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god..so stupid..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey, i was looking through all my essays and stuff on my computer, and i found this..a letter i was planning to send to my now ex boyfriend, and god..

i am a full fledged freakazoid..to have cared after someone like that prat!! LOOK!

"Yeah it's had to come to sending you another fucking letter. What the FUCK is up with you? You say "Oh I love you, everything is wrong..you're breaking my heart" you were fucking drunk weren't you? None of the shit you've said is true, NONE of it, yet I keep thinking "oh, he means it this time, he said to me everyone tells everything they really mean when they're drunk, that's when the truth comes out." well what IS the truth? You say you love me, you don't act like it, you ignore me when I try to get in contact with you, and don't pull this shit no credit in your phone. Landlines, heard of them?! I'm fucking crying again trying to type this out. God, I hate this, I HATE everytime you get me so upset like this, when you are just so selfish and heartless, you don't seem to care at all how this makes me feel, talk about heartache? Trust me, Paul, what you do to me and what I've done to you do NOT compare.
I hate feeling like this, totally upset and useless to sort things between us, and getting into tears over you. I hate loving someone so much and not getting anything back, even when they say they love you too much to lose you, and that everything is wrong, they still go back on their word and ignore you, and refuse to make an effort. It makes me feel like you've got the upper hand on things when it shouldn't be. It shouldn't need to come to you upsetting me this time. Fuck, if you love someone and know they do in return it shouldn't hurt as much as this. It shouldn't resort to me feeling like shit if I want you to be a better boyfriend. You rarely make an effort as it is. I want you to make me happy, I'm fed up giving and just not getting. I shouldn't NEED you to make me happy, you should KNOW already. Christ, you are so fucking emotionally unavailable, you are Mr. Big from Sex and The City, seriously, watch it and I'm sure you will seriously recognise your behaviour on TV. And I don't know why I run back to you, when it does no good for me, but I just love you too much and hope that you will sometime see things for what they are, and just act on them to improve things. I just want you to be a boyfriend, one I can depend on, because I know you care THAT much. But you keep refusing to go and do that for me, and it ends up like this, and then getting back together, then this shit again. When will something give and change please? I really want to know.
Everytime I finish work, I always think, oh I've mentioned to Paul that I like suprises, maybe he'll meet me after work and take me out to dinner, or a run somewhere or whatever, just because he wants to see me. But you don't, and I hear everyone say, oh, I'm meeting my boyf/girlf after work, they're running me home, meeting me for dinner etc, and it's like what the fuck, I've been going with Paul WAY longer than them, and they get this? If you care, or "love" like you said you do to me, you should be dying to see me all the time, because you want you spend as much time with me as possible cause you're head over heels basically. I want to see you all the time, I want to kiss you and cuddle you and do so much more, but I don't. I don't want to be the one who's the soppy slushy one who gets nothing back, so I phone you and text you as much as you do me to see if you would want to make an effort to do more than that, but you don't. That's probably why you say I make little effort. It's as much as you have. I'd love to text you, and phone you all the time, but I don't want to be chasing you ALL the time, I want to have you chase after me, so I don't. I don't hug and kiss you as much as I do, cause you are so casual about things, it is really casual and simple with you. I want to have you be totally proud to show me off, and have me on your arm and let everyone know I'm yours.


He didn't care at all, and I never sent him that letter, and I'm glad.

I hated feeling torn and helpless..god, i hate him for making me feel that fucking helpless.

learn from me, don't let yourself be absorbed into something that makes you think like that up above, no guy is worth any hassle when all you want is happiness. It should come so so easily..

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't waste your time hating someone who doesn't care whether you hate them or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't hate him and don't dwell on it constantly, I just found that last night, and I remembered why I did hate him, and that (second) letter justified why.

    Being honest, I rarely think about him, there's no need to because it's done and dusted but all I'm saying is for girls not to get caught up in all that crap boys do so easily. They're thick as mince and never click onto when you're being hurt. And no guy is worth the time of day when you think deep down he does.

    He likes the regularity of the situation, and basically he gets a free ride each time you go back, and no one deserves that if that's all their intentions are.

    So, it's just a lesson, really.

    It took me a while to figure out but I have now, and wow, I've flourished so much for it, I know that sounds so pompous but I have, he was fucking me up so much.

    So girls, and guys I suppose if their girlfriends act like that..

    TAKE NOTICE!
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend says that when I write him letters he gets really confused. I think its because women communicate in such a different way and men feel all bamboozled by it!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't waste your time hating someone who doesn't care whether you hate them or not.

    Bumblebee, that is the best thing I've read all day. ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ditch the letter- its seems to annoy you even redaing it!
    You'll lose nothing by throwing it away!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did! I have deleted it, and it did annoy me and it makes me laugh cause dang. I was thick really.

