anyone got a problem with condoms?

Former Member

I am looking for advice, my boyfriend has a problem with condoms, every time he puts one on, he goes soft quickly. He is a diabetic and cant take viagra. I have heard about creams and things you can get, can anyone reccommend one and let me know where to get it?

Former Member

When I first started using them I experienced the same problem. Why don't you try putting them on for him, it may solve the problem <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

its most probably nerves and with a little more practis eim sure you will have it all sorted <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
xx deeby doo xx

Former Member

It is most likely that he's simply concentrating too hard on putting on the condom, and losing the mood for a moment. That will get better as he gets more experienced at putting them on, and doesn't need to concentrate or take much time. If you want to help, try keeping him hot by posing, flirting or just talking dirty to him while he's putting it on.

If you think this could be a medical problem however (unlikely) then as always, its best to visit the GP.

Former Member

*bows down to black knight*
you always know what to say...
are you the font of all knowledge?

Former Member

We have tried the things you suggest and I have tried to excite him while he puts it on, I have put it on for him, and all things like that. It doesnt go soft straight away or while he puts it on, he just goes soft right after putting it on. We did see a doctor and he said that he couldnt reccommend anything because he suffers from high blood pressure. However I have heard that there are some stay-hard type creams available, I just dont know anything about them and am looking for some advice.

Former Member

It still could be a psychological problem, where because it caused *ahem* 'wilting' in the past, he worries it will happen each time, and that worrying then makes it happen.

Since he has high blood pressure, that rules out a great deal of the creams and lotions available in sex shops (which often work poorly anyway, and only then by raising blood pressure or causing a tingling sensation). In general, the Doctor should be able to advise properly, but yes, sometimes they need reminding that this isn't trivial to the sufferer.

Your partner should let the doctor know that this situation is causing some unhappiness and stress (stress is a magic word for making doctors take more notice usually). Basically, keep on at the doctor until he at least checks for latex allergies, and gives some advice on the matter.

In the meantime, consider using other methods than condoms. For starters you can both get blood tests to confirm the absence of STDs and then you can at least practice oral sex without need for condoms. Have you considered other methods of contraception? Condoms are not great contraceptives anyway - my own conception was testament to the imperfect contraceptive powers of condoms. <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Originally posted by wozaline:
<STRONG>*bows down to black knight*
you always know what to say...
are you the font of all knowledge?</STRONG>

Thank you very much for that compliment. <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Alas, like most of us I don't always say the right things in my own life, and I certainly make my share of daft mistakes. Still, I forgive myself making mistakes so long as I learn from them, and never needlessly make the same mistake twice. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

i'm a girl and ihave problems with condoms. My b/f wud always have sex with one on, he wud never have sex without one, i liked that showed he cared, but i found condoms to be painful when having sex. It didn't matter how lubricated i was they always hurt so we had to stop using them when he was ready to go the next step.