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What would you say if you met God?
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Stumbled across this article recently. It features atheist Stephen Fry being asked what he would say if he met God at the end of his life. The video is here if you want to get straight to the answer he gave. Seems like he provoked quite the facial reaction from the interviewer!
Supposing there is a god, what would you say to the big man at the pearly gates? :chin:
Supposing there is a god, what would you say to the big man at the pearly gates? :chin:
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Gosh, there's loads I'd say, it's hard to have a simple answer for that question. What would you say?
I'm Catholic but right now I would probably say fuck you, you twat.
Ouch! Any reason, Ella? What about before 'right now'?
I one hundred percent second this. I suppose looking at the bigger picture, in my opinion it just doesn't seem possible to truly learn something without experience. And learning, in the long run, is wonderful. It expands your knowledge, your skills, it gives you the exact awareness and understanding that nothing else can give you and it's not something you realise you either need or want until later on down the line. And in a lot of cases, your thankful for it. That's how I feel God comes into it.
*hug* *hug*
I've never really got that as an argument - if God and heaven exist and offer everlasting life free from pain and sorrow etc your life on Earth is but a second compared to it and God would feel no more worry about how shitty your eathly life than a parent feels when a child briefly stubs a toe and feels a couple of moments pain...
That being said: I suspect if I ever encounter God she's most likely a massive, omnipotent douche bag.
I would probably say the same thing then go to Confession and say the Hail Mary prayer.
I agree with both of these. :yes:
If I ever did meet our divine creator I would definitely want a few things answering and that's one of them. Not trying to dig at religious people at all, I just think it's good to ask questions and scrutinise these sorts of things. :chin: I also think its worth realising that the earth, as a whole, is pretty broken. It is not a happy place for a very, very large amount of people. If it was made by a divine, omnipotent God I don't believe they're benevolent in the slightest. I actually asked the question in RE once "what if God's just evil?" and I got surprised and funny looks from the rest of my class. Luckily, my teacher thought it was a good discussion topic.
Have you ever read the Old Testament?
The Old Testament God is an utter bastard.
Nothing will ever change my beliefs
Literally nothing? You cannot conceive of a situation in which you change your religious beliefs?
I love this. :chin:
Literally nothing.
I think it's amazing how sure both sides to this sort of discussion are. Faith is to one person what logic is to the other - they don't need anything else and nothing can sway them. Unstoppable force meets immovable object, sort of thing. Props to both, in my opinion.
Do have anything in particular in mind when you say that?
Do you believe that faith and logic are equivalent ways of discerning what is likely true from what isn't?
Would you extend props to the two diametrically opposed camps of witch burning: Camp A - those who are convinced witches are real and should be discovered and burned for their crimes; Camp B - those who are convinced witches are a fiction and that the burning of women for an impossible crime is utterly inhumane. Both utterly rigid in their beliefs.
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.
I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?
And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
I'm an atheist myself, but I don't have anything against people who have that much faith in their beliefs. The moment I start to have a problem with things is the moment it starts costing lives, such as the case with jihad. I think people are open to believe what they like and if its true to them, then that's all that matters.
If you're asking about my beliefs... I think logic conquers the vast majority of questions. I struggle to believe things without some form of scientific evidence. But, that's just me.
It's from a Jim Carey film I believe - Bruce Almighty!!
From a Christian point of view, i'm going to sit back and enjoy reading everyone's comments and keep my points of view to myself as we'd be here all day!!!!! :hyper:
It would be cool to have your input. Please don't feel you can't speak your mind!
I believe there is probably an omnipotent being, but what struggles me with religion is the last step of suffering.
I'm on board with this. Would you call yourself a Deist, Kate?
As a kid I did. As I got older and went into adulthood I wanted to. It's a really nice thought, a big man in the sky who cares about me and what I do, what I get up to, and administers justice to all who live here.
The truth is that there are simply too many holes in the story.
This omnipotent and omniscient being who loves us all and answers all our prayers takes our children away with cancer, or allows aircraft to crash, or allows the pet dog to get run over. He could stop it- he's omnipotent- and knows we'll be devastated- he's omniscient- but somehow he chooses to let it happen. Sounds like a complete bastard to me.
The alternative, that there's an Intelligent Designer, is no more credible. God created everything and everyone, he's completely omnipotent and omniscient, yet now he sits on his hands and does nothing? Yeah, right.
I want to believe in Santa Claus too- a lovely big man who comes and gives me stuff- or the tooth fairy, but they're not real either.
I don't judge people for wanting the comfort of religion- it's really quite a nice safety blanket, although one that the organised religions demand you pay through the nose for- but that's all it is. The truth is we are extraordinarily lucky to be here, literally at odds of billions of billions to one, but there is no greater meaning than that. There is no afterlife and there is almost certainly no God.
Thanks for sharing, Arctic Roll. Interesting story. :chin: I like to think I'm in the same sort of camp as you but I love to speculate.
I suppose so, yes. I have read the bible and know what it says, but it's not necessarily what I live by.