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Friends....???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi!
Ive just come for a moan cos im really pi**ed off at the mo:( and i really need to get it off my chest.....
I fell out with a freind a few months ago, the real reason was because she was a constant liar,but she had also tried to get off with my boyf.That didnt bother me (well it did in a way cos she called herself my best freind).Her trying it on with him just triggered everything off that had been building up for ages.
For the past two years i have been blinded by her lies and i never could see when people told me to stay away from her and how much trouble she was-being a true freind to her i stuck by her which was alot!
She went through pregnancy,new boyfs,name calling,bitchy ex best freinds (somet i can call myself now) and i always wondered how she could get back up after someone or something knocked her down.
It all started with her saying things to people things i had said when i hadnt,she told close freinds of mine that i had said things about them and blamed her bitchy comments on me.Being blind i went along with it.....
Falling out with her has opened my eyes to what shes always been like.Everywhere she went she hurt someone and when we finally broke up she lost everyone except her boyf.Now hes going through what i did,hes lost all of his freinds aswell because of what shes done,trying it on with every lad she sees and shes been behind his back plenty of times.
But no matter how many people she has hurt along the way,she may have lost her freinds but she has got away with everything.No-ones made a big fuss, there was a time when i wanted to literally kill her but i never and she gets EVERYTHING she wants-except my freindship back when she begged me.
Looking at what shes done has made me see that hurting people,gets you on furthur in life....she might not have freinds but she has a way of getting what she wants.She has a way of getting people she has hurt to forgive her and the lies she tells roll out after eachother yet i still seem to be the only person that sees what she is really like.I just wondered if anyone thinks that if you are actually a nice person are you really gonna get anywhere in life?does being a bitch help you along?and for being a compulsive liar why is it that people can be such experts in it and in hurting people yet get away with it all?maybe theres only a certain type of people she goes for cause she knows they will be sucked in by her.She has really pi**ed me off even months after i havent spoke to her.....:naughty: :mad: :crazyeyes

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not good :(

    And being a bitch may help in the short term, but not in the long. Gradualy her former friends (like you) will begin to see her as what she really is and start deserting her. If she keeps treating everyone in the manner she is now, she'll end up lonely and friendless.

    And as I said, being a bitch doesn't help, it'll probably just make her lonely in the end. You're a much better person than she and have friends to support you - just try to forget about her and focus on more positive things.

    Try to be happy with yourself - I assure you, she won't be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Friends....???
    Originally posted by **Cinderella**


    Looking at what shes done has made me see that hurting people,gets you on furthur in life....she might not have freinds but she has a way of getting what she wants.

    What kind of things did she do though - and how has it helped her get further in life? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This kind of reminds me of my mum and dads relationship!

    He was so controlling and manipulative for years and even after they'd got divorced he still wanted to manipulate his way into my mums life. In the end she just stopped all communication. hough he tried for ages to get back in, calling, trying to get a conversation started, saying poor me I'm hurt too etc etc...my mum knew the only thing she could do is cut off all contact for good for ever. It worked. She was happier and he had to deal with it.

    My advice...don't be like her, you hate her, do you want others to hate you? NO

    Cut off all contact and stick to your decision.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Cinders,

    Firstly, i'd like to say to you, please please dont lose your way, by the sound of things you are an good, honest and trustworthy person. Trust me, stay that way.

    I have experienced very recently similar situations to you, with my ex. And through my life i have known many people like your friend. You might look at her now and think, "what a bitch, she goes round stepping all over people to get what she wants, and she gets away with it!!!".........fear not cinders, she wont ALWAYS get away with it. This attitude is short term, she may appear to be getting away with it, BUT life is not a short run, and things DO turn around. She may well continue on her current path for a few more years maybe even ten years, but the way she is, WILL come back to her, and one day she will regret treating people the way she does.

    Besides that, dont under-estimate what she has lost in your friendship, i know its hard because you have also lost a friendship, but you have lost far less than she, because you were a true friend, she wasnt. She may not realise right now, maybe she does, but in time it will all sink in to her the result of her actions. Every action has a reaction, its a law of the universe, and its so true. Maybe the reaction is not immediate, and quite often if it isnt, it means the reaction is building up, so when it does occur it will be that much more dramatic.

    Unfortunately the real tragedy here is that i'm sure you friend is reacting and treating people in this way for a reason, usually its the result of insecurities in someone, bourne from divorced parents, or bullying at school or other events during childhood. What this means is that although your friend is being a bitch, its her reaction to her environment, and for some reason she doesnt understand/or care about the concequences. The biggest price your friend will pay will be in her own head, when she does finally wake up. As a friend or even ex-friend, you _could_ choose to try and highlight that fact for her, and that may be the start of a new her, maybe, maybe not.

    One other thing i have learnt along the way, the saying "a lephard never changes it spots". This IS very true, people change but underneath they ARE and ALWAYS will be the same person.

    hope this helps
    keith
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good post ktec.

    I had a friend similar to this, so I completely sympathise. At first, I thought she was great, she was clever, funny and we got on like a house on fire. But I soon found out how manipulative she was, and it became clear she only really cared about herself. She did some really terrible things behind my back, for example telling people my dad was abusing me :eek: something I didn't find out until a long time after we wasn't friends anymore.

    Either way, she crapped over me and moved on to the next person. At that time she was quite popular which stung even more, but popularity is fickle, and eventually after abusing a number of people she fell from grace and became a complete social outcast.

    Alot has happened to her now, stuff that would take hours to post, but my point is, eventually, it all came back to her. She was a user, and nobody wanted to be associated with her. Although I initially dislike her I do sympathise with her and hope that if anything she will learn from her experiences ad realise that what you do to others comes straight back to you.

    The same will happen to this girl, she will learn the hard way which is sad. Good luck anyway xx :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx 4 all the replies to my post! When i posted it i was on a right downer...mainly because none of her boyfs freinds like her and she was still getting invited to their parties-yeh fair enough if her boyf gets invited then she has to but not if u hate them!Neway afta i wrote this post she stepped a bit over the line...she went to this party were no1 liked her to begin with and came home with no boyfreind aswell!Like usual she cudnt handle her drink and caused LOTS of trouble.I no its horrible but it really made me happy inside that she was getting some commupance!Neways shes started at my freinds college and apparently has made new freinds but shes nothing in my life now!But every once in a while if i sit and think about it it does sometimes upset me.What i see best freinds to be-she wasnt!I feel sorry for her more than anything-i think shes real insecure, stuffs gone on in her life that we only see in films,not nice things!So maybe i was harsh on her,but she should really get them sorted cause shes hurting too many people!U lot really made me smile and feel a lot better so thanx :D:D
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