Lesbian not lols

Former Member

hi guys... I've never posted before and am new so here goes...

I am a lesbian and am finding it hard to come to terms with it. I am quite masculine and people often tease me about being manly by calling me 'gay' however they are not aware of the fact that I am and them using it as an insult is making my situation worse.

Any ideas on how to be more comfortable would be great. Thanx :yes:

Former Member

Hey Welcome to the boards!

I'm sorry that your going through a tough time at the minute. Coming to terms with your sexuality can be really scary, I know from personal experiences, so these people who are teasing you obviously aren't helping the matter.

Have you told anyone about you being lesbian? A friend, family member etc? Doing this can really release some of the weight. What do you think?

As for feeling more comfortable, its really hard to say exactly how to do that because its something I'm struggling with that myself. However people have told me that it comes with time. Be kind to yourself. No one is exactly the same, that's what is so great about humans. 😜

Speak soon!!

Former Member

I agree, I have told two of my closest friends and they are fine with it, as for family my parents brushed it aside with a your too young to really know but seem to be warming to the idea.

Thankyou for the reply- hope your struggles work out

Al

Former Member

Aleaf wrote: »

I agree, I have told two of my closest friends and they are fine with it, as for family my parents brushed it aside with a your too young to really know but seem to be warming to the idea.

Thankyou for the reply- hope your struggles work out

Al

Sorry to hear about your parents not taking it too well. Often, parents find it hard to accept things like this just because of the different generations etc.

Former Member

Indeed. Although my experience could have been considerably worse off

Former Member

Hi Aleaf, welcome to the boards :wave:

It seems like you have some support but at the same time you're still struggling with coming to terms with things. Such an adjustment can be hard so what you're feeling is completely natural.

Is it fair to say you're still struggling because of what people are saying/teasing/reacting like?
Or do you think you still feel unsure about your sexuality?
Being teased like this will hurt and is really unfair and certainly not a true representation of who you are :no:

Have a look at our article on coming out - as well as the website Rucomingout which is full of people sharing their stories.

There is no rule that says you have to fully label yourself now or at anytime -whether it be in terms of sexuality or other aspects. People tend to want to place others in a "box" in order to understand them, but this doesn't have to be the case.

Perhaps trying to focus on the positive support you have from friends and trying to forget the negatives from others can help. Give yourself time to adjust and follow what you feel. People will unfortunately always have something to criticise but standing strong in yourself can make their criticism fade in your mind *hug*

Former Member

thankyou I will look at those things

Former Member

I know exactly where your coming from I knew I liked girls from a young age I came out to my family when I was 16 my parents made fun of me and made me feel like it was wrong as a result of this I ended up dating guys but I was never happy but it came to a point where I moved out of home and I was free to date who I wanted without caring about other peoples views people always said to me you don't look like a lesbian your too pretty to be gay and that really annoys me just because I am a girly girl people seems to think i can't be gay

Former Member

Hi,

I also got the response that I look too girly to be a lesbian like titchblonde, I think it can work both ways because people tend put labels on you and have a certain idea of what a gay person looks like and it does get to you. I felt like I should of been trying to fit in with the norm. But whatever the situation is I think the main things are time and support. Over time if you are kind to yourself you will feel better about who you are but also if you try to surround yourself with support and talk to more people who don't judge you for who you are or what you look like whether it's online or face to face it will make those who make fun of you less significant.


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