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help please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey...i posted a question last week and didnt quite get the answer I wanted, I tried everything they asked but it didnt work. The question was my girlfriend thinks oral sex is dirty and thikns that pre marital sex is wrong, I really like her but ive been dating her for almost 2 years now and kissing is getting very dull, please help me..any advice or anything please
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that if you think of your girlfriend and the things she does as "dull" then the relationship may as well be over. If shes against anything sexual happening, and your obviously getted frustrated at this, then you both have different outlooks on life and may well be incompatible. if you loved her then you would be more than willing to wait for sex to happen, and wouldnt be using the word dull. get a life, or a slapper who wants an easy shag to get it outta your system. or at the least tell your girlfriend how you feel. good on her if she dumps you if you ask me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think tht after 2year youer relationshipshould have got abit moredaring,with plenty of kissing and exploring one an others bodies to get yourg/f in a sexy mood(im sure he would enjoy it)if it doent work out,perhaps the relationship should come to an end(Sadly)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude, if after two years you think she is dull then she's better off without you.

    If you loved her you would respect her wishes. Maybe you're just not right for one another.

    Tell her how you feel but do not force her into anything!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    give him a break!! he has been patient with her, FOR 2 YEARS!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want something shes not willing to offer, then either accept it, or find someone who you like that will. Personally its not gona work if shes so religious/does not want to have sex before marriage, and your gagging for it.

    Every bloke needs fun, but some girls, wether they've been taught its wrong or something, just dont enjoy sex or doing anything. Maybe it'll be better for you to talk to her about it, explain how you feel, every bloke is gagging for it, its nature at the end of the day, so the human race lives, and if at the end of your talk to come to the conclusion you cant wait, then walk away from it, maybe you want stuff she cant give you, and thats when you need to find that someone who'll give you all the stuff you want.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NeoNero:
    <STRONG>If you want something shes not willing to offer, then either accept it, or find someone who you like that will. Personally its not gona work if shes so religious/does not want to have sex before marriage, and your gagging for it.

    Every bloke needs fun, but some girls, wether they've been taught its wrong or something, just dont enjoy sex or doing anything. Maybe it'll be better for you to talk to her about it, explain how you feel, every bloke is gagging for it, its nature at the end of the day, so the human race lives, and if at the end of your talk to come to the conclusion you cant wait, then walk away from it, maybe you want stuff she cant give you, and thats when you need to find that someone who'll give you all the stuff you want.</STRONG>

    i totally agre mate, couldnt of said it better myself! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *SARAH*:
    <STRONG>give him a break!! he has been patient with her, FOR 2 YEARS!!!</STRONG>

    Err, no he hasn't! He's been asking her for oral sex etc!

    Love is about two way respect. He should respect her beliefs.

    I cannot believe that you think we should give him a break. After all, would you like it if you had strongly held beliefs that someone you love and trusted was trying to make you break? Well, would you?

    Why does no-one have any respect for other peoples feelings anymore? His girlfriend isn't the one with the problem, he is!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Gatorade00:
    <STRONG>hey...i posted a question last week and didnt quite get the answer I wanted, I tried everything they asked but it didnt work. </STRONG>

    You want an answer that is a fool-proof way to get into her pants?
    If those are her beliefs then YOU RESPECT THEM, otherwise you are not respecting her.
    If you can't handle that, you obviously aren't the right person for her.

    Kudos to your g/f she seems like a smart girl.

    [ 07-04-2002: Message edited by: Miss Q. ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Leave her, she don't deserve that no one does, you obviously don't love her if you think your relationship is dull just cos you aren’t getting any, sex is not that important in a relationship.
    Should not force someone into having sex before they want it. I would hate to be forced into it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if u guys havent noticed, after 2 years I would think that she trusted me, so thx for the non-existant advice
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you blind? We gave you advice!

    Perhaps she doesn't trust you because you're only looking to get into her knickers and don't give two hoots about her feelings.

