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Would you ever forgive cheating within a relationship?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just been chatting to some builders who are doing some work where I work...and they've inspired me to post this thread. These two builders travel all around the country working - and they just told me that they are no faithful to their wives at all! :eek:

I always told my ex that if he so much as touched another woman, that I would leave him. It so happens he left me for another woman. Fine. Great. But we carried on seeing each other on and off for months afterwards (we broke up because of the distance, and we were supposed to be getting back together etc - eternal love blah blah) - all the while he had another girlfriend going back home!!!

Could not believe it. My faith in men is non existent at the moment! Are there no men (or women) who can swear hand on heart to be faithful under any circumstances?

:eek:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Each relationship is different and each has there own level of trust, personally, if i was in love then yes i would be faithful, i have a lack of trust in men due to past relationships where i have been messed around.
    I'd like to think i would remain faithful but you just never know, the least someone can be is honest.

    Wow, i sound all mature!!! This is a first for me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hard to say, I'm almost all was honest about my life (Up to a point) . I'm open and honest with gf's so hopefully if there were a problem I or she could approach the subject

    I think that one of the main reason people cheat, There is a problem in the relationship and no one talks about it, so after time you drift apart and you finally meet someone else and Bang boom you hit it off and the cheating begins

    I think I could forgive someone if they cheated on me, All depends why they did it
    Are there no men (or women) who can swear hand on heart to be faithful under any circumstances?

    No. that would be stupid to even try say they could, and anyone that does is lying to themselves.
    I always told my ex that if he so much as touched another woman, that I would leave him. It so happens he left me for another woman. Fine. Great. But we carried on seeing each other on and off for months afterwards

    Sorry to sound harsh but where were you morals when you bf left you for another woman and still carried on seeing you?!?

    Why did you not leave him right away? (Sorry if I'm out of line, But I really do want to know why you stayed with the rat)

    It so easy to say on here how we would act if it happened to us but we very rarely follow through in real life.

    A thing call "Love" stands in our way
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't believe I could readily forgive someone who cheated in a relationship. If she cheats once, what's stopping her from cheating again?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no way

    i realise i lack experience but i dont think i could ever forgive cheating. I dont think i will always be faithful in relationships but that will show that the relationship is not working and the reason for my cheating will be lack of care for my partner. Therefore if anyone cheats on me (it has happened to me once) i cannot forgive because they do not really care for me. i am the jealous (and paranoid) type too so im sure thoughts of cheating will cause problems for me sooner or later...

    ah well, life's a bitch an then ya die.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Having been cheated on in the past, I know it's not nice, especially if its a serious relationship. This probably would make me less likely to cheat on someone in the future, and I think it's unlikely that I'll ever cheat on anyone.

    But, like Harmless says, I couldn't swear hand on heart that I wouldn't cheat under any circumstances. Things have a funny way of turning out. I can't see myself cheating, but I've got no idea what the future is gonna hold.

    But I'd like to think I'd never cheat, and I don't think it's in my nature to do so.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and to answer the original question, no I could never forgive cheating in a relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its never happened to me but I think if it happened once I may forgive him, but Id never forget. Hed have a real hard time after from me and Id probably not even let him go to the loo by himself if you know what I mean.

    But as far as i am concerned if you are in a relationship you can look but DO NOT touch. I have been divorced and now re-married. What happened was I met my current husband, really fancied him and he felt the same about me, We spoke a few times but we did not start any relationship till I left my then husband. And ive been happily married ever since :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. Would never forgive cheating in a relationship.
    Posted by Harmless [QB]No. that would be stupid to even try say they could, and anyone that does is lying to themselves.[/qb]

    It's called honesty. I can never see myself cheating because I'm too honest. Trust is what defines a relationship; lie and it's over.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope, I couldn't forgive anyone who cheated on me.
    For Example....My best mate just cheated on her boyfriend with my ex, and I was fuming! Her boyfriend even took her back, and forgave her for it. :eek: Personally, I think he's a schmuk!!! But, thats just my opinion!
    Beth xXx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I could forgive - as long as it was just a ons or something like this - not a longer affair - but than the guy has to forgive me too if I'll ever have a ons too :p
    I think there's a difference between love and sex - I'm not sure if I'll ever find a guy sharing my opinion - i need some freedom even in a relationship - and I'm not sure if I could promise to be faithful all the time.
    I'm a very honest person and I cannot lie and I think I'll stay single for a very very long time :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In a word. No.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    circumstances arise n shit happens, I've been cheated on before, and forgiven, and been cheated on n told the guy to go to hell - u cant say the same for every situation... I've also made mistakes n cheated, I 'fessed up straight away n lost the guy but hey... ya live n learn... I'd never do it again
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless

    Sorry to sound harsh but where were you morals when you bf left you for another woman and still carried on seeing you?!?

