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Is my boyf a freak?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ive been with my boyf nearly a year,and we're actually engaged now.The problem is that he is never ever horny! We used to make love about 6-7 times a week,now it's only 1-2.He gets hard on's,but says he doesnt want sex.Sometimes he makes excuses saying his cock's sore from the previous day.Or that he's too tired (he gets up at 5 every mornin)Ive spoken to him loads about it but it never gets resolved.Is he sleeping with someone else or are there some men who just genuinely dont like sex too often? PLEASE HELP!!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi alley,

    i have been with my bf for 4 years and in the beginning we used to have sex frequently. since then it has fluctuated - sometimes it is loads, sometimes not. i used to take it really personally and think that he didn't fancy me/was seeing someone else.

    like you, we talked about it loads and never seemed to resolve it.

    however, if you both enjoy the sex you have (after all it is quality, not quantity) and ask your bf to reassure you that he does fancy you, i'm sure that your relationship is fine.

    not all lads want sex all the time-we are all different!

    take care

    cheekytrickster
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno. I'd say he's different from 90% of the male population, but then again what would i kNow?

    I guess it is rare to have a guy that isn't gagging for sex every living second, but it happens.

    Cos i'm thinking about a brand new hope, one i've never known, and where it goes, cos now I know it's all that wanted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well blokes get tired easily and if he has to get up at 5 then thats a valid excuse. I wouldnt preume hes cheating on you cos he only wants sex twice a week.

    "Is sex dirty? Only if its done right."
    - Woody Allen
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah...is true. 6-7 times a weak is fucking a lot! (excuse the double pun)

    Cos i'm thinking about a brand new hope, one i've never known, and where it goes, cos now I know it's all that wanted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think its anything against you.What I think is that at a beginning of a relationship you really are overwhelmed and its like a new thing,like a pair of new trainers-many take care of them for a while,make sure they are really clean but after a while its no big deal no more but if they had got ruined or whatever they'll still be upset.I suppose thats what its like.At the beginning,he's scared to lose you and is very exciting of this 'new thing' and then after a while you tend to take it for granted-but that doesnt mean he's gone off you.
    Looking at me and my boyfriend-at the start we were nervous but really excited but now I suppose you could say we're use to it-not bored but now we argue,piss each other off etc...this is an example of me taking for granted of him but I still love him to bits and more than alot of things.Of course we are still really lovey dovey.
    So there really is nothing to worry about and also-be sympathetic,5 o'clock in the morning!!!that is hard work.Maybe you could give him massages when he gets home from a hard days work.I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

    Another example is a parent of a new born baby.At first they would hate to make the child cry,you'd enjoy and cherish every minute you are with the baby and then as time goes on and the child grows you probably would have scold it a few times-made her cry a few times-you get the picture?its the other way round too,the child rebel against their parents but if anything had happened to the parent they'll realise they had took them for granted.

    Enough examples.I hope you know what I'm saying.Its safe to know that you have been open about it-says that what you and your lover have is strong.
    Congratulations on yr engagement by the way.
    Good luck.

    If you're still reading this now-well done that u've actually got to here,its awfully long and probably waffly-sorry but I just needed to say it.

    Yr safe.Till next time
    GOODBYE <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
    CHEEKy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey cheektrickster,
    i was just wondering how old u were and when u got wiv ur bf! i dunno y i guess im just nosy! anyway write bk luv jo xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey jo,

    met my bf when i was 18 at university. i am 23 in april....scary...

    cheekytrickster
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Alley:
    Ive been with my boyf nearly a year,and we're actually engaged now.The problem is that he is never ever horny! We used to make love about 6-7 times a week,now it's only 1-2.He gets hard on's,but says he doesnt want sex.Sometimes he makes excuses saying his cock's sore from the previous day.Or that he's too tired (he gets up at 5 every mornin)Ive spoken to him loads about it but it never gets resolved.Is he sleeping with someone else or are there some men who just genuinely dont like sex too often? PLEASE HELP!!!

    Yes it possible that he has a lower sex driv than you despite the myth that men are horny beasts 24/7 it is not uncommon for a man to have a lower drive sexually than his partner, there could be several explanations for this
    • He naturally has a low sex drive
    • He has had an upbringing in which sex is a taboo subject
    • He has had a nasty sexual experience in the past, that worries him
    • He is ill, such as depressed which kills labido nearly dead
    • Something may have gone awry within the relationship

    If there isn't a reason he will talk to you about, maybe he can see a dr in case it's something medically causing this sudden loss of desire. If it is down to just a naturally low libido he isn't alone I don't have a burning sex drive and have in the past actually made myself physically sick to avoid a sexual encounter. He certainly isn't a freak.

    Good luck in finding a solution
    LUKA


    The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CHEEKYTRICKSTER,

    COOL......how sweet! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; i met my bf when i was 15 n he was 16, weve been together just over a year, so obviously im now 16 n he is 17!!!!

    speak soon luv jo xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i met my g/f when i was 16 and she was 14... now i'm 17 and she's 15.

    my sex drive is still as high as it was then... i think you should investigate the points laid out in LUKA's post, which was a very good post by the way! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx to all replys, I guess even if I already knew the advice you gave, it helps me believe it if i hear others say the same. Thanx to LUKA for the medical facts! And CHEEKy for the detailed and helpful advice.
    And thanx to Turtle too! City_boy -Twice it may be,but If i didnt practically force him to have sex with me through desperation,it would be no times a week!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Alley, i think he is a homosexual!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by throbbing_python_of_love:
    Alley, i think he is a homosexual!


    i think you have no idea what you are on about!


    "Is sex dirty? Only if its done right."
    - Woody Allen
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by throbbing_python_of_love:
    Alley, i think he is a homosexual!

    Takes one to know one ... hehehehe!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by J@ke:
    Takes one to know one ... hehehehe!

    Not in this day and age it doesn't!! :d
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by throbbing_python_of_love:
    Not in this day and age it doesn't!! :d


    Hey, you got a small willy - what'd you know??? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by throbbing_python_of_love:
    Alley, i think he is a homosexual!


    Gee, another immature person, there is ap place and a time on these boards, but not here this is MEANT TO BE A SERIOUS POST!



    500!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWHHHOOOOWHHOOO
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by throbbing_python_of_love:
    Alley, i think he is a homosexual!

    nobody cares what you think.
    get the message, yeah?



    i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.
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