Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

How open are you with your mum and/or dad about sex.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Following on from the sex education discussion, I'm interested to know what your relationships with your parents are regarding talking about sex related issues.

As I've made clear elsewhere, my hope is that as my son grows older, he'll be able to talk to me about his relationships - not in great detail obviously! :D At the moment, he's only 10 so he views me as the font of all knowledge and we talk about things openly. I suspect this might stop once he's moving towards becoming sexually active and I really would prefer it not to.

As young people yourselves (well most of you) what's your take on this. Will I be able to keep the commnication going with my son, and if so, how can I go about doing this?
«1

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't talk to my parents about it at all anymore and I don't even tell them about boyfriends. I don't know if they think I've had sex or not but I'm not about to talk to them about it. If I have any problems or whatever I take care of it myself.

    Me and my parents just aren't the type of people to talk about this stuff together. I don't know how that came about but things just change I guess. So I suppose the way to make sure your son can talk about it with you is to keep up these talks you already have. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 16 years old if my mum tried to talk to me about it now i think it would be very embaressing for the both of us.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I was about 5 I was sat down with a book and given a long talk about reproduction and the human body. I can honestly say that it wasn't mentioned again until I was 10, when my mum was pregnant with my sisters, and I wondered how she had known she was pregnant. Quite understandably I'd forgotten a LOT of the things that I'd been told when I was younger. So my mum gave me a talk then.

    Since then.. we've not had much discussion about it. It was briefly skimmed over when i started my periods, and more recently my mum has said things like "just respect yourself", if i'm going to my boyfriend's house. But it's NOT a topic for discussion in our house.

    Oh, my friend had a pregnancy scare a few months back, and I told my mum about it... she did ask if I was really talking about a friend, or if it was myself. But that's really as far as our relationship goes. I suppose I could talk to my parents about sex.... But they haven't approached me, so it's a taboo subject.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex in my house is taboo, as it was with my mother and her mother, and her mother before that etc........ I really wish it wasn't, I can't even watch something like Cruel Intentions without having her huffing and tutting through it.

    If I ever have children I am going to be open about it, and hopefully if they ever need help, they will feel that they are able to talk to me about it. I also am going to take a lot of involvement in teaching them about sex, contraception, love etc. cos I really feel I was left in the dark, my mum taught me how to dress myself, toilet trained me, taught me right from wrong, but couldn't bring herself to talk about something which in my eyes is equally as important.

    Angie, I think what you have going with your son is great! Of course there will be things he won't want you to know as he gets older, but at least he will have the security of knowing that if he ever needed to talk to you about something like that, he could.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think if you're open about it from a young age then there shouldn't be much difficulty in broaching the subject when they're older.

    However, my parents were open with me when I was younger but by the time I was a teenager society has imposed the view on me that it was something you talked about with your mates and not your parents.

    I don't have any children, but when and if I do I hope to explain things to them when they're about 10, maybe go through some books with them. However, there are some things I won't want to know about, like when they actually have sex. Some things shouldn't be shared with your parents!

    As long as I clue them up about things like STIs and contraception then I hope I'll have done my job.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by go_away
    If I ever have children I am going to be open about it, and hopefully if they ever need help, they will feel that they are able to talk to me about it. I also am going to take a lot of involvement in teaching them about sex, contraception, love etc.

    Yeah... I taught myself most of what I know, from various websites and forums. If I have children I intend to be as open as possible with them.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think my mum knows nearly everything about my life -even about my sex life :rolleyes: Well, not so much as my best (girl)mate.
    I can talk about everything with my mum, there has never been a problem we couldn't talk about.
    I haven't seen my dad since April - we are not so much in contact - and if I see him we just talk about things like the weather.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Parents can act like total tits and having them give you "talks" is annoying.. I hate telling my mum I have G/F cos' she just acts really weird so I tend not to tell her! I am going to be the coolest Dad one day and I am going to make sure they dont hate me!

    I stayed over my bass players house the other day (just me and her, nothing happened!) but my mum gave me the weirdest looks when I came home. She is convinced i slept with her and that really annoys me.
    Bopz :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its so Strangle, my Mum & Dad Know I have had sex before and Tell me it's "OK" to bring gf's home and they can stay and all that, yet they have never openly talk about sex with me:confused:

    I'm kinda glad they have not because it would feel strange

    Sure my Mum did the "be safe talk" when I went away, But that's about it.

    Yeah I also plan to be open with my kids about sex, My old man never said anything about sex to me. Well I hardy talk to him any way!

    I might do what the Dad does in that film "American pie" and buy my son a porn when his 16!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't get it regularly enough to be open about it, since I have nothing to talk about, but I mean, Dad and I were both looking at my computer 5 minutes ago looking up what "cottaging" was. (Does anyone know, just out of interest?)

    It's not taboo, it's just not talked about. More or less everything I know comes from this place, rather worringly. No wonder I have a warped view of sex, and obsess about my penis size constantly. :p

    :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cottaging is gay men having sex [ i think ] theres more to it than that but i forgot, sorry!
    Duffy
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When certain types of gay men have sex in public toilets. Most gays don't do it though.

    And I'm fairly open with my parents about sex.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by RNT
    My mum still believes I'm a virgin.