    Or, maybe she does trust you! Maybe she trusts you not to go off whining to a bunch of strangers on a message board because she won't go down on you or have sex with you! Perhps she trusts you to bring up any problems you have with her!

    Or, as she doesn't believe in sex before marriage it has nothing to do with trust - it is her belief. Learn to live with it or bugger off out of her life. Tell her to visit this site and read your messages and she'll realise you're better off without her. <IMG SRC="mad.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sincerely hopes she sticks to her guns.
    Really, I do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No one said there was anything wrong with wanting a shag - cos there ain't, it's just not gonna happen with this girl.
    Go find someone else if that's what you want, but it's just not fair to try pressurising her into it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree that if after 2 years you ain't got nowhere then maybe it is for the best that you should split up. it might be hard to do but its seems as though you aren't happy. you don't want to be stuck somewhere your not happy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For a first I agree with the girls on this one!!!

    *shivers with the thought*

    The girl has got her beliefs and she wants to stick with them, then let her do so!!! Just because you want to "empty your sacks" doesnt mean she has to do it, britney spears is the exact same, maybe thats why justin dumped her because he didnt want to wait??!?!?!?!?

    Or maybe its the fact that this is the only girl that has shown any interest in you and if you do dump her then you know that it will be a struggle to get another girlfriend, cos your an ugly wee self centered dick??!?!? Maybe thats why you wont accept what we are saying!!!!

    If its not the case then why dont you finish it ,LIKE AN ADULT, and go and find another female companion that will accept to have sex and whatever with you!! My motto is there is plenty of fish in the sea, its up to you which catch you want!!

    Personally I think its because this is the first lady friend you have really had!!!! Get a life and stop thinking about yourself for a change!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you're all being a bit hard on him.

    I think for showing support and commitment for two years you can safely say he wasn't just after an "easy shag".

    Maybe he's just sexually frustrated at the moment and that's what is on his mind the most.

    I do agree with the others though, you shouldnt pressure her and you should wait..All you can do is talk to her and wait, if you dont think your relationship is worth that then get out of it, dont mess her about and stay with her because you're waiting just for that big prize at the end.

    I have very mixed feelings about these posts but I do think some of you were VERY over the top..

    If someone shouts some abuse at you and calls you a dick do you listen to them and learn? No..Think about it.

    Just take your time anyway mate and take a few cold showers <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Phil.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My credit to cheese on toast <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> A very comprehensive and thought provoking post. Makes a nice change from someone who hasn't been around long. And I totally agree
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am I the only one concerned by the fact she used the word 'dirty'? This isn't just about pre-marital sex, it concerns her attitudes to sex itself too. Chances are that even after marriage she will be unwilling to experiment or do anything much more than her 'marital duties' in the bedroom.

    Perhaps that still appeals, but for me that's a huge demerit. Where her attitudes come from is irrelevant, the fact is that she has an attitude towards sex that trust and a 2-year relationship hasn't shaken.

    Many say you should ditch her. I agree. The difference is that I think you can do, (and deserve), so much better than her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was going out with my girlfriend for two years until she broke-up with me out-of-the-blue. She asked me last year when I started at university if going into university bothered me because I was a virgin. I said that unless she was going out with someone else that I had to compete with to prove I loved her the most, than it din't bother me because I knew we'd be together for a long time (that came at 6 months for us), and if it was or wasn't to happen than that's what was meant to be. We were both virgins and we never had sex...and because of the way things worked out, I'm actually glad I din't! Wouldn't have made the break-up any easier, that's for sure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally think after 2 years most people would expect something so u cant hjave a go at hi for not respectin her wishes but then again i dont tink he shud push her into anything she dont wanna do... if u love her enough wait.... if not you shuld end it!


