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Friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Should friends always be there for each other?
Should you feel a nuisance ringing a friend just to talk?
Should you see your friends regularly?

Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without any form of sexual chemistry getting in the way?

These are just a few questions I have been pondering in the last few days and would like some opinions on the matter.

What qualities should a best friend have?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For me a friend has to be someone you can talk to easily and who you can have a good old laugh with. Someone you have things in common with. You dont have to see them often for them to be a good friend. The main thing is that they are there for you when you are feeling down :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Friends to me should always be there for each other, it doesent matter what it is but just to be there.
    You certainly shouldnt feel a nuicance for just a chat, thats what friends are for. Id be lost without my phone just ringing my friend to say hello.
    Seeing friends reguarly well that depends on the distance, I personally only have friends who are close to me so I see them all the time, but if say my friend moved away we would probs just phone each other, I dont think id have to see her all the time.
    I have male friends, just as friends but its different from my friends who are girls. I wouldnt tell my male friends the stuff I tell my Girl friends. To me its a totally different friendship.
    a good friend to me is like having a sister, shes part of my family. Id like to think that either one of us could say and do anything without them judging. I also think a good friend should be able to tell me lets say " That dress just doesent look right on you " and know that shes telling me that because it does not look right, not because shes jealous of how I look and stuff like that.

    My friend is brilliant, we see each other about 5 times a week, have a good laugh together and basically id be lost without her:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Friends
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Should friends always be there for each other?

    A friend should be there if needed, but a friend does not hold it against another friend if that friend is not there one time. It might not always be possible. You can't expect someone to give you 24 hrs of their day.


    Should you feel a nuisance ringing a friend just to talk?


    No

    Should you see your friends regularly?

    If you can, but if you can't, that shouldn't be an issue.

    Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without any form of sexual chemistry getting in the way?

    If you're really lucky, maybe.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    friends should always be there for eachother, best friends at least, it should never be a bother to call them. i spend every single day with my fiends and if there is one day when i don't i feel very odd, (its going to be weird next year when we all move our seperate ways) hell i'm so close with my 2 best friends families that in one i'm in her brothers and her mothers wedding, her other brother and their friends are super close to me as well as her, i am pretty much a part of their families. friends are the best thing anybody could ever have, even if you have only 1 friend, if it is a true friend, there is no reason to ever get sad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Friends
    Originally posted by Mist


    A friend should be there if needed, but a friend does not hold it against another friend if that friend is not there one time. It might not always be possible. You can't expect someone to give you 24 hrs of their day.

    I agree to an extent, but speaking from my own point of view if my friend needed me then if at all possible id be ther like a shot, but obviously thats when its something major, not just say to go shopping or sommat. If my friend needed me and I couldnt be there then she would know that I just couldnt be there, and wouldnt hold it against me, and likewise the other way round.
    This is the difference between a friend and a very good friend, thats to me anyway. I do have friends but I also have very good friend:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Friends
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo


    I agree to an extent, but speaking from my own point of view if my friend needed me then if at all possible id be ther like a shot, but obviously thats when its something major, not just say to go shopping or sommat.

    Er, that's what I said though, so it looks like you agree with me entirely. :p

    The reason I said you shouldn't expect someone to give you 24hrs is because some people seem to think that a friendship involves being in touch constantly with someone, always in their face. It doesn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Friends

    Lol Sorry I mistook the 24hr bit:)

    That will teach me to read properly wont it;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Friends
    Should friends always be there for each other?

    I think so, yes. If you need someone, and they're not there; what kind of friend is that? But if you can't be there for your friend, then I don't think that guilt should be a factor within the friendship. I would hope to always be there for my friends, and I know that my closest friends would always be there for me if I were to need them.
    Should you feel a nuisance ringing a friend just to talk?
    Should you see your friends regularly?

    I don't know. I think that's up to you, and what you know. If, let's say, you *know* that your friend is busy, or has an essay crisis, or something like that, and then ring; would you feel guilty? Yes, I think I would. If I didn't know, and my friend wasn't busy, then, no, I would not feel a nuisance at all.