    You should see him..he's soo..HDJKHAJKLD friggin' annoying, but there ya go, you live, you learn, you love, you learn..and ooooh that alanis morrisette song
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So girls, and guys I suppose if their girlfriends act like that..

    damn im so glad you added that on the end........ me and my ex fiance where like that...... why we got engaged i dont know but its a long story maybe if i get to know some of you better you will get to hear the story in time




    (damn all i can think about is my ex fiance and my ex gf latley weird huh? how they just pop up and you cant stop thinking about it forr ages)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Samael


    (damn all i can think about is my ex fiance and my ex gf latley weird huh? how they just pop up and you cant stop thinking about it forr ages)

    I know that feeling. Grr...why do they just pop into your head from time to time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know, exes suck, and i still think of him sometimes, when i shouldn't really, but it's human nature, you rely on the history of nice things that happened between you both and it gives a twinge and that is totally natural.

    but you are better away from anything that causes you pain, cause reminising, recollecting, remembering the past is no way to carry on, it makes you ill, and affects others because they know better than you that you should snap out of it.

    it has been easier said than done, i know, i know..but looking back at that letter and the power he had over me..it's like damn.

    what a fool.

    it's a nicer thing to know you aren't the only one :)
    :heart: to y'all :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg ok..wtf??!?!?!

    BUD!
    I'm sorry, i replied to my own thread and it came up your name?!?!?

    IM SO SORRY!

    but..that post was mine..bud's not gay, if you are, that is ok. LOL jk god, awkwardness.

    YEAH

    that was my post!!

    "i know, exes suck, and i still think of him sometimes, when i shouldn't really, but it's human nature, you rely on the history of nice things that happened between you both and it gives a twinge and that is totally natural.

    but you are better away from anything that causes you pain, cause reminising, recollecting, remembering the past is no way to carry on, it makes you ill, and affects others because they know better than you that you should snap out of it.

    it has been easier said than done, i know, i know..but looking back at that letter and the power he had over me..it's like damn.

    what a fool.

    it's a nicer thing to know you aren't the only one
    :heart: to y'all :D"


    jeebus..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by byny
    My boyfriend says that when I write him letters he gets really confused. I think its because women communicate in such a different way and men feel all bamboozled by it!!

    Women are so irritating, OMG you won't let me watch corrie on your tv in your bedroom in your house, you must not love me.

    Your rationale is fucked up !

    I remember one day I brought gf back to mine, had dimmers on, candles, chinese ,some vino blah di blah made a big deal. Half seven, Corries on, eastenders is on etc etc. Yet you still fucking moan that men make no effort.

    Getting a fucking blow job OMG I go down on my gf all the time, I get a bj on christmas and b/days WTF ????

    Then I read here "men are as thick as mince" etc They don't know what us women want ?

    You don't even know what you want yourselves most of the time, usually it'll be whatever you know the man doesn't want just be awkward bitches.

    I think it sucks ass that men are portrayed as non romantic etc Just coz you don't get flowers sent to work every week, Oh he neglects me, he's a prick, he didn't ring last night, even though he rang the last 364 days in a row he's still a prick.

    I'm mad GRRRRRRRR

    Oh 8Mile rules on a million levels go see it peeps !!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Demon Hunter


    Women are so irritating, OMG you won't let me watch corrie on your tv in your bedroom in your house, you must not love me.

    Your rationale is fucked up !

    I remember one day I brought gf back to mine, had dimmers on, candles, chinese ,some vino blah di blah made a big deal. Half seven, Corries on, eastenders is on etc etc. Yet you still fucking moan that men make no effort.

    Getting a fucking blow job OMG I go down on my gf all the time, I get a bj on christmas and b/days WTF ????

    Then I read here "men are as thick as mince" etc They don't know what us women want ?

    You don't even know what you want yourselves most of the time, usually it'll be whatever you know the man doesn't want just be awkward bitches.

    I think it sucks ass that men are portrayed as non romantic etc Just coz you don't get flowers sent to work every week, Oh he neglects me, he's a prick, he didn't ring last night, even though he rang the last 364 days in a row he's still a prick.

    I'm mad GRRRRRRRR

    Oh 8Mile rules on a million levels go see it peeps !!!


    RIGHT!!!

    ok I'm whinging, cause I have had a rough time with all my boyfriends!! Yes, you can rant on and say it might be my own fault, but I have learned NEVER..

    NEVER

    ..lower my standards for any guy..

    I have high standards, and they're not even that HIGH chrissakes, just the odd bunch of flowers, suprise dates yada yada, making an all round effort for me to be WOOED god, it's not like I'm wanting to be married.

    Just what boyfriends are meant to be, your best mate, someone you fancy the knickers off and wanna get it on with 43683274892 times, someone you can tell your daftest secrets to, and someone who you can cry to whenever you need it..

    it's not a lot to ask to be considerate, it really is.

