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can relationships survive infidelity?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just out of interest......

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
If so, how many times and was it with the same person (an 'affair')
Did your realtionship survive? Why? Was it because they forgave you or you didn't tell them.

If you ever did cheat, would you tell your partner?

Any other opinions on whether a relationship can survive?

I am just wondering because my boyfriend asked me these things last night and I really had to think hard about it! I think if one partner has a one night stand and the other doesn't find out, that a relationship can quite easily survive.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm...thats a tough one.

    I think it all depends on the circumstances (sp?) and how much you care for the other person as to whether the relationship would survive.

    I don't think i could forgive and forget if my boyfriend cheated on me. I woudn't be able to forget what he did, well, not for a VERY long time at least.

    I think that if your partner cheats on you it's a sign that they aren't happy with you/ your relationship so whats the point in trying to keep an already weak relationship together?

    But i sopose i wouldn't know what i would do unless i was actually in that situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    • Depends on the people
    • The actual situation
    • The state of the relationship in the first place
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cheated once on a gf, She wouldn't have found out but I still told her, I was eaten up with guilt. (All I had done was kiss this girl)

    She wanted to carry on as we were but I felt like I have ruined it and we both agreed to end it.

    Relationships can survive if one person cheat's, my Dad cheated on my Mum and she took him back, things seem quite good now.
    (That was few years ago now)

    If someone cheated on me I would want to know why, if there reason was justified and they were honest about it being a one of and a mistake, I might talk about carrying on the relationship.

    But you lose the trust and you need to start from the beginning in rebuilding it all. It maybe easier in case like them to just finish it and move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have never cheeted on a boyfriend. I dont think a relationship can survive infidelity because once everyone knows there is a lot of broken trust.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless

    Relationships can survive if one person cheat's, my Dad cheated on my Mum and she took him back, things seem quite good now.
    (That was few years ago now)


    Same here. They had like marriage counselling stuff an they seem even better than before now. I think that if both parties are willing to make the relationship better then it should work.

    I have cheated on boyfriends in the past. Sometimes i went months without telling them but in the end my conscience did win and i usually ended up single!

    I wouldnt do it now though. I've learnt that love is a special and rare feeling and shouldnt be thrown away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldnt forgive infidelity - no way, if he wanted someone else, then he cant have me too, and if i found out hed done that, i could never trust him again. I wouldnt expect him to forgive me if i did it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The way I view this sort of thing is to reverse perspectives. Would the person cheating on you like it if you did the same to them? I would think the majority of people would answer no to this and I include myself among them.

    Personally I would take it as an insult: they want someone else, not me and besides that, if the act of being unfaithful isn't admitted by them but by someone else say, then trust is being tested as well.

    Basically, being unfaithful = unforgivable - worse if it's (or was) a strong relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one thing i can notttttt stand is people who cheat on their partner and say they still love them. they are wankers/cows u shouldnt do it FULLSTOP if you are commited to someone, how can people can live iwith that in their head i dont know.:mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cheated on my ex once, and it was just a drunken snog with my boss, but I regretted it so much. Our relationship was a mess anyway, so I think that had a lot to do with it.

    Lately, I seem to always be the other woman now though - not the type that men want to commit to. :confused:

    I don't put up with it anymore though. Either they want to be with me and commit - or not.

    :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by foxyroxy
    one thing i can notttttt stand is people who cheat on their partner and say they still love them. they are wankers/cows u shouldnt do it FULLSTOP if you are commited to someone, how can people can live iwith that in their head i dont know.:mad:
    I used to think like you did. Basically you have to wait until either you or a friend is in the same situation and then judge. You can only *assume* your reaction and trust me it could turn out to be wrong!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :eek2:
    Infidelity happens in every part of the world.
    But sometimes you can't control you heart. Sometimes you found the person You're looking for later...I found a man who should be my partner in the rest of my life but he married first.
    What can i do?
    :lol:
    Sometimes i want to live my life without him but he calls me, ask me to travel to him (yeah we work together), and said that I can't wear some kind of clothes- they are forbideen...
    But he did a great party in my birthday date and all the time that it's free for him we spent together.

    YEAH I Know it's not right but life doesn't give us a chance before to meet each other...

    And now I have to live my life and wait right now for a contact...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you ever cheated on a partner? Yes..in fact I have never been 100% faithful, whoops.

    If so, how many times and was it with the same person (an 'affair') I have cheated on all my bf's, ranging from snogs to more, but not 'affairs'.

    Did your relationship survive? Why? Was it because they forgave you or you didn't tell them.
    Didn't tell them.

    If you ever did cheat, would you tell your partner? Maybe, but I doubt it. That's just rubbing it in.

    Any other opinions on whether a relationship can survive? I don't know, it depends what the other one did, if it was a drunken snog then yes, if it was full blown sex or an 'affair' then no.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee

    I used to think like you did. Basically you have to wait until either you or a friend is in the same situation and then judge. You can only *assume* your reaction and trust me it could turn out to be wrong!

    :eek: Is this what you were feeling guilty about bumbles???? oooh you naughty girl.:p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite


    :eek: Is this what you were feeling guilty about bumbles???? oooh you naughty girl.:p

    I can categorically say that the answer to this question is 'no'. :cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    had to ask though didn`t I.
    Oh well, thought I`d uncovered some juicy gossip there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In a long term relationship, you could say you should keep it to yourself if you cheat on your partner. You are punishing youself by having to live with the guilt, and you aren't inflicting any hurt on your partner by dumping it all on their shoulders.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my personal opinion - No.. Definately not. Trust is key, if you lose that you lose everything that the relaionship is based on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheMistress
    In my personal opinion - No.. Definately not. Trust is key, if you lose that you lose everything that the relaionship is based on.
    Ok but what if you you never found out? You would still think you could trust your partner and could go on believing forever that they had been faithful to you!
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