    As for seeing your friends, I suppose it depends how close you are. I have a best friend who I've known for eight years, and we don't actually have to see each other to pick it up perfectly when we meet up again. Other friends I like to keep up with more regularly. So, it depends.
    Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without any form of sexual chemistry getting in the way?

    Yes. I have close friends of the opposite sex, and I don't think it's ever been an issue.
    What qualities should a best friend have?

    You can judge a man by the company he keeps. So your best friend will probably reflect your own qualities, your own ideas, and everything. If you find this best friend, then you do click, and notice it. I know my friend well, I know his moods and everything. I also would willingly give my life for his in a heartbeat. I would suggest that he would probably do the same.

    There, was that confusing?

    Edited for html corrections. Because I'm a klutz
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me+my ex-friend had an argument on thesite, that was a few days ago, it's still there in anything goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think a friedn is some one u can talk to and some one who listens to ur problems and some one who u can just hang about with and have a laugh with.
    and as for the girl and boy thing yes u can be mates coz a lot of my best mates are ladz and nothing goes on between us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Silverberg
    Me+my ex-friend had an argument on thesite, that was a few days ago, it's still there in anything goes.
    So?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Should friends always be there for each other?
    Not as such, I personally try to be there for my friends as best as I can, but I can't give 24 hours of my time. Same for them; I wouldn't expect them to drop everything for me.

    Should you feel a nuisance ringing a friend just to talk?
    Erm, personally I don't, seeing as it's a teenage girl 'thing' to do that :p They ring me just to chat, and vice versa.

    Should you see your friends regularly?
    You can, but it shouldn't affect your friendship if you don't.

    Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without any form of sexual chemistry getting in the way?
    You can, I am very good mates with two males, and there is NO chemistry. However, other people view mixed sex friendships as always having some kind of 'tension'; and myself and my best boy friend have to cope with lots of remarks on this basis. We just shut everyone up by mocking them-we instantly start play fighting and being all huggy, lol.

    What qualities should a best friend have?
    You should know that they have your back no matter what. They can make you smile no matter what the matter is. Your friends mirror who you are, so they should be wonderful people ;) But most of all, they should love you for who you are-faults, good points, flaws, physical imperfections, the lot.

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree about the giving your life for a friend. I would do that for a close friend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Silverberg
    Me+my ex-friend had an argument on thesite, that was a few days ago, it's still there in anything goes.
    That was stupid wasn't it? I read it and it was incredibly juvenile. Still, you made your mark....:rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have different friends for different moods and different days. I have 3 friends I'd say I could trust 99.9% The reason I don't say 100% is because one of my ex friends of whom I had known since 5, fucked me over big style and I thought I trusted her 100% at the time, so now I have slight caution.

    I have many aqaintances and some good friends too, but the 3 best friends are there for me whatever happens. I can call them any time of the day in any situation and I guarantee they will come running over to help me or sort my head out.

    One of my friends has seen me in the worst possible states and has the ability to calm me down and make me laugh every time. She will listen to me moaning for hours on end and vice versa. I actually have love for this girl :D

    The other two are like stars - You don't always see them but you know they are there.

    Without friends I'm nothing...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, i have one best friend and lots of really close friends so if i have a problem, i talk to one of them. i mean, there's a lot that i haven't told my best friend as she wouldn't understand, yet, i've turned around and told one of my male friends.

    tis weird :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by welsh_mosher
    there's a lot that i haven't told my best friend as she wouldn't understand, yet, i've turned around and told one of my male friends.tis weird :rolleyes:
    :chin:

    It isn't weird, actually-I do that too. There are some subjects which I feel more comfortable discussing with my best male friend rather than my best girlfriends. I have the added bonus that he doesn't go to my school and can keep a secret very well, so I know I won't be used as fodder for the gossip machine at school the day after I pour my heart out. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of my best friends are male. My female friends always let me down one way or another. Yes friends should always be there for each other. A friend should never judge you, always be there for you and be supportive in whatever situation. but they are very rare to acome across. I have now found mine in my sister in law which says something I think.

    Just a point though. If one of your friends turns round to you and sya " Do you mind if i stay friends with your ex", whom she's never realy spoken to other than on nights out when he's gone along would you find it suspicious. Considering that when you were with him she slaged you off no end to him, you caught the odd ICQ conversations when you first got together saying "Don't tell Karen but if i saw you on a night out I'd fancy you" and he's always quoted her like the perfect gf against me. Does that sound like a friend or am I being over sensative here? Just is bugging me at the moment. Oh she also knows I have cut all contact with him so nights out are going to be fun if she does.

