Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

How funny is sex....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Is it just me or is the actual act of sex the most proposterous thing ever...

Haven't we all just had one of those occasions when something so minor and silly has happened while we do the "matress mambo" that neither party could help but break down in uncontrollable laughter?

Watching her try to be terriably seductive and teasing as she let rip a horrendous fart still brings tears to my eyes. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

But I'd love to hear any amusing anecdotes that you guys want to share...
Esp Turtle (Who would have to give us proof!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; )



Girls need beauty a lot more than brains because guys can see a lot better than they can think.
Irish Proverb

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heres one.

    I was on weekend leave in sailsbury(sp?) near stone henge. about thirty of us in a place called the coach house, any way it was £1 a drink, so to say we were drunk would kind of be missing the piont.
    me and a mate spy one of the girls from the officers mess, also rather drunk, so I go over and start talking with her one thing leeds to another and she invites me back to her house, now me not being selfish ask if my mate can come back and sleep down stairs, (yeah right) anyway she agrees. we get back to hers and she did not tell us she still lived with her mum and dad, so I tell my mate to give us about half hour and I go leaving him to it.
    we done the deed lying back in bed and hear this almighty crash. I pop my head round the door to see what is going on. my mate had creapt up stairs as quiet as a mouse on reaching the top of the stairs he fell back grabing the only thing avalible. he pulled an entire book case down all we could see was his erect penis sticking out of this pile of books, her dad went mad and through him and me out.
    a few weeks later I saw her again in a more local pub and again she invited me back this time every thing went fine except in the morning she told me not to say i was a squaddie as her mum hated them.
    so when her mum asked what I did I told her I was a muff diver and that me and my partner were looking for muffs on sailsbury plain.
    this would all have gone fine until I was invited round for dinner with an open invertation for my partner. who a few weeks earlier had trashed their house.
    we turned up just as her dad was getting home from work. he recognised us instantly, luckly at the time the door was open and we were being invited in so he did not say a word not until her mum told him what we done for a living.
    "MUFF DIVER, MUFF DIVER" he shouted (even typing this makes me laugh) he jumped up the table went flying food went every where, and we were on our toes, like scared rabbits. he chased us for miles it was only when we got back to camp did he have to give up.

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That was seriously good stuff.....
    Keep them coming (both literally and otherwise) lads and ladies....

    Girls need beauty a lot more than brains because guys can see a lot better than they can think.
    Irish Proverb
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, when i was with my first gf, we did it outside in a wooded area. When I got home my legs and arse were covered in red blotches, insect bites! My mum thought i had menningitis and wanted to call the doctor!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Carry on with the storys this is some seriously funny stuff!

    :::::_-Some People Are Born With Greatness, Some People Have Greatness Thrust Upon them, Some People Achieve Greatness, Others Will always be total Gits-_:::::
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She'd never forgive me for telling this one... but hey we're not going out anymore so I'm not too worried <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Myself and my ex girlfriend were out for a drive, finding somewhere nice and secluded as her house was a no-go area with younger siblings.
    We found ourselves a nice big field with a willow tree to give us a little cover from the sun and suddenly developed an interest in nudism... I won't entertain you with the details (I am after all a gentleman, most of the time <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; )
    But a couple of hours later I drifted back into consciousness to the sound of my ex's voice. "Mmmmm thats nice, keep doing it..."
    Surprised by how pleased she was that I'd woken up I turned over... Only to find a baby cow had joined us under the tree and was now licking the small of her back!
    Only when I started laughing did the calf stop and she looked over her shoulder and screamed.... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Oooh, memories....


    Girls need beauty a lot more than brains because guys can see a lot better than they can think.
    Irish Proverb
  • Options
    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    lol! these are funny <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    i dont even have any particularly funny stories <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; the only time i can think of was with my ex ex and we were downstairs in his lounge, and it was the middle of the night. theres a bed in there for some unknown reason, covered with this blanket to disguise it (??? lol), and well... use your imagination! anyway i somehow managed to get my foot stuck in a small wooden nativity play, and many shepherds fell to their deaths and we spent a lot of time scrabbling around trying to find them again...and about 5 mins after we had our clothes back on his dad came down!! "we .. er fell asleep watching the tv"....

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hilarious

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spade - that is surely the best one anyone will post! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    The challange is there.....

    Those are models legs, but are they womans or are they mens?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It isn't nearly so funny in the telling as in person <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    We couldn't look each other in the eyes for quite sometime. Then the following week I asked for calve's liver in a restaurant, she remembered before I did and leaned over the table to lick my on the cheek before almost falling off her chair in giggles....
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Life is sweet <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Irish proverb; "a bald head is easily shaved"
Sign In or Register to comment.