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Relationship Racism?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend has been kicked out of his home by his family because he is Sikh they say it is not right for him to date a white girl:eek: They have never met me or even made an attempt to find out what i am like as a person, his father says he expects i am like most white women and i am a slut hu will screw his son for benefit soon after i have married and divorced him....i find all this quite upsetting, i was wondering if anyone else has been inthis kind of mixed relationship before & could offer advice. Thanx:p
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Basically, im afraid as with most asian families, indian families do not tend to take too well to gfs of different religion (dating a hindu is ok if your a sikh tho). Best thing is for your boyfriend to say you've split up. Carry on seeing each other by all means, but it will be MUCH easier he DOESNT tell his family that you are still with him. If it gets really serious, maybe then you guys can think about telling his family.
His family does seem to be going a bit extreme though, most sikh families i know have a white member and everyone seems to treat them just like one of the family.
Sikhs aren't the only religions who (as a whole) disapprove of mixed race relationships. My own religion, Hinduism also disapprove, as do Muslims. They do this for many reasons.
One of them is that they want to carry on their own race without any so-called 'impurities'. They want any children of their offspring to be 100% Asian, which is why they're so against their children falling for white people... the fact is that they do not want half caste children in their families. Harsh, but true.
Another is that, as you say, they hold a stereotypical view of white people. They see them as having no morals, and following lifestyles which fly in the face of 'traditional' Indian family values. For example, an Asian single mother would face no end of persecution, whereas nobody would bat an eyelid at a white single mother.
Yet another reason is the stigma attached in the Asian community to mixed race relationships. I've seen people shunned by those who they considered to be friends, merely because they're dating or married to someone white. Your boyfriends family don't want him to bring shame upon the family by dating someone white, no matter how decent you are. Again, harsh but true.
As for what you can do, I suggest this. Talk things through thoroughly with your boyfriend. Get his views on the subject... whether he's happy with such an arrangement, if he's only doing what he is for his family's sake. When you have that, you can consider your options.
You could ask to meet his family, just to prove that you are good enough for their son and the view they hold of you is wrong. If that fails, you could always continue seeing your boyfriend without his family knowing. The risk of that however is that your boyfriends family could find out, and there'd be hell to pay on his side. The only other option is to accept it, and go your separate ways.
Obviously, I can't decide for you, but I hope whatever you decide turns out well xxx
It's nice to see that Eugenics and the Nazi ideal are alive and well.
I think a lot of black and Asian people need to take a step back and think to themselves, "maybe i'm the racist one".
Trying to create their own race free from impurities would be called the final solution anywhere else. An idea that i thought had died with Hitler.
You never struck me as naive.