    Why did you not leave him right away? (Sorry if I'm out of line, But I really do want to know why you stayed with the rat)


    It was really weird. He rang me up one night, (just before I was going to work) and he said 'I can't give you the love you need, blah blah...and there's another woman I like, and I don't know if I can resist her anymore.'

    We broke up.

    About 2 months later we met up, slept together, but he said that it hadn't worked out with the other woman and that he was single.

    LIttle did I know that he was seeing this other woman all along, and I had no idea. I was so upset. :(

    Still, plenty more fish in the sea. :cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Baby


    It was really weird. He rang me up one night, (just before I was going to work) and he said 'I can't give you the love you need, blah blah...and there's another woman I like, and I don't know if I can resist her anymore.'

    We broke up.

    About 2 months later we met up, slept together, but he said that it hadn't worked out with the other woman and that he was single.

    LIttle did I know that he was seeing this other woman all along, and I had no idea. I was so upset. :(

    Still, plenty more fish in the sea. :cool:


    Sounds like a very nice bloke:rolleyes:

    Please don't tell me you want to get back with him tho?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A lot of this is all very good but nobody really knows what they'll do until they are put into cetain situations which pressurize their beliefs.

    When I was 21 I would have said I would never cheat and would never forgive cheating.

    I still believe that I would never cheat. However, I know that while I wish to believe that this is true, I have never been put in a situation where I've even wanted to. Whether I ever will is something I can't know.

    On the other hand I've come to accept that this is actually a rare view point and I don't really know anybody, other than myself, who has never cheated on somebody. Therefore when I have relationships I know it is likely that at some point, be it after 2months or 10years, you are likely to have to deal with the issue.

    The question is, do you truly love someone if you can't forgive their cheating? I don't think so. This is of course similar to the point that if you truly love someone you won't stop them leaving you for someone else, full stop. These things are very hard to do in reality but when you think about them they are hard to deny.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless



    Sounds like a very nice bloke:rolleyes:

    Please don't tell me you want to get back with him tho?


    No way!!! :rolleyes:

    I've met someone lovely at work. He just came in now for 10 minutes because he's just come back from holiday. I was sooooo shy and I went so red! great! just GREAT. *sighs :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by snowdance
    A lot of this is all very good but nobody really knows what they'll do until they are put into cetain situations which pressurize their beliefs.

    When I was 21 I would have said I would never cheat and would never forgive cheating.

    I still believe that I would never cheat. However, I know that while I wish to believe that this is true, I have never been put in a situation where I've even wanted to. Whether I ever will is something I can't know.

    On the other hand I've come to accept that this is actually a rare view point and I don't really know anybody, other than myself, who has never cheated on somebody. Therefore when I have relationships I know it is likely that at some point, be it after 2months or 10years, you are likely to have to deal with the issue.

    The question is, do you truly love someone if you can't forgive their cheating? I don't think so. This is of course similar to the point that if you truly love someone you won't stop them leaving you for someone else, full stop. These things are very hard to do in reality but when you think about them they are hard to deny.


    But if you love someone then why not be hurt if they want to be with someone else? If they are so committed to being with another, then they don't truly love you, no?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Baby



    No way!!! :rolleyes:

    I've met someone lovely at work. He just came in now for 10 minutes because he's just come back from holiday. I was sooooo shy and I went so red! great! just GREAT. *sighs :(

    LoL, Well hang in there girl, I'm sure you get him.

    Good luck:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. If I was cheated on, I would finish the relationship, irrespective of its length and seriousness.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did.

    Never again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was my ex husband`s second wife. His first wife had cheated on him and that was why they split up, so he swore he could never do that to anyone else because he knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end.

    Unfortunately that didn`t actually stop him cheating on me. He told me straight away and I forgave him because we had children, and as he said it was a one night stand I thought we might have something worth salvaging. He also said he`d learned his lesson, he had too much to lose and he`d never do it again.

    So why did he go on a couple of years later to have a full blown affair then? :mad: Needless to say I wasn`t sticking around for thirds. I don`t think I could forgive my other half now if he cheated on me because I`d be expecting him to do it again. :( As for cheating on him... I can`t imagine it. I know only too well the heartache it causes, and it`s just not worth it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by onenatcons



    But if you love someone then why not be hurt if they want to be with someone else? If they are so committed to being with another, then they don't truly love you, no?

    Sure but love is not always reciprocated.
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