    Love
    Lil' Devil
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by CheeseOnToast:
    <STRONG>
    If someone shouts some abuse at you and calls you a dick do you listen to them and learn? No..Think about it.</STRONG>

    Erm, yes, quite......
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Gems:
    <STRONG>My credit to cheese on toast <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> A very comprehensive and thought provoking post. Makes a nice change from someone who hasn't been around long. And I totally agree</STRONG>

    so do i think what he said was spot on
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jesus christ,

    what a pathetic lot of little girls.
    'Respect her feelings, blah blah'
    Like most of the people have said HE HAS BEEN WITH HER 2 YEARS...
    I think you have been watching a little too much Trisha
    You think the dude doesnt give a shit after 2 years?..work it out!
    I think he's more than entitled to wanna get a bit that a kiss every now and then after 2 years, in fact I think its out of order for HER not to respect his wishes and do a little more than kissing, you dont have to have sex after all.
    if she just flatly refuses to compromise when he asks for a little more closeness etc, then she is being out of order,
    You waited 2 years old son, fair enough stay with her if you love her, but if shes being lame and wont even compormise, let it go

    oh, and yeah, im waiting for the responses, hit me with it....!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jesus christ,

    what a pathetic lot of little girls.
    'Respect her feelings, blah blah'
    Like most of the people have said HE HAS BEEN WITH HER 2 YEARS...
    I think you have been watching a little too much Trisha
    You think the dude doesnt give a shit after 2 years?..work it out!
    I think he's more than entitled to wanna get a bit that a kiss every now and then after 2 years, in fact I think its out of order for HER not to respect his wishes and do a little more than kissing, you dont have to have sex after all.
    if she just flatly refuses to compromise when he asks for a little more closeness etc, then she is being out of order,
    You waited 2 years old son, fair enough stay with her if you love her, but if shes being lame and wont even compormise, let it go

    oh, and yeah, im waiting for the responses, hit me with it....!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh he's entitled is he so because they have been togtehr that long it automaticlaly means they have to shag errrrrrrr no.
    He was decent enough to stick around yes, but if he wnats more he shouldnt pressurise her into something she doesnt wnat to if he cnat take that then he will have to find some one else that wants the smae things as him <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> but she should certanly not disrespect her beliefs just because they have been togther a while.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dear oh dear, you really are living in a dream world arent you!?!!...
    He never said he was gonna force himself on her did he.
    Read the post, it says they've been together for 2 years and she thinks oral is dirty, and doesnt want to have sex. Thats fair enough, and prob a good idea, but to flatly refuse to do anything at all sexual, just cos she thinks its dirty is a little immature and unfair to her boyfriend who has clearly talked to her about it and gone about it the right way.
    You're just blatently stuck on this 'The girl is always right' bollocks and try to make him sound a bastard for telling her he wants to sleep with her, or do anything at all, i think thats OK, at least the lad chats about it to her rather than forcing himself on her...

    Wake up woman, this isnt the Jerry springer world half the people on this site seem to think it is!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    who removed my balls?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and no im not stuck on the women is always right its just that she has the choice to decide wether she has sex/oral sex and she wnats to wait then that is her perogative to do so. She has every right to stick by her beliefs.
    The only problem is that she may see sex as dirty this is probably because it is frowned upon in her family and during her upbringing but even if he can persuade her otherwise doesnt mean she has to part take in it.
    This guy seems a good'un and im not doubting that,to stick by some one two years takes a lot and so he must love her so he must have know her wishes from an early age and he knew what he was getting into so he should continue to respect that.
    Who knows they may decide they want to try it and findthey bothlike it but she may also no eitehr way is fine.
    So there is no need for you to shout your mouth off all of the people her are only trying to help and are all giving their opnions some you may agree with, some you may not, thats your choice so dont go slagging people down.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx deeby, u jus saved me saying the same thing.
    There's nothing wrong with her standing up for what she believes, whether it's about sex or something else.
    He's done the right thing to talk to her, but maybe he's got to decide whether he wants the relationship to carry on, or if he wants to break up with her because of what she believes. But i must add, personally i don't think he should feel ashamed of that because people often break up because they have differen't view on stuff. What you can't do, is try to persuade her to have sex. But keep talking to her about it and i'm sure you'll find a solution.
    xxx <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh dear, you sad little girls.

    Wake up, i bet you are both about 12!...
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