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Feel they are laughing
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Please help me I've been on off with this guy for 4 years but he is a compulsive liar/drunk few times he's made out he's single and isn't resulted in me being punched in the face by his gf. My mate said he saw him looked really I'll and generally not well. I saw him the next wk and he asked me to meet him nothing went on just talked to him. I went out sat found out that not only has he been stealing from his family and people on street for drink money but is on community service for threatening his moms bf with a knife sad his gf told me this after finding out I met him. My behaviour is not good but he messes my head up
Anyway he's been kicked out by his gf but his ex gf from years ago who is married is now going round every day giving him booze and money so she can get sex out of him.
I'm finding it hard to cope as he used me last Thursday and he's now not getting his deserts and getting what he wants. I've got her phoning telling me when his ex is round with booze n money but then talking the husband telling me things from other side.
I bumped into him fri and he said he's happy not remorseful at all despite fact she's married and my mate told me they turned up together yesterday in my local .... Really don't know how to deal with this
Anyway he's been kicked out by his gf but his ex gf from years ago who is married is now going round every day giving him booze and money so she can get sex out of him.
I'm finding it hard to cope as he used me last Thursday and he's now not getting his deserts and getting what he wants. I've got her phoning telling me when his ex is round with booze n money but then talking the husband telling me things from other side.
I bumped into him fri and he said he's happy not remorseful at all despite fact she's married and my mate told me they turned up together yesterday in my local .... Really don't know how to deal with this
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Well thats the plan only trouble there he does drink in same facility as me but what bothers me the most is his piece at the moment coming in and making a show despite the fact she has cheated on her husband and left her kid, hes fecked over his gf and me well.... Dont like the fact theyve gotten away with treaking people like shit
This I know... I just find it hard coping knowing she has turned up in pub I drink knowing they have fucked people over and they're not even sorry just making a point
It seems like this situation has really upset you and it's good that you seem to be fully aware that his behaviour, not only with you but other people, is completely unacceptable.
Your post doesn't seem to really suggest that anyone has a reason to be laughing at you specifically, however it's completely normal for you to feel frustrated seeing them in your local having a drink as if nothing has happened, when in fact not only has he upset you (and made you feel used) but there has been no remorse or apology since.
Is it possible for you to step away from him and his whole group for a bit? It's not ideal that they are local, however perhaps avoiding certain places for a while and giving this distance between you and them could really help. Hanging out with a different group of friends could really get your mind of whats happened :yes:
Do let us know how you get on *hug*
It's the fact he's medsed me about cheated on his live in gf and then all of sudden gone off with his ex from years ago. They are making a point as they know they've cheated on people and don't care
You are expecting reasonable behavior from people with diarrhea for morals. That would be like getting mad at a cat for killing a poor, cute mouse. These people have their own worldview. The only way to be a better person is not entertaining the company of such people. Don't try to impose your sense of right and wrong on them, it won't happen. Just walk away. Go drink in another pub, idc. Don't think about these people, don't talk to these people, forget these people exist.
Since u put it like that you have a point... So feel better in myself today still think their behaviour is disgusting and hope karma bites them on bum
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. It seems like you're a very caring person and that you tried to be there for your ex-boyfriend. So please don't beat yourself up for trying to support him or feel that everyone is laughing at you. From what you've said he's mistreated a lot of people, including his family, so you shouldn't find fault with yourself for his bad behaviour. You said his alcohol problem is fuelling his behaviour and that he doesn't feel remorseful for how he's mistreated those around him, so perhaps it would be better for you to give yourself some space from him. If he doesn't feel he's done anything wrong, it will be hard for you to help him more than you have already. It really does sound like you've tried already and if being in touch with him upsets you perhaps it's best to take a break from him. It's important that you do what's best for you.
And he is going to exploit the shit out of that, because for an addicted person the addiction always comes first.
Do you know what's the worst about these news? That you know about it. Why do you give a shit? You are not doing it right. Cut these people lose. Don't waste a thought for them. Stop informing yourself on their recent whereabouts. I don't know why you are so adamant of being in contact or in any way affiliated with these kinds of people.
I don't know just the fact that she is parading him around like she has won and knows all she has to do is waft money at him
I also feel he will always come out of it smelling of roses
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Let it go. Don't try to observe until he fucks everything up so you can instill your sadistic vein. Stop caring if or how "she has won", this is no contest. Seriously, you are obsessed with those people. It's like a celebrity fandom except with people from the gutter. Let them fuck up their own lives and focus on improving yours. You never get anywhere by being a voyeur to those people.
U are right to a degree just infuriates me how he does what he does and still gets what he wants... As soon as his ex heard he was desperate she just wafted some money at him. I shouldn't care no but people tell me things and hf never seems to fuck up
they are laughing at people
There's been some great advice on here already, I just wanted to drop by and see how things were? I think some people can get under your skin and you can end up spending too much time about them/how they make your feel - and their action and behaviour can wind up making you feel some quite strong, negative feelings.
People who behave like this can be quite toxic and it can be hard to ignore, but perhaps - as others have pointed out, taking some steps away from them will help you get some perspective and reduce the impact of your feelings.
If you can distract yourself with other things/people then I would try doing that for a bit, out of sight, out of mind as they say. If you start thinking about other things, other than the way these two are going about life - then you will find you are thinking about them less and less.
Hope this helps you out a bit :yes:
Its what im trying to do atm... Does seem he is quite addictive no matter how bad he is ;((
So? What you are doing is wrestling with pigs in a mud pool and then let them laugh at you for becoming muddy and dirty. Just walk off and let pigs do pig things and live your own life. But admit it. You like it. You love the drama. You love being involved with these people. You want to see the day when the pig is embarrassed because it's muddy and has shit smeared all over it's body, so you can laugh at it. Think about this. You are concerning yourself with what a pig thinks and does and hope one day it will realize how pitiful it is, if it compares itself with a human being. This day will never come. These people are trash and are not concerned that other people think of them as such. You just stand outside the mud pool and hope the pig will realize how silly it is, but the pig doesn't give a shit. The pig is laughing at you and instead of walking away and realizing a pig will be a pig you jump into the mud and want to wrestle with the pig.
I am not sure if I can become clearer of just how ridiculous I find the premise that you are occupied with what these people think and do instead of just not giving a fuck.
You deserve much better then him. The problem is hes getting what he wants by pulling u around bis little finger and knowing he can get u back anytime without having to try. I know thats not the case because if it wasnt for u falling head over heels in the first place and keeping telling ur self hes using u and thats it then u would of moved on but I still think u can.
Knowing hes with someone else hurts u, seeing them in person hurts u and him not being there for u hurts u. This isnt fair on u and thats why u deserve much better then him and even her. When she knows what hes really like then she will know what u were feeling. This guy doesnt care about anyone but himself.
The only way u can move on is not have nothing to do with him. I know this sounds easy said then done but I know ur a strong, determined person who wont stand for it and by doing that will make u move on and be rid of him. Do u have any family or friends to support u?
There is someone out there for u. Once u know hes not in ur life no more then u can go and find them. They will like u for who u are and wont do those things what ur ex did to u. Your ex will in time get his deserts and that will be the best day of ur life. In the mean time try and think about whats been said.
Hugs x
I know exactly where you're coming from everything u say is true!! U just hope that one day that person falls on their ass and not continually come up smelling of roses