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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm feeling crap. Absolutely crap. Those voices have gone away for months. I thought they'd stopped tormenting me with their horrible messages. Seems not. They're back with a vengeance today - and it's showing already. :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Slipped up again. I really can't do this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I'm feeling crap. Absolutely crap. Those voices have gone away for months. I thought they'd stopped tormenting me with their horrible messages. Seems not. They're back with a vengeance today - and it's showing already. :crying:

    Is there any reason why they could have come back? Change in meds? The stress of starting uni? You've beaten this before, dont let it drag you down. I'm here if you want some support, okay? I mean it as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there any reason why they could have come back? Change in meds? The stress of starting uni? You've beaten this before, dont let it drag you down. I'm here if you want some support, okay? I mean it as well.
    There's been no change in medication for months, and I don't foresee there being one soon. As for uni, I'm somewhat indifferent at the moment. Accommodation is still being sorted, and that's going to prove a real headache when the bill comes. I reckon one reason might be me splitting from my girlfriend. I'd caught her cheating on me, so I dumped her straight away. Still feel low about it, though...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's been some setbacks for my uni plans, and feeling dreadful about it. I'm sorry. :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talking about uni. I don't even know if I want to go yet. And in a months time my application will be sent off. Fucking hell. I want to go, I'm just worried about the money. Amongst other things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im sorry for this, this was written back when I had issues.

    I apologise and feel much better :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    There's been some setbacks for my uni plans, and feeling dreadful about it. I'm sorry. :crying:

    Whatever you do dont let this put you off going to uni. You have worked pretty hard to get yourself there and you will regret it deeply if you dont go.

    Kirsty - What are you worried about exactley, money (yes fees etc are going to cost a lot due to the new rules), living away from home? There is a lot of support available.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in a shithole of black shite again. I hate my job, dont have any local friends and all I want to do is drink or cut to numb my pain. I have yet again systimatically burnt my fucking bridges. :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not meaning to sound patronising SG but they're only setbacks, you can overcome them. stick at it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kirsty - What are you worried about exactley, money (yes fees etc are going to cost a lot due to the new rules), living away from home? There is a lot of support available.

    I'm worried about the money, I'm living at home whilst at uni hopefully, and commuting everyday- as is only a 45min drive roughly. I'm trying to save up for uni, but it feels like it's too late, as a year today i'll be thinking about going.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ahh you don't need to save! i didn't!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People have said that, but I want to move out of my parents house ASAP when I finish uni with my boyf, so need too really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Relax. If you spend you're life worrying about money you'll never have any fun. Who says you'll still have the same B/f when you graduate? You might find he's not suited for who you'll be then. People change a lot at uni. Don't plan for something that's not certain.

    Go to uni, have fun, don't stress yourself out with minor issues like having 18 grand of debt. Seriously.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For once, this isn't a post about how miserable I am (shocking, huh). I'm worried, severely worried in fact, about somebody else in my group of friends.

    I discovered on Sunday that she cut herself for the first time recently, and although she said she got that sense of strange pleasure from it, she said she wouldn't do it again, and that she was sure of it. So I left it, thinking it would be ok, because she's relatively sensible in that respect. Obviously I had my worries about that whole addictive side to it, but I thought "no, it'll be fine" in my rational mind.

    She was picking at the scab today, and from the little I could see, it looked REALLY bad. Worse than any I've ever seen, and certainly worse than I've ever done myself.

    She just came on MSN and told me she did it again. At college, this afternoon. Now I don't know what to say to her. Telling her to stop would seem so hypocritical, even though I know she doesn't really like that she's doing it. I don't want to patronise her, and I don't want to make her feel worse than she already does (which, let's be honest, is pretty fucking bad). She says it's just when she's on her own (and when she's around her family, it seems, as they aren't very pro-her atm), and that scares me cause that's pretty much what I'm like. She doesn't want to talk to anyone professional, I know that much, because of things that have happened in her past, and not wanting to get her family involved, but I don't know what else to suggest to her. I'm trying to support her, and stuff, but it's hard, and (I don't mean to sound selfish, cause it's how I feel, but meh) I have so much stuff of my own to concentrate on right now. I'm in my third year of college, if I fuck up this year then I'm pretty much in the shit for good, and I don't know if I'll be able to support her as much as she needs in the meantime.

    I just don't know what to do :(.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounding hypocritical is not important. What is important is saying what's right. The fact you can't do it yourself is incidental, especially as you yourself are trying to stop, that you try and fail means that she knows you understand her. What you need, and she needs, is help. You need to find a third person to help you both.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres nothing you can do.

    As you may well know, I had a friend a few years back with SERIOUS problems with self harm (to the extent she was in hospital several times a week being stitched up).

    There was nothing I could do. Like you, I'd be a hypocrite to tell her what she was doing was wrong. All I could do is be there for her. All you can do is be a friend to her.

    What is important though, as fiend85 has said, this girl needs to find a way of venting her feelings in other ways. Have you suggested any?

