Home Drink & Drugs
Ongoing maintenance - the boards are undergoing some ongoing, intermittent maintenance. Pages might load slightly slower than usual and there may be very short periods where the boards are offline.

Drinking.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I remember making a thread about alcohol a while back when I was drinking to feel merry but stopping myself from getting drunk. I don't know how long it has been since then but I'm so reliant on alcohol right now - I want to feel merry, I want to feel confident, most importantly I want to forget.

Drinking makes me happy but it has never made me forget. It eases the thoughts for a while but they never fully cease but I don't think that disappoints me because I am absolutely in love with alcohol and the affect it gives me. I drink to get past drunk.

I couldn't care less whether it damages me or not - that would probably be a bonus. It's money I'm struggling with at the moment as I have quite a few commitments I need to fulfil but when I run out of alcohol I will happily go to the shop and buy some more (usually vodka) and it's so expensive for the amount you get.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to gain from posting this thread. I talk about it being expensive but I know I don't want to stop and I know I won't, particularly while I have so much building up in my mind.

I guess having to buy so much all of the time is adding to my stress levels - maybe this is just another selfish moan.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well you don't want to stop, so yeah.

    Alcohol is a depressant, it'll affect you more in the future, you'll forget temporarily but your problems will always follow sobriety. You said it yourself...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    you'll forget temporarily but your problems will always follow sobriety. You said it yourself...

    Yes but I do still get the feeling of merry that I crave, I still get the confidence that I crave - these are two things that I don't get from anything else.

    The alcohol itself isn't a problem. I'd say the biggest problem are the crash's I get when the effects wear off but I know that's not something that can be helped.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,156 Skive's The Limit
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    Alcohol is a depressant,

    Alcohol is classed a depressant because it depresses your central nervous system - it slows the breathing, reaction time, and relaxes the muscles. It's classification as a depressant has nothing to do with mood or feeling depressed.

    Sounds confusing but some of the most effective anti depressants are depressants class drugs (though alcohol is not considered on of them).
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Sounds confusing but some of the most effective anti depressants are depressants class drugs (though alcohol is not considered on of them).

    Alcohol should be considered one of them because it definitely works - that's why so many people drink without worrying that it might kill them one day.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,156 Skive's The Limit
    Alcohol should be considered one of them because it definitely works - that's why so many people drink without worrying that it might kill them one day.

    If it worked then it would be one of the approved medicines for treatment of depression. It isn't.

    The reason for this is that alcohol has many side effects, and it use to treated depression, especially by self medication is likely to exacerbate the problem. Self medication of any drug is likely to lead to dependence, and alcohol addiction is one worst and most damaging addictions there is.

    To benefit from the sedative and depressant properties of alcohol , the amount you need to consume is not healthy. It may be worth speaking to your doctor. If he/she deems it correct they can prescribe other medication that can give you that sedative effect without so many side effects.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Self medication of any drug is likely to lead to dependence, and alcohol addiction is one worst and most damaging addictions there is.

    Okay, which I'm not dismissing, but it does still help with depression - why do you think people do get addicted? It's very unlikely to be for fun. I do think it would be an approved medicine if you were unable to get as much as you possibly can, whenever you want.

    Nothing would be worth giving up alcohol for, absolutely nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that's why alcohol is classed as a depressant, but I'm sure there's a long term link between alcohol consumption and depression - it's gets to certain point where it affects that persons life and they're out of control, though most still stay in that cycle.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,156 Skive's The Limit
    but it does still help with depression - why do you think people do get addicted? It's very unlikely to be for fun. I do think it would be an approved medicine if you were unable to get as much as you possibly can, whenever you want.

    It may temporarily appear to alleviate depression but in the medium to long term it does far more harm than good. Evidence shows that people who consume high amounts of alcohol are vulnerable to higher levels of mental ill health and it can be a contributory factor in some mental illnesses, such as depression.

    I'm afraid the evidence is that alcohol is going to make your mental health problems worse, and this is why it's not an approved treatment for depression. Ask your doctor if they recommend alcohol to alleviate depression. The answer will be a resounding NO.
    JavaKrypt wrote:
    I know that's why alcohol is classed as a depressant, but I'm sure there's a long term link between alcohol consumption and depression

    You're right, there is a proven link between alcohol consumption and mental health issues. I just wanted out that the term depressant has nothing to do with depression- it's a common belief that depressant drugs make you depressed, but this is not what depressant means.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not my fault that I feel alcohol is my only real coping mechanism - I don't always choose for horrible things to happen to me, I don't always choose for people to treat me like shit, and I certainly don't choose depression, that's just the way life goes and if drinking gets me through all of that then fab. Yes I know I'm weak and I've become very reliant on drinking but I don't completely blame myself for that.

