Went Back to Counselling

Former Member

Well i went back to counselling!
Thought it best that i should go back and talk to my counseller about the 'off the cuff' comment that she said to me at the end of our last session.

I said to her that what she had said really pissed me off, made me feel like the last seven sessions where pointless, and made me seriously consider not going back to counselling.

Being a counseller her reply was WHY?.
Now this did piss me off, coz i didnt want to be physco analized i wanted an explanation after stewing over this for a week and being arsed to go back.
So i said to her 'if you were in my position that your partner had just died you have just gone through 4 week's of absolute hell packing the flat and putting my whole world into storage you were just about to hand the keys back to the flat and your counseller say's to you at the end of your session 'i dont think you dealing with thing's emotionally' dont you think you think you would be left feeling robbed of one of the little thing's that you thought you were doing good for yourself.

She then replyed with 'well this has obviously upset you quite a bit'

At this point i was really ready to fly off the handle i didnt know whether to throttle her or burst out crying.
So i tryed calming myself down and explained to her that in my eyes having moved out of the flat was a really 'emotional' thing and explained that having now moved out that i though i was 'dealing' with it. Wrong again acording to her she still see this as Practical.

Am i going nuts....i know that ive had quite a few reply's already to my previous thread but what do you think??
Coz in my eye's moving out of the flat was hard as hell mentally physically and EMOTIONALLY. If i thought that i'd moved out of our flat and had been cold enough to not feel any sadness and pain and lonelyness then i doubt that i'd even be posting this coz in theory that would just mean i didnt give a shit about him at all.

So do you think im just being practical??

Former Member

Not sure why no-one has replied to this, its pretty old but hey. I hope that you are coping ok and was sorry to here of your loss. I read your other thread too but felt "underqualified" to comment on it. Not that I'm exactly the best person to offer an opinion on this thread either. I know that this isn't nearly as bad as losing your partner who you obviously loved very much but a few (6) years ago I lost a school friend she was hit by a transit van outside school on her way home one day. Basically as I was pretty upset and had witnessed the accident I was one of the many who went to see a counsillor that school had got in. I found the group sessions good as a lot of that was talking with others about happy memories of Dani (the girl who died). But after them it was reccommended that I had individual sessions too. I only had one tho as I felt really awkward and "on the spot". The counsillor asked me how I felt and when I said that on this ocassion I was feeling "angry" she replied "and what does 'angry' feel like?" It seems like counsillors often ask really stupid questions. Reading this probably hasn't helped you in the slightest. Sorry.

Former Member

Originally posted by randomgirl
It seems like counsillors often ask really stupid questions.

You may think that, but they have their reasons. They want you to analyze what you are feeling and why you feel it, becuase it's not all on a single level.

Bereavement is a big issue, for sure, but the effects will go deeper than you realise and will affect you in many ways that you won't initially realise.

Stick with it, it becomes clearer eventually, but if you block what they are trying to do you won't achieve anything...

Instead of getting angry with her, why not just answer the questions honestly...?

Former Member

I think you should change counsellors if you really dont like the one youre seeing. Some people you just wont click with, and theres no point carrying on with her if you feel like that. ask if you can be referred to someone else.