    All you can do, is be there for her tbh. Like fiend85 has said, your friend needs help if she cannot vent her feelings in other ways and its becoming a serious problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe suggest giving her a helpline maybe? Don't really know what else to suggest otherwise. I've added a really good website that really is fantastic if anyone wants it, it's more or less all about harming- but has a board, and also chat rooms, as well as mods who not only mod the room- but are able to give advice to anyone needing it. I owe a lot to them and their articles :)

    If anyone wants the address for it:
    http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooo thats a great link actually.

    I've been using that website for years. The forums are pretty good too.

    There was a documentry on channel4 about this website (it was a program about self harm). Was proper weird seeing some of the people I talk to on tv!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For the record, I don't understand you people saying that sounding like a hypocrite is a reason to not help someone. You can tell your friends that SH what they are doing is wrong. Fact. It makes no difference that you are finding it hard to stop yourself the only point where you become hypocritical is when you say something you believe to be untrue, not that you say something that is incredibly hard to do.

    Frankly, that seems like a massive cop-out to me, but maybe I shouldn't be surprised.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    For the record, I don't understand you people saying that sounding like a hypocrite is a reason to not help someone. You can tell your friends that SH what they are doing is wrong. Fact. It makes no difference that you are finding it hard to stop yourself the only point where you become hypocritical is when you say something you believe to be untrue, not that you say something that is incredibly hard to do.

    Frankly, that seems like a massive cop-out to me, but maybe I shouldn't be surprised.


    I agree with this.

    Telling people who are self harming that they need help when you are in a similar situation, I don't believe, is hypocritical.

    It is hard to accept support even though you know it is the right thing to do and, IMHO, you would be a bad friend if you just told her to keep cutting herself to fuck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooo thats a great link actually.

    I've been using that website for years. The forums are pretty good too.

    There was a documentry on channel4 about this website (it was a program about self harm). Was proper weird seeing some of the people I talk to on tv!!!
    Yeah, I remember the tv programme about it too, there was also a series on Channel 4 not lot a go called 'the cutting club' or something similar, which was quite good too. It was really interesting.

    Also, I agree with littlemissy with what she said at the end of her post, can't really add anything else to it tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    , you would be a bad friend if you just told her to keep cutting herself to fuck.

    That isn't what I said though is it.

    I said that I would be a hypocrite to tell her what she was doing was wrong if I was doing it myself.That doesn't mean I went telling my friend though that what she was doing was a good thing. I never went up to her and told her to keep cutting herself to fuck! I was just there for her as a friend and supported her. When I did ever try to tell her what she was doing was wrong, she just looked at me as to say "you hypocrite"

    I tried to help her but to be honest, she wouldn't really accept it.

    I would never ever tell someone it was ok to self harm, EVER. All I've ever done for friends who self harm is try to persuade them not to hurt themselves and be there for them. I've tried to persuade them to get help. In certain situations though, they don't listen as I come across as a hypocrite. I just try my best to be there for them as a friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's her problem, not yours. Can't you see past it? Are you really so blind as to not see the difference between saying that it's ok for me but bad for you and saying it's bad for me and I can't stop, it's bad for you too?

    Like I said, cop out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry for interrupting (incidentally, I agree with Fiend_85 on this, you should always try to help people - if they see it as hypocritical it's because they're choosing to deflect their problems on to you and not face them).

    I'm really worried, I've been suffering from depression for years and recently I keep tryign to kill myself. I've tried to strangle myself twice since Wednesday night and yesterday it got so bad I blacked out. I'm scared but I'm scared to tell my therapist because I don't want to ahve to go and see a psychiatrist / take medication / be threatened with hospital again.

    I'm not even sure how seriously to take all this, it just feels like a bad dream. I really don't want to be on my own at the moment but I am and I have to be because no one is around. I'm scared.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MissPiggy wrote:
    I'm really worried, I've been suffering from depression for years and recently I keep tryign to kill myself. I've tried to strangle myself twice since Wednesday night and yesterday it got so bad I blacked out. I'm scared but I'm scared to tell my therapist because I don't want to ahve to go and see a psychiatrist / take medication / be threatened with hospital again.

    I'm not even sure how seriously to take all this, it just feels like a bad dream. I really don't want to be on my own at the moment but I am and I have to be because no one is around. I'm scared.
    I would take it seriously. It's understandable you're scared. When I was feeling suicidal- it felt horrible, and I really was scared.

    Tell your therapist.

    You say that you're scared, worried, but then you also say that you don't want to see a psychiartrist/take meds/be threatened with hospital. So what do YOU want to do to get yourself better? You don't have to answer that question here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, as for being alone- there are people around. Can you try and get someone to come around? Or can you visit someone? If not, how about calling a helpline, or going on a supportive internet site/chat room with depression in mind? If you have msn, and want someone to talk to- PM me, and I'll give you my msn address.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What on earth did I do wrong for this to happen?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why does it have to be a result of something you've done? Sometimes shit just happens K. We just have to deal with it as best we can...
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Kermit wrote:
    What on earth did I do wrong for this to happen?

    Probably nothing.

    Sometimes shit is just thrown into our faces yet again and test our limits. Just when things are going really well something always comes up to remind you of bad times / weaknesses.

    Hope you're ok.
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