    Telling me I need to stop, I'm going to get worse, basically saying I'm so uneducated on this that it's stupid - comments like that aren't helpful. I appreciate your time and advice but obviously I'm much too far beyond help and as I mentioned, I don't want to involve professionals with this because I'm not willing to stop any time soon, so ignore me and my petty problems.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,156 Skive's The Limit
    I'm not trying to make you look stupid Butterfly, I just wanted you and anybody else that reads this, to understand that alcohol is not a treatment for mental health issues. I hope you feel better soon.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I focus on the now, when I'm struggling, and alcohol helps me with that. It makes me feel merry and confident for a period of time and I love it. I am listening - I'm not dismissing what you're all saying, I'm not denying that it might kill me but I honestly don't care if that happens. It might even be that I am on some sort of suicide mission. Yes I do want to feel better but I really do highly doubt that's ever going to happen. I appreciate all of your replies though guys and I'm sorry for my slightly snappy reply the other day Skive.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    It might even be that I am on some sort of suicide mission. Yes I do want to feel better but I really do highly doubt that's ever going to happen.

    Hey butterfly, I just wanted to drop in and reply to this as I'm sure lots of people will be worried seeing this post and I didn't want to let your most difficult feelings go left unmentioned. It's clear you're really battling with yourself here and it isn't easy to admit what's going on.

    The fact that you're being so honest is a step in the right direction though - if you're feeling merry and confident for a period when you're drinking then unless you find other things in life to make you feel that way, then it's unlikely, as you say, that you're going to give it up. However, from the outside, we can see that there is potential for you to be merry and confident in other ways if you let yourself be.

    I know in the past you have talked about other things giving you some sense of fulfilment and I wondered how you would feel about setting yourself some early resolutions for exploring some of these again? Whether it be your art work, some volunteering (there are more and more opportunities online that you could potentially explore) or maybe some more UK travels in 2015?

    I also just wanted to post to give you a framework for thinking about your drinking and how things could be different:


    Benefits of drinking:

    It helps me forget about my problems.
    I have fun when I drink.
    It?s my way of relaxing and unwinding after a stressful day.

    Benefits of not drinking:

    My relationships would probably improve.
    I?d feel better mentally and physically.
    I?d have more time and energy for the people and activities I care about.

    Costs of drinking:

    It has caused problems in my relationships.
    I feel depressed, anxious, and ashamed of myself.
    It gets in the way of my job performance and family responsibilities.

    Costs of not drinking

    I?d have to find another way to deal with problems.
    I?d lose my drinking buddies.
    I would have to face the responsibilities I?ve been ignoring.

    I'm not saying all of these relate to your situation, but I'm sure you can identify a few of them. I guess at the heart of this is you being willing to recognize you have it in you to find another way to be confident. There is no quick fix, but I think the fact you're posting about this suggests that deep down you may be worried about what the future may look like if you continue down this path. The info above is something you can return to when you're doubting there's a reason to take control of your drinking - there will be ups and downs and it will take time, but if you want to, then you can move forward (See Jo's quote in your signature).

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I appreciate your reply.

    I'd love to be able to get back into Art at least just as a hobby but my motivation simply doesn't exist nowadays. I've done something online before that I really enjoyed so I'd love to gradually build on volunteering. I want to travel more but I even freak out when I see a train just pulling up that I know I should be getting on.

    I feel like everything is a false hope. When I'm able to take part in any of the above, I absolutely adore it but then when it's over I'm back to square one.

    It seems like it's all for nothing. I'm trying, I must be trying if I'm still alive, but then I realise what I've just said is the same with alcohol - I love it until it wears off, then I'm back to square one. So what's the difference? Which makes me realise that I really probably am slowly trying to kill myself - that's the one thing I'm evidently succeeding with.

    But then when I do drink, I genuinely just drink for the feelings I get from it. I'm like a different person and I've recently started wanting to drink purely for confidence at times. I wonder how I'd feel about getting on a train if I was tipsy-drunk? I wonder how I'd feel about meeting the same person that usually just scares me if I was tipsy-drunk. Maybe I'd be laughing? Maybe I'd ease it with the way I might behave with alcohol in my system at the time? Maybe I'd just be fine? I feel like, whatever the situation, I'd genuinely be okay with it because I'd be too wasted to care there and then.

    I do identify with some of the points you've mentioned. I just don't know what's right, what's wrong, what I even completely feel. It's all exhausting.
Sign In or Register to comment.