    And if you're getting testy about ex amount of minus bjs take it to a street corner! don't blame it on your gf, maybe she doesn't like doin em full stop, have you ever thought that you have never brought up the subject but insist giving her head in hope she clicks on might just suggest to her you love giving her it so much she doesn't think you want it?!! stop being so bloody selfish and doing things only to get attention, wining, dining wooing should happen to make your missus HAPPY!

    NOT to go intending of getting a BJ have you even talked to her about it?! maybe there's a lack of communication goin on there, mate! if so, don't take it out on us cause you need sexual relief..

    YOU HAVE A HAND!

    USE IT!

    thank you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well here you have a perfect example of male stupidity....me replying to this thread, i'm blatantly gonna get torn to pieces by the girls but for some reason i can't stop myself.
    Originally posted by byny
    My boyfriend says that when I write him letters he gets really confused. I think its because women communicate in such a different way and men feel all bamboozled by it!!

    Your boyfriend is spot on. Why letters, why do y'all do it? Does it mean we've been especially good or bad, or just normal good or bad? Does it require a box of chocoloate and some flowers or dinner and some ear rings? Why not a text or a phone call or in person? Why write it all out? You do realise that most guys skim read so we probably miss loads out anyway?

    *shrug* Letters - the eternal mystery
    Originally posted by Demon Hunter
    I remember one day I brought gf back to mine, had dimmers on, candles, chinese ,some vino blah di blah made a big deal. Half seven, Corries on, eastenders is on etc etc. Yet you still fucking moan that men make no effort.

    And again....spot on. Imagine if it had been the other way around, she'd made the effort...and the footbal came on the box? Fireworks or what! For some reason its absolutley fine to watch soaps (as long as you don't interrupt her constant chatter about what she thinks is gonna happen next week/what Sharon at work heard from her friends, cousins, boyfriend who works on the set about that brunette bird whose related to the one who lives over the street from the murderor, and most importantly you don't DARE ask a question about whats going on...... you never watch, just shut up or i'm gonna miss an important bit ). Soaps are a good couple activity apparently but match of the day is guaranteed to have her in the kind of mood that only some seriousw grovelling/expensive presents/marriage proposal is gonna fix.

    And why ..... in this day of enlightened equality between sexes...... are we the ones who have to put in all the effort, take them out and do all the chasing????? Honestly, you get an equal wage and the vote hows about meeting us after work?

    ps. bebedawl, this was in no way an attack on you and i apologise if it sounds as if it is. Its just a general rant :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ps. bebedawl, this was in no way an attack on you and i
    apologise if it sounds as if it is. Its just a general rant

    that's alright then.

    lmao it's cool i was ranting as well i suppose..this post was a bout a lesson, but it's turned into a mad..battle of the sexes..ehh..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bebedawl
    lmao it's cool i was ranting as well i suppose..this post was a bout a lesson, but it's turned into a mad..battle of the sexes..ehh..

    Hehe, best place to do it...on a message board. That way no one gets hurt and you might get some answers to the mystery. These types of threads are good, means my amazingly small knowledge of women starts to grow slightly. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jon_UK


    Hehe, best place to do it...on a message board. That way no one gets hurt and you might get some answers to the mystery. These types of threads are good, means my amazingly small knowledge of women starts to grow slightly. :)

    same here..well for blokes anyhoo. :P

    but we really are both buggered up creatures aint we. no one will ever figure out the behaviour of each other, and that's danged annoying.

    but first hand experience is always better, plus the voices of others to help along the way..so rant on;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your points are stupid !!!!

    No wonder you get no love !!!!

    I was arguing your points and speaking in general.

    I do use my hand thanks !

    Eh I know your a woman but even allowing for that you must concur that even a women would have to know that fella's like head. Also why just do it on b/days, if she didn't know i liked it ?

    Hmmph Well ?????? oIoo
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    [rant]

    LMAO!

    no wonder i don't get love cause i don't go with your thoughts?!

    THAT'S WHAT ITS BEEN!!

    ok all men should get head.

    now i'm gonna walk out the door and i'll get a husband.

    you whine about women all being soap fanatics and yada yada, that's just one girl you went out with who didn't appreciate your efforts to wine and dine. not my prob. not any other girls.

    so don't claim us all to be right little besoms. cause we all ain't prats, and i know guys aren't either, but the majority of them all are obssessed with getting their own way, and i know this aint the case but my post wasn't even about slaggin all guys!! grr, it's inital intentions were for girls and blokes to stay away from people like that, cause they do no good for anyone!!

    ok my points are points that i'm going along with PURELY on the info you gave me, yes all women know men likes giving head, but maybe the vibes she gets from you is that you're so effin keen to give it to her she doesn't think you mind doin it back!!

    and i dunno her reasons for givin you head on friggin holidays, she's not my bird i dunno!!

