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My mate's a virgin

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK. I have a friend who is severely physically disabled. He has cerebal palsy. He's in a wheelchair and his whole body is sort of paralysed. He can take a few steps, he can talk slowly, etc. But his face looks strained and he dribbles occasionally (not pretty really).
What is really important is that he is 100% MENTALLY THERE. He is a nice guy and has alot of female friends, but none of them fancy him sexually.
Because hes mentally all there (and the equipment works apparently) he is really really gagging to get laid. He cant get a girl to be interested in him in the way he wants.
I have suggested getting him a hooker but he wants the first time to be spesh (Understandably).
When we go out and get drunk he confides in me how annoyed he is at not being able to get girls to fancy him. What am I supposed to say? Sometimes I feel guilty when my girlfriend is around.
The boy is sound, but he cant get himself laid, as much as he tries.

What do i do people? i know its not my responsibility, but he's a mate, and he's frustrated as hell.

Are there any girls out there that would EVER fall for a guy with paralysis?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmm this is a tuffy mate. i dont want to sound harsh or anything and im just being honest but i really dont know if i could ever find myself physically atracted to someone in his situation??? im sure there are people out there that would though and i think he just needs to keep his spirits high and perserver(sp?). It may take him longer to find the right person than others but im sure that he will in the end because there is someone out there for everyone its just a matter of finding them. sorry i havent actually helped have i?! <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well ill b honest. straight off i dont think that i would be attracted to someone in that situation, but if i got to know them then who knows?? its happened to me in the past when ive not fancied someone but once you get to know them its like you see them in a different light and they become attractive to you in a different way (if that makes sense!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dunno how much help this will be, as I'm not quite in the same situation, but....

    I've also got cerebral palsy (albeit a mild form of hemiplegia, which just affects my left side, so I can walk and do most things) and it did occasionally cross my mind that blokes would be unlikely to fancy me, as there would always be this first impression of my funny walk and wiggly hand, BUT I met my boyfriend, randomly, at a uni society AGM, we pulled and have been together ever since (over a year now). A few months ago I plucked up the courage to properly explain what was 'wrong' me me, and he just said that it didn't matter, he loves me the way I am etc. etc.

    So, I s'pose, basically what I'm trying to say, is that while it's bound to be frustrating for him now, and he's no doubt cursing his cerebral palsy, there will be someone who will kind of overlook all that, if he's a nice enough guy, with personality, humour, blah de blah. Apart from the occasional dribble, is he really all that worse looking than your 'average' bloke? If not, you can say he has just as much chance of finding someone as the rest of the poor sods who come on here, whinging about their virginity....

    And not to try and pigeon hole him here, but does he find girls with handicaps or disabilities attractive? They will probably not be as judgemental as the tall, blonde, physically perfect stunner, since they'll know exactly what he's going through.

    Unless you wanna try your luck as a matchmaker, there's not a lot you can do except for be there for him, and support him when he's having a much needed moan about his lack of love life!

    I hope things work out for him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like a wikkid geeza mate

    people will either think im weird or just trying to look like a hero or whatever but...to me a disability of any kind aint nuthin. one day (soon hopefully) some girls gonna fall in love with him and nothings gonna change that; ive heard it said so many times "ya cant help who ya fall in love with" and i got a mate whose dads in a wheelchair (paralysed waist down) and pulls all the time, and i tell ya...most of the women he pulls are the kinda women you dont dare look at for fear of their 10ft tall Arnie lookalike boyfriend smashes ya! its personality yinnah, so his good sense of humour might not have got him the sexiest girl in skool or whatever, but guarenteed hes gonna blag a bird a LOT nicer than any "perfect" girl.

    basically, anyone can pull in the end.

    best of luck to him *thumbs up*

    ~dappa
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went out with a guy who is in a wheelchair 4 about 3months he was totaly sweet i went out with him because of wot he is not wot he was missing we never had sex but we did other stuff the the thing is i got SO much abuse from every one even friends


    many girls might not want the hassel of the piss takers of the world

    otheres might not feel attrated to his personalerty

    if i was him i would want it to be special thats wot my ex always said him never wanted anyone to take pitty on him and shag him 4 that reason or because they were guilted into it <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    tell ur friend that some one special will come along soon and will look pass the physical dissablety and they will shag personly i can c y he wouldnt like to have a hooker

    hope i helped a little <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sure he is a greta guy and think about it if he finds somebody for his personality (and trust me he will)then it will be all that more special, he will now why they are inthat relationship. just be there for him while he is lookin, just listen to what he has to say, there ain't really much else you can do, good luck duckie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont let him lose it to a hooker, he will regret that he didnt lose it to someone special, you say he has lots of friends so he is doing something right <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I agree with the last posting...hes doing something right!!If his mates were mates they wouldnt take the pee outta him for being a virgin ( kids can be so cruel nowadays even thou theres nothing wrong with waiting!) But he's obviously a popular bloke so dont let him sleep with a hooker..Im prob talking pants aint I? ill shuttup now <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If desperate u cud try a prostitute, but not a street corner kinda 1
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