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Stubborn men!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok simple question 4 u.
How do u convince a bloke to go down on u?
I give my boyfriend bjs in the most weird and wonderful places but he doesn't want to do me in return.
we have been going out for 11 months now and he's done me once and it was amazing!! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
However now he never does it no matter how good i tell him he was. i won't pressure him into doing it but it means that when we have sex he is horny as hell coz he's had his bj as 4 play where as i've had nothing and take ages to come.
How can i make him see that oral sex is be as important 4 me as it is 4 him??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i understand that not everyone is into oral but my opinion on the matter is that if you give, you should reveive and vice versa.
    I dont particularly like givin it but if you receive it you shouuld make the effort like your partner has, in my opinion it brings you closer if you make slight sacrifices.

    To sum up, i think he is being selfish and you should subtley tell him that you want it, the thought myst have crossed his mind. Maybe he is waiting for you to ask,some guys like that
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He acn't be waiting 4 me to ask coz i'm always asking! Either in a subtle way or just straight out!! I don't want to see pushy. I don't like bjs either but i know that he does so i make the effort. i know that sex etc isn't everything but it is if ur the one doing all the giving and getting nothing back!!
    Thanx 4 the reply anyway!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well what does he say when you ask? i agree, its totally unfair.

    I had a guy who said he found it difficult to
    breathe when he did it
    what am i, toxic?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't give him anymore BJ's!!

    Or just tell him you think its unfair he get foreplay and you don't

    I think its only fair he do it to you, still you could withdraw BJ's from your sex life, i'm sure that will soon have him on his knees <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When i ask he either says "yeah next time" or "you do me first" so i do him and then he ends up so horny that we have sex. the thing is hes a really nice guy and i'm the type of person who gives in easily!!
    when i threaten no bjs he either says that he never makes me do them in the first place or he just says fine, no sex!! I'm 19 for gods sake!! No sex is a nightmare scenario. oh horrid thought!! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    * kicks herself for being so naive and realises she must remember that for the next time this situation comes up *

    Saved the day again harmless!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    , no sex!! I'm 19 for gods sake!! No sex is a nightmare scenario. oh horrid thought

    I always thought girls could hold out longer then guys???

    Next time he says no sex say fine back, and leave it at that!

    I'm willing to bet big money on him Crawling back to you with tail between his legs!! and then you can both give and take!!

    Making the world a happier place

    Edit because my mind was thinking faster then my hands were typing!

    [ 07-05-2002: Message edited by: Harmless ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but does he give you an actual reason why he wont do it for you.

    sounds to me, as a complete outsider, like he's scared he'll do it wrong or somethin - men are such delicate souls arent they? <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe it sounds a little too critical (especially as another outsider) but it sounds to me like nothing more than pure selfishness. He seems to have an ready answer rather than putting the wants of his partner first as any person should do in a love relationship.

    id have to agree with the poster above who advised you to say "fine, no sex then" and go off and buy a vibrator and pleasure yourself until he either decides to act like a real man or else you decide to dump him for someone who will put in some effort.

    [ 07-05-2002: Message edited by: Clandestine ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers guys. gonna give ur ideas a go. I don't think hes scared to do it coz i always tell him that i will talk him throught it and show him. Plus the one time he did do it was the best i've ever had.
    He's only ever had 1 other girlfriend so maybe that is the case.
    No blow jobs 4 this poor boy til i get some action or at least a valid reason why i haven't had any.
    Thanx 4 all the help <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    k firstly, who knew that there was such a bloke as this? a guy who is openly invited to go down on his girlfriend, and yet, wont? what the fuck? i wanna go down on my gf all the time, i love it, i love making her happy, if u like u can come round mine, im certainly willing,
    hee hee, sorry for the forwardness, but lifes short, no time to waste

    im a reasonable man, get off my case
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personnally i like it!!
    but i was once told that women wish blokes could breath through their ears!! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he is being totally unfair. not much more i can say on this because everyone has said what i was thinking.

    let us know how things go anyway
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey don't try and make this guy do anything he doesn't like. Don't be so selfish, if he doesn't enjoy it, then dont do it!

    Just imagine switching the gender roles. If it was a girl refusing to take it up the ass or suck dick or something, we would all be sticking up for her!

    Such double standards!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's never said that he doesn't like doing it. I have asked several times. I've tried being nice, telling him that if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to do it but he always says that now isn't the right time etc.
    And i give him bjs and swallow (which he knows i hate) because i know how much he likes it. I thought there had to be some give and take in a relationship? I would never force him to do anything!!

    and Sir Psycho sexy may have to take u up on ur offer in the future!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think kza has a very valid point. I didn't even think about that angle. He shouldn't necessarily have to do it, but at the very least you deserve a good reason why he won't. And I'm sure it probably won't be easy to get either, but you're more than justified in using any tactics available to you to get one or the other out of him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Same thing happend to me ages ago, but the other way round <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I was doing all the work, and getting nothing back in reply!!

    Personally i dont mind going down on a girl <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> It's fun...bit messy but hey.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    KZA I think you have proved you have a really open mind. You are absolutely right in saying that people would have a different view topic was I girl not giving a guy oral.

    I do, however sympathise with hotphoenix. I can't imagine how frustrated I would become in the same situation. In fact, if I felt like I was doing all the giving then I don' think I would stay in the relationship
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