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why wont she say yes?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone,

after my recent failures (sp?) in the relationship department, ive gotten up the courage to ask a girl i've known for a while out...
she said she would love to go out with me but she cant because she's scared that she will hurt me.

things have happened in her past relationships (i.e. she's hurt a few people), but i dont care about that... but she just wont say yes because she's 100% certain it will happen again.

why is it that everytime i try to find a girl, i end up with stuff like this?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww, just reasure her she wont hurt you, or try 2. i dont really know, ope things work out, luv s_m_b x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel - it seems to be an affliction I have too. Some people find and go out with nice girls and are quite happy. Me? When I do find someone I like it usually turns out that they have relationship grey areas and they have been treated badly in the past. I wish I could say or make them believe I'm not going to or have no intention of hurting them but I don't think there is a magical cure.

    The best thing you can do is to take it slowly and earn her trust. Perhaps try to be her friend more than anything and see where it goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she probably will hurt you. You seem to get hurt by most things
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe if you give her a little bit more time to think about it? :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks so much rainbow, that really boosts my confidence.

    i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dai fychan


    i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(

    Not being nasty but she obviously knows something you dont. Give yourself some time to see if it happens or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm such a dozy bugger sometimes. I just realised my argument is aimed at the wrong person. I thought for some reason it was her afraid of being hurt. Sorry, my bad.:crazyeyes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dai fychan
    thanks so much rainbow, that really boosts my confidence.

    i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(

    i dont mean to put a downer on you dai, I think you seem a very sweet person, but you do seem to be very intense, and i imagine that would put some people off. you just need to lighten up a bit maybe.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: why wont she say yes?
    Originally posted by dai fychan
    Hi everyone,


    things have happened in her past relationships (i.e. she's hurt a few people), but i dont care about that... but she just wont say yes because she's 100% certain it will happen again.

    why is it that everytime i try to find a girl, i end up with stuff like this?

    You want to be thankful she aint messing you about, Id give her some credit for being honest.
    Would you really want to end up with someone who hurts people? No I dont think so because you deserve better than that:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you want to be hurt? You say why do you always get hurt as if you really do not like it. And then you are there trying to get someone to go out with you knowing they will let you down. why?

    Find someone you know will treat you right, or if it is you being too easily upset, learn to deal with things before getting into a relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The reason she doesn't want to go out with you has been made clear!

    You say you don't think she will hurt you yet she thinks she will. I'd go with her gut feeling if I were you because she knows her own mind.

    Perhaps she doesn't like you enough to not hurt you, or even better, perhaps she likes you so much that she is saving your feelings, in which case you should be flattered.

    If you like her as much as you say you do and don't care about the consequences then I really think you should have a chat alone with her and explain to her that you only live once, you need to take some risks in life in order to find true happiness.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And i couldnt agree more than with bumblebee!! Tell her to take a risk, but if you get together and she does hurt you-you cant say you were never warned! Maybe not havin a relationship with her is better than havin a broken one! That way you cant look back on it and think how badly your relationships go cause there never was one. You just gotta wait to meet someone and its usually when you least expect it!
    Goodluck anyway x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get her to give you a go and say that you are well aware of the past but surely thats where itll be.... lifes too short to not take chances and if it does go pearshaped, least you tried it and can learn from it! The worst phrase in the English language is ..... 'What if?' ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok everyone, shes settled on 'no' as her answer and theres no way her mind can be changed...

    thanks for your advice anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    she probably will hurt you. You seem to get hurt by most things
    Miaow Rainbow! :eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry:o
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    sorry:o
    Dai seems like a deep, sensitive soul.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's possible she doesn't fancy youand is letting you down gently.

    Just cos you fancy her doesn't mean she fancies you.

    Thats life baby!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he is deep and sensitive, but thats why he gets so hurt I think. I didnt mean what I said in a nasty way at all. I can be a bit blunt sometimes though unfortunatly. I think the problem with being so deep and sensitive is that it can put people off because it can put people under a lot of pressure. most relationships start off lighthearted and a bit of fun and then possibly develop into more, rather than being intense and deep straight away.
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