    FRIGGIN WELL ASK HER INSTEAD OF MOANIN AT ME!!!

    all you'll get is yes or no, and that's it..simple.

    my points are valid. just possible explanations from info you gave me.

    there are girls who don't like givin head, it's really true, and maybe your lass is one too, if she only does it on special occasions yanno?

    i dont mind giving head cause i know a guy wants it eventually, i dont preferably like it when i'm not in the mood, but when i'm all goin for it and in the mood you're an ice lolly! :lol:
    other girls are like that too, try gettin her in the mood and ease her on down?

    but talking would seriously not go a miss either, mate.

    [/rant]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just what boyfriends are meant to be, your best mate, someone you fancy the knickers off and wanna get it on with 43683274892 times, someone you can tell your daftest secrets to, and someone who you can cry to whenever you need it..

    hey hey sounds like me!! not trying to blow my own horn or anything there honest!

    but the girls i have been in a relationship with both ended it and never gave me a valid reason (in my opinion) as to why they ended it

    you think its cause i was too much of a push over maybe?


    Your points are stupid !!!!

    No wonder you get no love !!!!

    I was arguing your points and speaking in general.

    I do use my hand thanks !

    Eh I know your a woman but even allowing for that you must concur that even a women would have to know that fella's like head. Also why just do it on b/days, if she didn't know i liked it ?

    Hmmph Well ?????? oIoo

    how old are you?......sorry but first impression is that your early teens and you are also too critical IMHO

    dont you think blowing up at bebedawl like that was just a little uncalled for? just cause your gf dont give you what you want you feel it was in order to have a rant about all females being like that?

    its the same as saying you and Tony blair and Robbie williams are all exactly the same

    look now you got me ranting now :(

    oh BTW:
    ok all men should get head.

    you give in to easy :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bebedawl
    [rant]

    LMAO!

    no wonder i don't get love cause i don't go with your thoughts?!

    THAT'S WHAT ITS BEEN!!

    ok all men should get head.

    now i'm gonna walk out the door and i'll get a husband.

    you whine about women all being soap fanatics and yada yada, that's just one girl you went out with who didn't appreciate your efforts to wine and dine. not my prob. not any other girls.
    Not my fault you can't get a decent man !
    [/B][/QUOTE]
    so don't claim us all to be right little besoms. cause we all ain't prats, and i know guys aren't either, but the majority of them all are obssessed with getting their own way, and i know this aint the case but my post wasn't even about slaggin all guys!! grr, it's inital intentions were for girls and blokes to stay away from people like that, cause they do no good for anyone!!

    ok my points are points that i'm going along with PURELY on the info you gave me, yes all women know men likes giving head, but maybe the vibes she gets from you is that you're so effin keen to give it to her she doesn't think you mind doin it back!!

    and i dunno her reasons for givin you head on friggin holidays, she's not my bird i dunno!!

    FRIGGIN WELL ASK HER INSTEAD OF MOANIN AT ME!!!

    all you'll get is yes or no, and that's it..simple.

    my points are valid. just possible explanations from info you gave me.

    there are girls who don't like givin head, it's really true, and maybe your lass is one too, if she only does it on special occasions yanno?

    i dont mind giving head cause i know a guy wants it eventually, i dont preferably like it when i'm not in the mood, but when i'm all goin for it and in the mood you're an ice lolly! :lol:
    other girls are like that too, try gettin her in the mood and ease her on down?

    but talking would seriously not go a miss either, mate.

    [/rant] [/B][/QUOTE]

    Oh I can't be arsed to argue back, too busy in work !!!!

    Arrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!

    Actually some good advice in there, now cut out the b/s and you've got your own agony aunt style !!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually some good advice in there, now cut out the b/s and you've got your own agony aunt style !!

    kudos to me?? :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kudos to me??

    dont you just hate it when you answer your own questions?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bebedawl


    kudos to me?? :eek2:

    Yes kudos to you !!!

    Now come here grrrrr:naughty:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lmao luff jew too<33

    god the intention of this post has WELL been chucked out the window.

    oh well.

    MWUAAAAH!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bebedawl
    lmao luff jew too<33

    god the intention of this post has WELL been chucked out the window.

    oh well.

    MWUAAAAH!

    Mwaahhh to you too

    Samuel just noticed your reply now coz thats how important it is !!

    LLLLLLLLoser !!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was called an agony aunt last night by my mate.

    god that's a big hint.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bebedawl
    i was called an agony aunt last night by my mate.

    god that's a big hint.

    You should start a thread !!!

    Solving peoples dilemmas !!

    Dear Bebedawl, I was playing with a cucumber and somehow its got lodged in my ass !

    Please Help !!!

    :lol:
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