    It's just bugging me at the moment because she was my best mate until I got with him and things have been going slowly wrong since. Now it doesn't bother me if she does get with him as long as I don't have to go anywhere near him, since I'm happy with my new fella and getting on with my life. Just seems strange to put a friendship on the line like that for someone you don't really know.:confused::confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Friends
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without any form of sexual chemistry getting in the way?

    Easy Peasy. But then as i'm gay maybe that helps:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OMG rubberskin ur gay? and i thought u were really cute aswell :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another dream shattered. Oh well:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by RubberSkin
    Another dream shattered. Oh well:D

    Cute, hilariously funny AND gay? No way..... ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kazbo

    Just a point though. If one of your friends turns round to you and sya " Do you mind if i stay friends with your ex", whom she's never realy spoken to other than on nights out when he's gone along would you find it suspicious. Considering that when you were with him she slaged you off no end to him, you caught the odd ICQ conversations when you first got together saying "Don't tell Karen but if i saw you on a night out I'd fancy you" and he's always quoted her like the perfect gf against me. Does that sound like a friend or am I being over sensative here? Just is bugging me at the moment. Oh she also knows I have cut all contact with him so nights out are going to be fun if she does.

    It's just bugging me at the moment because she was my best mate until I got with him and things have been going slowly wrong since. Now it doesn't bother me if she does get with him as long as I don't have to go anywhere near him, since I'm happy with my new fella and getting on with my life. Just seems strange to put a friendship on the line like that for someone you don't really know.:confused::confused:
    Yes, I would find this suspicious. Sounds like there's something going on there. OK, maybe nothing is going on, but from what you've said, from your point of view, yes, there is something.
    I could never believe an ex of mine when she stayed friends with her ex (before me). They used to argue all the time, and he used to upset her a lot, making her cry often. She gave me the impression that he was finishing his Uni course and would be living back in his hometown as soon as he had finished. Then, after I'd moved up here to be with her, it turns out he hadn't finished his course - he was coming back for his final year. Unbelievably she wanted to stay friends with him! There were frequent phone conversations, and she would often meet him for drinks, or even go up to his place for a meal, etc. It used to piss me off big time, but she would always put me down whenever I raised any objection "I can see whoever I want. He's a friend. I've always remained friends with ex's. Don't you trust me?" Of course any objection to these would, in her eyes, mean that I'm an overly jellous, untrusting, idiot. My mistake was that I was a trusting idiot. Though I've got no proof, I think something was still going on. :mad:
    Anyway, the point of that example is that it's soooo suspicious that it would amaze me if nothing is, or has, been going on between your friend and your ex.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Yes, I would find this suspicious. Sounds like there's something going on there. OK, maybe nothing is going on, but from what you've said, from your point of view, yes, there is something.
    I could never believe an ex of mine when she stayed friends with her ex (before me). They used to argue all the time, and he used to upset her a lot, making her cry often. She gave me the impression that he was finishing his Uni course and would be living back in his hometown as soon as he had finished. Then, after I'd moved up here to be with her, it turns out he hadn't finished his course - he was coming back for his final year. Unbelievably she wanted to stay friends with him! There were frequent phone conversations, and she would often meet him for drinks, or even go up to his place for a meal, etc. It used to piss me off big time, but she would always put me down whenever I raised any objection "I can see whoever I want. He's a friend. I've always remained friends with ex's. Don't you trust me?" Of course any objection to these would, in her eyes, mean that I'm an overly jellous, untrusting, idiot. My mistake was that I was a trusting idiot. Though I've got no proof, I think something was still going on. :mad:
    Anyway, the point of that example is that it's soooo suspicious that it would amaze me if nothing is, or has, been going on between your friend and your ex.

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    Thanks. Glad I'm not just overly suspicious.

    Just don't know what to do about it. Should I stay mates with her and hope for the best or just tell her where to go. i know she'll deny everything if I ask her about it cos she's that sort.:mad:
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