Porn Mags

Former Member

I have been in a fairly good 2 1/2 year relationship and then all of a sudden i found four porno mags under my blokes matress, what should i do? I'm really angry and have been avoiding his calls. He's left messages on my mob saying that he doesn't know why im so stressy. Am i just over reacting?

Former Member

Look at it this way if he found 4 porno mags under your matress, would he be cross!! Yeah he would so you have a right to be angry!!

Former Member

Thank you! just gotta work out just how cross i'm supposed to be though, if u know what i mean!

Former Member

Are you over reacting? Ummm yeah just a bit Hes not going to stop jacking off just cos hes in a relationship, there is no reason to feel hurt or anything stupid like that its just something we do

Former Member

I'd be pleased to find prom mags under my blokes matress... I think I'll check!

Former Member

Is there somthing wrong with me because i wouldnt be cross at all if i found porno mags under my girlfriends matress

Former Member

i know that. It's just that our sex life has been a bit, well, crap lately due to something i don't want to go into, and i know he wouldnt ever have done this before, thats the reason it makes me feel hurt. Also, i know this sounds silly, but a little while ago i asked him what he fantasised about when he tossed off, and he said me and nothing else,,,,now this just prooves he thinks about other women ...although i didnt really believe him in the first place.

Former Member

why pleased?

Former Member

Im sorry to break this to you but he has probally had the mags for a while and its probally nothing to do with ur other problems, its just that you have only found them now?

Former Member

I really wouldnt worry about it, its not like hes actually having a relationship with another women. We all have fantasies dont we?

Former Member

nope, one dated June, shortly before we went on holiday together, plus i tidied his room before that and there wern't any then. I'm just being silly. I'll just have to pretend nothing happened and apologise for being stupid i uess. Better porno than cheating i guess!

Former Member

nah ure right, like i said at least it's only picyures and not the real thing!! Thanks.

Former Member

Originally posted by mel_belle
i know that. It's just that our sex life has been a bit, well, crap lately due to something i don't want to go into, and i know he wouldnt ever have done this before, thats the reason it makes me feel hurt. Also, i know this sounds silly, but a little while ago i asked him what he fantasised about when he tossed off, and he said me and nothing else,,,,now this just prooves he thinks about other women ...although i didnt really believe him in the first place.

Listen to yourself. You're upset that he's thinking about other women - but they're porn mags. It's not like he's thinking about your best friend, is it? Then again, maybe his is thinking of your best friend. lol
But seriously, it's just porn. You've said your sex live has been pants lately, so is it a surprise to find porn? He's probably had them for ages anyway. Look on the bright side, at least it isn't gay porn?
The porno mags, and him wanking over images of other women aren't the problem. There's something wrong with your relationship, and with the way you view pornography. Sort those out first. Even with those sorted, he'll probably still look at porn. Most blokes do. Oh, and even if you're having a wonderful relationship, he'll probably still wank too. And you probably will too.
On the subject of looking at, and thinking about other women. Don't you look at other men? Say no, and you're just lying.
Accept it. Live with it. It's normal to look and fantasize, and the key word here is "fantasize". Live with it.

Mr_Wobble

Former Member

I think youre over-reacting. Just because porno mags have loads of pictures in have you actully thought that the stories in them are probably why your fella is buying them. Would any of you lads agree with that?
Honestly your fella is doing what thousands of other fellas do every day. Obviously if you dont like the idea of them being in a place where you can find them then he should be told to keep them totally out of the way, which most fellas would do anyway:)

Former Member

your over re-acting its completely normal for lads!!

Former Member

it does hurt when you first find them though. I remember finding a couple under the mattress once when our sex life had been a bit crap for a while, and i was really hurt, as it was me who wanted sex, and he didnt as much at the time, and then i found those. i was a bit hurt to say the least, i wouldnt have minded if hed have brought them out and wanted to use them as part of sex, but was hurt that he was doing it as a private thing. its hard to explain, but i do know how youre feeling mel belle, but theres nothing you can do. All blokes wank, and most women do too. Ive only ever had a problem with it, when im not getting my oats:p

Former Member

What were you doing looking under his mattress in the first place?

Former Member

I'd rather someone i was with had a wank over a mag then gone out an found himself another girl instead :rolleyes:

Former Member

So effin what! Your boyfriend likes porn! SHOCK HORROR! Talk about an over reaction, get over it

Former Member

Yeah, you are overreacting.

Porn to me is like a sex toy, I don't care about the woman doing it, I have no feelings or anything for them, Its just a mean's to an end. I need to let off some tension and porn a good way of doing this!

I guess it also makes a change from having sex, you don't have to worry about your partners needs being meet, you are only catering for yourself.

Don't worry about it, if you are feeling jealous ask to join in looking at it or something, or just let him get on with it. as long as your needs are still being meet there isn't really a problem is there?

Former Member

Let's face it, there are worse things than finding porn mags under his mattress. You could've found gay porn mags under his mattress!

Mr_Wobble

Former Member

I don't mind my bloke having porno mags, get some yourself you don't know what you're missing
Seriously though I'd be more pissed off if I found photos of girls he knows hidden under his bed. These are just fantasies and lets be honest we all have them don't we??

Former Member

Why would I be pleased? Because I like porn.....

I have a friend who says that his girlfriend would split up with him if she knew he looked at porn and/or wanked. He does both. People need to accept that its all natural!

Former Member

Is your boyfriend going to run off with one off with one of these models? I think not. Maybe you should get pictures of yourself and give them to him to 'use' if it bothers you that much.

Former Member

Originally posted by Silverberg
Maybe you should get pictures of yourself and give them to him to 'use' if it bothers you that much.

....but ensure they've been encapsulated in wipe clean laminate first.

Mr_Wobble

Former Member

Very important!

Former Member

for crap sake, some people are more sensitive than others and i dont think that she is over reacting at all after the things he said to her. when you are in love with some one you believe what they tell you. :impissed:

Former Member

Lol im thinking of getting my boyfriend a subscription for Loaded for his Xmas present/b-day I wouldnt mind looking at it too though

Former Member

Loaded is hardly pornographic though is it?

Former Member

Originally posted by Fairy
Lol im thinking of getting my boyfriend a subscription for Loaded for his Xmas present/b-day I wouldnt mind looking at it too though

I don't know if you are joking or not, but I can't take that risk and let you buy some shit mag's;)

Loaded is shit, FHM is better but you couldn't even have a "Tommy tanker" over that anyway!

Get him so decent shit!

Playboy is like a FMH with ruder pic and still has some funny story's and comments!

Or buy him a hardcore mag

Just don't waste your money on Loaded!!

Former Member

Re: Porn Mags

Originally posted by mel_belle
I have been in a fairly good 2 1/2 year relationship and then all of a sudden i found four porno mags under my blokes matress, what should i do? I'm really angry and have been avoiding his calls. He's left messages on my mob saying that he doesn't know why im so stressy. Am i just over reacting?

yes, you are over-reacting but frankly I'm more bothered by the way you chose to deal with it. Instead of talking to your boyfriend you've effectively shut off communication with him completely, which is a ridiculous thing to do. That will never improve anything, only make things worse. From the sounds of it the porn mags is just an excuse for you to not talk to him about other things, which you need to get sorted.

Like other people have said, it could have been gay porn or naked pictures of your friends. But then why should that be a problem so long as you are both talking about whatever kind of relationship you have?

You should tell him not to bother with wank mags though, there's loads of porn on the internet for free.