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Premature Ejaculation

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am having serious problems with my boyfriend. We haven't been together for a long time, since about christmas, but have know each other for a while before we started going out.

First of all he had difficulty getting an erection and keeping it. Now he has no problem getting one, but keeps cumming immediately. Sometimes I only have to touch him and he cums.

He gets very upset and keeps saying sorry all the time. We have spoke about it and he thinks I am going to leave him. I have tried to reasure him that I won't leave him, I love him bits and just wish there was something I could do to help him.

Any ideas???

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you're going the right way about sorting this problem out. Love and reassurance can only help your boyfriend, because this problem is usually a mental rather a physical one, and is based in some form of insecurity.

    You don't say how old you are or whether this is a first sexual relationship for either of you, but I suggest that you continue to have patience with your partner and make him feel as comfortable with you as possible. Talking about this WILL help: make sure he knows that you're not in this for sex alone. Then the pressure of performing, and performing to some sort of expectation, will disintegrate.

    This will take time, but I reckon it'll be worth waiting! You sound like you have a strong relationship - this can only make it stonger.

    Good luck! <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your reply. I am 24 my boyfriend is 23.

    I know that it is a psychological problem rather there being something wrong medically. Everything else in our relationship is so good, we have such a laugh together and I thought we were relaxed around each other.

    Maybe some more talking and reassurance is in order.

    Thanks again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scone's pretty much hit the nail on the head, but there's another factor that affected me when sleeping with my g/f for the first time.
    I just couldn't get hard no matter what she did. We later found that the reason was
    the atmosphere we were in.
    Even though, you've moved on from the erection problem, it can still be the same.
    His job may be affecting him sub-conscously especially if it's stressfull as this may be reflected by the problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a similar problem with my boyfriend when we got together. I think it was a big combination of apprehension at his first 'serious' relationship, work and money worries and general stress. We learnt to laugh about it and just try new things. Sometimes we had a serious chat about it so I could get him to open up about his problems, and sometime's we'd joke about it. It just took time for him to feel stable with me and calmer in his lifestyle, and everything fell into place. Don't forget it's a big deal to him though, so don't belittle him or laugh at him, just give him time and lots of love. Good luck <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He doesn't have a job at the moment - he walked out of his old job 2 weeks ago. His job was stressing him at the time which is why he quit, we thought that that might have had something to do with it, he is going to lots of interviews etc. So maybe you have a point there.

    I know going to interviews make you nervous and maybe the insecurity of not having a job as well.

    Maybe that is what is on his subconscious mind.

    Do you mind if I ask uniquefreak if you are still with your girlfriend and if you overcame the problems that you had?

    Don't worry if it is too personnal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kitty,
    Check your messages!
    Cheers.
    U.F
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Private message sent back to you UF!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And again!!!!!
    U.F
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    UniqueFreak, I emailed your hotmail address.
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