Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

do i have a problem why do i do this evry time

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok i have a major crush on a girl @ school i think its love its like nufin ive eva felt b4 i mean ive fancied people but this is difrent
here cums the but, but ive dun what i always do when i like a girl ive put her on a pedastal. call me old fasioned but i like 2 see girls treated properly and i respect them greatly and when i like girls i worship them with reverance the problem wiv this is that i value them so much and myself so little that putting them on a pedastal puts them way out of my reach.

i then proceed to get cut up about it and put myself in a worse position also i cant talk 2 girls like uva guys do i seem 2 be incapable of flirting wiv the girl i fancy (im bad @ telling them face 2 face so i try and let them work it out) is their sumfin wrong wiv me? help advice please

:(

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wouldn't think there's anything wrong with you. its sweet how you put someone else before yourself, but what is it you want from this girl you like. im not talking about sex but do you want to get to know her or just keep watching her as she gets on with life. If you want to get to know her talk to her like you would anyone else. she's still human too and just be yourself!
    hope it helped! :)
    luv xax
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems like you're lacking self confidence. Why? You sound like a really nice person, and I'm sure if you make an effort to chat to this girl she'll like you too. It's really sweet that you like to treat girls properly, and I'm sure she'll appreciate that if you get to know her, but don't get too old fashioned about it. All you've got to do is chat to her casually and get to her, then if you still like her and she likes you, you can ask her out. Easy! :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't put her on a pedestal. It's too much to live up to all the time and it really hurts when one falls off. My husband learned that being treated well makes me very happy but I like both feet on solid ground and don't like to be put in a position where I feel I always have to shine.

    Just treat this girl with respect and you'll do fine.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The reason you can't talk to girls like "uva" guys is because you seem to announce your presence with all the eloquence of an oaf.

    Yes, you're old fashioned. It's one thing trying to treat them properly, it's a completely different thing worshipping them. This will scare them off. Treat them like a normal human being whom you respect greatly.

    And, yes, everything's wrong with you, you're a bloody pubescent teenager, thus making you totally and utterly different from everyone else.

    Or not. You're normal kid, don't cut yourself up about it. But for god's sake, learn to write and talk properly.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we should start a support group, I have exactly the same problem. It boils down to this:
    Rather than just fancying them casually, we fall head over heels in love with them.

    The problem is self-esteem and self-respect, we don't think we have what it takes to just ask them out cos if they say no that's it.
    But we think (maybe wrongly) that if we cherish them, adore them, cash barnados cheques in their name, that they will love us and say yes when we ask them out whether they already fancy us or not.

    The reason why you might find it hard, like me, to talk to her is you are so self conscious you think any mistake could put her off forever. You have to take a leap of blind faith, but the truth is the cherishment instincts don't really go away, you just need to be like a sniper.

    I say be like a sniper, because (although this sounds incredibly sad) when they look through the scope, they see that persons face. They know that person has a mother, a father, maybe is married, and has lots of friends. They just have to detatch themselves and pull the trigger.

    Less thinking - more action. That's got to be the only solution. Even though i'm crap at taking advice and probably aint gonna change my ways, hopefully you can save yourself before its too late.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx guys that kinda helps and turtle ure losin ure edge man u used 2 b much meaner whats up? i can totaly relate with what theshyboyinthecorner said its as if hed been stalkin me all my life or sumthin ill TRY 2 listen 2 ure advice and i do treat her normally outside its inside thats different thanx again:)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    we should start a support group, I have exactly the same problem. It boils down to this:
    Rather than just fancying them casually, we fall head over heels in love with them.


    Yeah I know the feeling, it's not just you boys, girls are just the same, worse if anything. At least boys are known for being good at concealing their feelings. I just end up folowing my heart and end up right in the deep end. Oh well, I'll put down to a)raging hormones and b)raging emotions as I've just broken up with my bf, the only love of my life. Life can be such a bitch, can't it?

    Totallyoutofit, just try and make friends with the girl/s you fancy, you'll feel a lot more relaxed with them and you never know, they may start to fancy you too when they get to know you a bit better.
Sign In or Register to comment.