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some help please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
last night my boyfriend ended and i dont know what to do im totally gutted and have never been in this situation before, i am sitting at work and just want to cry we have been to together since christmas and he says that we just arent going to work he says he loves me but we just dont get on well enough how do i deal with this situation? please help

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*

    How did you even make it into work?
    I think you need to demand a fuller explanation - he owes you that much, then you might be able to begin to accept the situation and start to get over it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's OK for you to be sad and upset, It meant (means) something to you, so theres no point anyone telling you that it'll get better over time cos right now you are feeling hurt and for sure your self esteem has taken a battering.

    My advice...talk to people, talk to your friends..Don't keep in how upset this is making you. Try to use this weekend getting yourself together and thinking about the reasons he gave you for splitting.

    It may not be as simple as you changing to try and get him to go back out with you..if he has made up his mind you need to remain dignified and hold yourself together. Certainly don't try to call him and see him, you're better off being cool about the situation. Basically, in my experience, the more you make a fuss the less likely it is that he will re-consider his decision..
    And who knows..if you do work on your self esteem adn your life outside your relationship tou may find someone much nicer out there who won't mess you about.

    Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your advice i feel totally lost and 100% heart broken, all i want to do is call him and beg him to tkae me back but i know he is the sort of bloke that would respect me more for being strong. He is so stubborna nd strongwilled that i know no matter what he feels he wont call me male pride and all that,

    he is totally ruled by his head not his heart which isnt always bad but in this case i just wish he would look back and see that we are good together

    he says he cant trust me so i suppose he has got a good reason to break up with me but he hasnt got any reason to not trust me i have never done anything to make him think anything hut that i love him i just dont egt why if you love someone you cant be with them

    maybe theres someone else but hes not that sort of bloke hes loyal and i honestly dont think he would ever do anything like that its just not fair!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really feel for you. I know your instinct is to phone and beg him to come back and your head tells you to remain cool and not to seem desparate.
    You have to remember that even if you are cool and strong about the situation he may still not want to get back together.

    Sounds to me like there is something else he isn't telling you...how can he say he doesn't trust you if you have never done anything to break his trust. Perhaps it's him you shouldn't trust? Perhaps he doesn't trust himself??

    It is not a very nice thought, and possibly not the case, but it does sound like he's made the decision to break up but tried to put the blame on you (I don't trust you) which is quite mean.

    I'd never want to say to anyone you are better off with out him but hopefully if things don't work out you will become a stronger confident woman who can spot the gits out there?

    I hope you are able to work this out with your man, as you obvioulsy still care for him but if he refuses to see you as his partner don't give up on a possible future with someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww you poor thing, I really feel for you, but the only advise I can offer is to be strong, make sure you have alot of friends around you and try and enjoy single life. it will be really hard as you still love him so much but if it wasn't meant to be theres not alot you can do unfortunately! Be strong ok ;):)
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