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Dreading going back to uni

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Hi all, I'm wondering if I'm the only one or are others dreading going back to uni after christmas hols?! I'm having an okay time at uni after my first term, I have lots of people I know-ish like we say hello or whatever but no close mates. I hate most my hall mates and I feel like an outsider. I don' t have any close girl friends, but I've got loads of bloke mates (I'm doing computing and used to being one of the lads!). The one close girl friend I had (who was on my corridor) was here for one term and has gone back to America. I can't be arsed to go back and put on my fake smile and keep trying to fit in!! Does it get easier to make friends? Any advice on making friends will be good too :)
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stick at it, I bet many others are feeling the same. Most people aren't able to make GOOD friends in a matter of months, it takes time to develop relationships.

    Good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not looking forward to going back, I've made a few friends mainly the people I live with but sometimes feel a little left out,but like pussykatty says friendships can't be formed strongly in a small amount of time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    show an interest in anybody you feel you like but try not to seem too needy. 99% of the time it works
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I felt exactly the same as you this time last year. I had two friends and they didn't know each other. It was awful. I kep running home every weekend which made it worse I suppose for when I was there during the week, but I loved every minute of every weekend!

    I don't have any tips for making friends, because the only way I have made friends at uni is by getting a job where lots of other students work! So, theres a tip for you, get a job with other students if possible.

    You could also join a society?

    This year I am living at home and commuting to university (I only live 10 miles away) and I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I'm not even friends with the two people I was last year, because our circumstances had thrown us together!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your not alone. I feel exactly the same. I made the mistake of coming home every week tho to my 'old' friends and not trying which means now groups have been made and i've kinda lost out. No matter though, will just move in with completely new people next year and start again but it IS what you make of it. Even if that means going to visit your 'old' friends at their unis and doing it that way. It isnt as easy as just being told to 'smile at people and make friends' though and even though you know yourself its only the start and theres years yet, you worry about who your going to share your hosue with and the year seems to stretch on forever with the company of people you dont like.

    As for advice, i dont know...all i do, or should i say all i have resigned myself to the fact of, is that i will make a lot of effort next year and just do a lot of paid work and come home lots this year.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Key piece of advice here: don't worry. The first term is the hardest and a lot of people go with the expectation that they will automatically form friendships: not true except on rare occasions and these are usually superficial. I met my first real friend on my course and I can't remember exactly how we came to be friends but somewhat usefully, he and his corridor mates (on campus) were looking for someone to share a house with for the second year. Just so happened that I needed a place too and the rest is history and I still enjoy the same friendships.

    The main thing to glean from this is that you are almost certain to meet someone like-minded at university unless you try to avoid it. Take the advice given earlier and join a few clubs or societies and try to look at it as a fresh start with completely new people to involve yourself with. However, don't force anything and you'll find that natural friendships form. Another thing is, the more people you meet, the more possible friendships there are.
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