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A question

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I wank all the time but i really wish it would go off faster...is there any ways to do that

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, invite some of your close friends round, then explain to them the problem.

    Then you just whip it out and have a wank right in front of them, whilst they all cheer the semen on by shouting things like "Come on you whites" and "Naughty monkey, Naughty monkey, Spank it!"

    All this excitement and added encouragement from truely trusted friends will lead to quick and pleasent relief.

    Good luck,

    Phil :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Use a lubricant?? Or don't do it as much.......even better get somebody to do it for you :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Practice??????????????:rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get stoned? works for me anyways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: A question
    Originally posted by Kenny_Bones
    I wank all the time but i really wish it would go off faster...is there any ways to do that

    Why? How long does it take you before you cum then? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chainsaw mate, nothing gets it off faster.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle
    Chainsaw mate, nothing gets it off faster.

    I disagree... I think you'll find that in the case of Robinson vs. Fraser. 5th Circuit Appeal, it was conclusively proved that in fact, a pneumatic drill works fairly quickly too. Regrettably, I don't think we could find a control test subject.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DJP


    I disagree... I think you'll find that in the case of Robinson vs. Fraser. 5th Circuit Appeal, it was conclusively proved that in fact, a pneumatic drill works fairly quickly too. Regrettably, I don't think we could find a control test subject.

    Nuhuh. You may think your delving into obscure case books may save you, but I'm afraid you missed a strikingly obvious example. The Guiness Book of Records clearly states, and I quote:
    The fastest recorded incident of penis removal was 0.87sec by Christoffer Halmann of Fjallbacka, Sweden. Mr. Halmann used a Husqvarna 372XP chainsaw, it.s 5.4 horsepower causing the chain to slice through his member like a hot knife through butter.

    End of case, boyo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not an official record, pal, there was a following wind of +3.2 m/s, and that deems it an illegal record attempt. Therefore, the 5th Circuit still stands.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DJP
    It's not an official record, pal, there was a following wind of +3.2 m/s, and that deems it an illegal record attempt. Therefore, the 5th Circuit still stands.

    Official, no, but often you'll find a brewery-sponsored records book gets it a darnsight more accurate than the legal system, whose system of argument and counter-argument often leads to utterly confusing qualifications being put on the records. You failed to mention the fact that a world beating pneumatic drill was only effective on members over 7 inches, thus limiting its effective rapid removal ability to a small percentage of the population.

    Halmann's record stands, because quite frankly, the wind only served to hurt all that more, making the achievement all the more remarkable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you not read, you reptilian oaf? It's a wind of +3.2 m/s - therefore in a positive direction! That means that the blood spurts caused timing officials to have difficulty in judging the precise moment of detachment, and therefore, by virtue of inaccurate timing, then it doesn't stand. It's like saying that Michael Johnson broke the 400m record to within a thousandth, timed on something that does tenths! Accuracy is the key, as always.

    The merits of the US Judiciary system are way beyond the scope of this post, as are the limitation of the pneumatic system. What I was merely trying to illustrate is the nature of your blind and biased prejudice towards chainsaws - perhaps from personal experience? - which is not accurate to the majority of the population. Equally, a cleaver, a sharp hunting knife, a vice etc. could be used, but these have not been mentioned.

    Put your head back in the shell.

    ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hehe what an amusing thread this has turned into :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do not deny, and never have denied, that pnuematic drills, knives, screwdrivers, dogs teeth or any other means available for the removal of the male genetalia, are not effective. I am merely pointing out that Halmann's activities with his Husky show, for the most part conclusively, that chainsaws are the vastly superior removal tool. Unless you can direct me towards more recorded incidents that even approach his 0.87sec, I would be very much interested.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle
    I do not deny, and never have denied, that pnuematic drills, knives, screwdrivers, dogs teeth or any other means available for the removal of the male genetalia, are not effective. I am merely pointing out that Halmann's activities with his Husky show, for the most part conclusively, that chainsaws are the vastly superior removal tool. Unless you can direct me towards more recorded incidents that even approach his 0.87sec, I would be very much interested.

    Until you can spell "genitalia" correctly, I refuse to accept anything that you tender as evidence.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hahaha

    Welcome to TheSite Kenny! :D It'll say much about your strength of character if you decide to stick around!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a weird post......hold on (no pun meant) aren't they all!
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