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Break up and still friends, then the plot thickens...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all, ive been kinda lerkin in the shadows reading everyones posts trying to see if i can help myself out a bit, but i guess i dunno what to do or feel now.

It started at the beginning of August. After a bad patch of a few months, my gf and i called it a day after going out for a year and 2 months, and i was fine with that because we were determined to stay good friends and we did and we got on for parts. A-Level results day she got kinda weird with me because i came to her school to see how shed done, tho she didnt want me there.

I know shed be flirting with the chef at her work, shes 18 and hes 24 and thought nothing of it, knew theyd got on well even at the end of our relationship and knew she fancied him. She chose to tell me at the beginning of September that a few days before we broke up, she had slept with him. I took it pretty well and people told me that i did, but maybe im starting to crack i dunno.

Weird feeling, you know where after youve broken up with a person, and you see them some time after and they look really good, like really gorgeous, saw her again tonight and that was the scenario. Felt awkward. She says she doesnt want me to hate her for what she did but i still feel betrayed and hurt. She hasnt said sorry to my face yet and she says she doesnt regret sleepign with him, only regretting hurting me.

Worse thing being, in the height of our relationship we decided to go to the same uni, good idea, bad idea, i dunno. But theres nothing i can do about that now and i guess id be comfy, but i just need to sort out how i feel before i get down there, its gonna be hard i know but i need some help knowing how to feel :(

I guess its also harder to talk to her when shes with her friends, shes far more approachable when shes on her own so i find it hard to talk to her a bit. I want to be able to talk to her face about the whole thing but i hardly see her and shes been working loads, yes with the chef guy, if she could shed rely soley upon MSN to chat about problems. I dont want to have to resort to that.

Any advice would be great, need some help finding out how i should feel and what i should do to make myself feel better, need a morale booster, but i want to stay friends with her too. Just confused!



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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    god!! all sounds v.confusin!!
    well i think you should talk to her a bit, just tell her u still want to be mates with her nothing more just mates. If she doesnt regret sleepin with that guy then thats a bit harsh, but i spose its good she told u, i cant believe u took it so well! id have gone mad if my bf told me something like that, I think u just need time to think really, G'luck, s_m_b x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend broke up with me on Thursday and said he still wanted to be friends - that seems really difficult. We have decided to try and give things a go :)

    I hope it can work this time :)

    Maybe it could work for you, try to be friends and rememebre it was not your fault. You can get someone better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for replying :)

    Its been hard because where she had this guy like immediately after we split, i had no one so i was forced with seeing her with another guy, bringing me down, and she was forced with seeing me with no one, perhaps a morale booster for her?

    Either way we've kinda talked and we're building up the friendship again. Want to go to uni together on a good note as good friends, it can work i think. But i think im over her now, its been over a month, i want to enjoy myself at uni and put this in the past.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When Harry Met Sally

    Billy Crystal says that

    " Men and Women can never truly be friends - because the sex part always gets in the way "

    For me and my ex-girlfriend this is true - to a certain extent - however we have managed to reconcile some sort of friendship - probably because since we split up I have lost a shed load of weight, grown some hair, and became captain of one of the uni football teams - hence I feel and look better - am better positioned within the university social circuit - and have other women and opportunities attracted to me now .

    My point is - when you get to uni - you can be whoever you want to be, enjoy it - my ex lives up the road - I don;t care - enjoy yourself - do something which makes you feel better within yourself and grab yourself a whole handful of other women - because at uni - their are hardly any 'keepers' anyway - it's a cattle market - just call me 'Farmer Dan' !
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