Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

sex vs. relationship problem

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is gonna sound like such a weird comment thing but it's a real problem to me. I've been going out with a girl I met on the internet (sad I know but shes drop dead!). Anyway on Friday after 10 months of not seeing eachother and talking about what we'd do when we eventually met I decided to meet her. She looked much nicer than she did in all her pictures and I was totally blown away. Anyway the first day together was crap, she had come with her cousins and when there was the 4 of us (her, 2 cousins and me) she didn't really talk to me which is understandable as we were both pretty shy. I got the train at 11 and she met me at 4 and after all the traveling we were on our own at 6 for 30 minutes. For those 30 minutes we were both dead close, we talked we kissed, we teased and we were in love. Then the next day she came into the bed I was sleeping in at 11am. Same thing happened and we were really close and one thing lead to another and we both ended up naked. I began the 4play by licking her out, usually this is something I'm really good at but I could tell all her screaming was fake orgasms and I felt like a major disapointment. Before I'd begin licking and within 20 minutes shed have an orgasm, this time she was plain faced for 10 and asked me to stop just after she screamed and told me she couldnt take it. I could tell it was fake though. Then the next disaster, we started having sex with her on top but I couldn't get it up. I'm hoping this was a problem with my badly looked after diabeties, I came eventually but it wasn't a proper erection, kind of like sex when your drunk. Both of us thought it was crap, nothing was said but you could tell that neither of us was happy. Then the worse thing ever, after being intimate for 4 hours I peeped in her hand bag and found a vibrator. At that moment I felt like dying, I was crap in bed but I'd told her I was really good at everything we did and I felt like a real disapointment, then I found this. We spent 4 hours together and I found a toy which could give her twice the pleasure in 20 minutes. I just totally felt like dying. But the harsh part is I donno how I should feel, I'm really jealous of this thing and I wish we hadn't had sex and completely regretted the whole weekend. The only thing I liked was the lovey feeling you get when your with someone like that. I donno what I should do now either, I wish she didn't have that thing and I wish I was just a little better, ok I mean alot better but I feel as if I've let her down after getting her hopes up after all that. The whole things made me really depressed or perhaps its not being with her. It feels better telling people but some advice in some form of another would be excellent. Advice like, what am I doing wrong, can me being diabetic affect my willy and just that kinda advice, you get the drift. Were really in love though but at the moment this has really messed up my self esteem to the point I never wonna see her again :(

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Urm yere, reading all that is a long task, I got lost 3/4 of the way down.... possibly cos' i'm drunk so excuse speelin mistakes etc.
    Well ya have a fuked up life for starters and maybe u shud stay off the web for a while...
    as of the suger prob.. i dunnow...soz...shudnt be a prob as suger has nuffin to do wit gettin it up. But does have alot to do wit energy! urm wat ekse is there. *scrools down*
    Urm yere well stay of the web and go and get an ego boost with sum "real" people, sorry if that sounds harsh..
    Bopz :)
    (DRUNKEN)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    too long i didnt even read it

    soz

    luv kinx
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually Bopperz, thats not true at all. Diabetes can affect alot of phsyiological functions. If you arent taking care of your diabetes properly you are running more risks than you know and could be alot worse off than now.

    Id advise seriously concentrating on taking care of yourself and learning to be responsible about that before you go off wanting to bring someone into your life. THis is not to be harsh, but what can you expect to offer a partner if you wont even take care of yourself? Love yourself first and then you can love someone else the way they should be loved.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I read it, but I don't know what to say. Just take it easy and you don't have to be jealously. Besides she can't cuddle with a vibrator ;) Talk to her about your feelings!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really shouldn't matter that she has a vibrator... you shouldn't feel threatned by it, though a lot of blokes are. You could have suggested incorporating it into foreplay... it's a lot of fun, and you can learn what really does make her tick, if you do think that she was faking it. Remember, a vibrator is a masturbatory device (mainly), and masturbation is never as good as the real thing, i'm sure you'd agree. The first time you have sex with a new partner is never as good as it could be, as you get to know each other better the sex gets better. Hope this helps a little.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For a start, don't worry about the vibrator. Odd that it was in her handbag though, as it's not something normally carried (I'll probably be corrected by half the girls on this site now) with a girl in her handbag. Maybe she intended to have you both use it, but never had the bottle to bring it out? Maybe that's what she needed, but instead tried to fake it. Maybe she wasn't faking it? maybe she was? ....I'll tell you what, here's a radical idea - why don't you talk with her about it all?
    Do you think you may have just suffered nerves, and been put off a bit by her apparent faking? It's not a great confidence booster.
    If you met her on the net, and were able to spend time talking to her, then there's every chance that you'll be able to talk with her about it, so do so.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Odd that it was in her handbag though, as it's not something normally carried (I'll probably be corrected by half the girls on this site now) with a girl in her handbag.
    :eek: :eek: :eek: Hell no, I'd never carry mine around with me! It never leaves my bedroom.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :confused: I have neither a vibrator nor a handbag :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its weird that it was in her handbag too, although loads of girls have vibrators, its usually a very private thing. You dont know for sure that she was faking it, some girls are more vocal than others during sex.
    the bit about the diabetes worried me. I used to have a friend who was diabetic, and didnt look after himself properly. hes now dead because of it. I think this is something thats far more important than whether you had one crap shag.
Sign In or Register to comment.