    Same here...but i dunno why cos i tried hinting it! :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I chat to my mum about certain blokes i like and shes all happy happy and chatting away but when it gets deeper i can see the shocked look on her face which is where i leave it to her imagination. With my dad well.........im his little girl and he and my brothers and dog are the only men in my life!

    Certain things should be kept quiet. I don't even like producing b/fs just incase it doesn't work out and im with somone new the next week. I just don't want to disappoint them and what they can't see they don't know!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only thing i don't tell my mum and dad is the gory details as there's only so far you can go on that one. Otherwise my parents know everything there is to know.

    They've both brought me up to be pretty relaxed about talking to them about it and i feel i don't have to hide anything from them. It's good to be able to go home with a problem and get an adult view on it. Plus it helps knowing that there's always going to be someone there to help me out when i'm down.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd class my mum as my best fried, I can talk to her about absolutely anything... anything :cool:

    I haven't spoke to my dad for atleast 5 months eventhough we share the same house :eek: not too wory though as he's either working or getting totally pissed on booze
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont feel i can talk 2 any1 in my house about sex! :( Im shy even around my parents but have no trouble talking to my g.f/g.fs mum/friends about sex so its alright!

    Ill live i s'pose!
    La de da
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my mum talk about things like that with no problem, and we watch films like cruel intentions and american pie together. It's not really a problem and I love being able to talk to my mum. My two best friends can't talk to theitr mums and it just makes me realise how lucky i am to be able to talk to her like that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I was 10 my mother handed me a pamphlet on mensuration and said " If you've any questions ask your sister!" before making a hasty exit . bless ;)

    I went to a convent school and received no sex education whatsover.

    In the 20 odd years since then. I have never gotten pregnant, contracted an std and any serious relationships have been loving and mutually beneficial.


    I don't know what that proves but I'm sure it must be something :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Edi M
    When I was 10 my mother handed me a pamphlet on mensuration and said " If you've any questions ask your sister!" before making a hasty exit . bless ;)

    I went to a convent school and received no sex education whatsover.

    In the 20 odd years since then. I have never gotten pregnant, contracted an std and any serious relationships have been loving and mutually beneficial.


    I don't know what that proves but I'm sure it must be something :p

    That you're lucky?:p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum still thinks I'm a virgin!!!:confused: How I'll never understand:D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Dan_London
    I'd class my mum as my best fried, I can talk to her about absolutely anything... anything :cool:

    I think that's excellent. Has this happened because you've always been open with each other?
    Originally posted by Dan_London
    I haven't spoke to my dad for atleast 5 months eventhough we share the same house :eek: not too wory though as he's either working or getting totally pissed on booze

    How old were you when you realised what your dad's like? He sounds a bit like my ex (although he prefers to get stoned rather than work a full week) and our son thinks his dad's a hero at the moment. It's a bit distressing for me at times because I always seem to be the baddie despite being the one who's there for him all the time. I know my boy will work things out for himself one day, but I'm wondering how long that's going to take.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kazbo
    My mum still thinks I'm a virgin!!!:confused: How I'll never understand:D

    LOL mine does too but i haven't told her otherwise. Sometimes i think she knows but who cares!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    [1st post ever!]

    Well, I'm 19 and my g/f is 16. I learnt all the theory from books and sex ed. at school. I don't discuss sex with my parents, but I'm sure they know, as my g/f stays round quite often and we've been together a year.

    My Mum must have seen condom packets and I've talked to my Dad about being sensible while drunk down the pub, and neither seem fussed.

    If I needed to talk to them I could, but I prefer to talk to friends and my girlfriend if there's a problem. We all seem to have a relaxed attitude about it.

    Dave.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm about as closed as you get. i have never said one thing to my parents about my sex-life, or anything even remotly dealing with sex. hell i won't even tell my mother to buy me tampons!! lol!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest I didn't need a talk. These days the youth can pick up all the information they need "on da streets", and if they are then dumb enough to get involved in pregnancy before their time or STDs then they deserve it.

    Girls should have their wombs removed at an early age and fitted back when they get married. Blokes should have cum filter attached to their ball bag to collect any orgasm material. At the end of each month a regional nurse can punish any lads with too much content, possibily via pocket money deduction. Trust me, these ideas would lead to a better Britain.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im quite similar to Dan, my Mum is my best friend and i can pretty much talk to her about anything. Obviously i don't tell her the ins and outs of my sex life, im sure she wouldn't want to know that - but she trusts me and with that i know if i need to know anything/talk through something, then she would always be there for me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here Here, I agree with Sir Cum.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Obviously i don't tell her the ins and outs of my sex life


    Nice inadvertent pun there girl!

    So you don't give her the blow by blow descriptions? lol
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never spoken to my parents about it. Sex ed in juniors was, quite frankly (and literally) laughable. Lets face it, was way too immature to take it seriously or pay attention.

    I still managed to get all the norms drilled in to my head (dont have sex with underage girls, use condoms every time, only have sex in a loving relationship where both parties trust each other). And I`d be perfectly willing to ignore the last point just for the chance to actually have sex after soo long.

    I dont think it really directly made the process of learning about such things more difficuly but I think it probly did take me a little longer to learn the 'ins and outs' than it may have for people who can talk to their parents about these sort of things.
Sign In or Register to comment.