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Back - drugged up to the eye balls!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm back after not being on for a while but thats my own fault, I've been over dosing big time I'm sincerely surprised I'm still alive! Plus I've been taking my own medication which are high doses, so I've basically been drugged up to the eye balls and drinking a lot, well over my 4 - 6 cans a day limit. I'm in self destruct mode. I got my outpatients appointment at mental health hospital in just under 2 weeks and the mood I've been in and feeling VERY detached from my self, I'm likely to punch or stab anyone in site.
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I'm glad you've come back It's OK to have times when you need to do your own thing, but it's really good that your coming back for support now as it sounds like you're really struggling.
You say you have a mental health hospital appointment in just under two weeks. It sounds like it would be really worth calling them to arrange an emergency appointment. They should be pleased to know that you're able to recognise when you need support and to ask for it.
It would be worth getting some support for the amount of drugs and alcohol you're taking as well - it sounds like you know that you're taking a risky amount. You could look up a local service to help with drug use here: http://www.addaction.org.uk/service-finder.asp?section=98§ionTitle=Service+finder
We're here for you, so do let us know how you're doing
Can I ask about relatives or friends? Anyone close to you that you tend to talk to? *hug*
Thanks for coming back to us. I'm glad to hear you've accessed services before and have had some success with putting a cap on your drinking.
I just wanted to drop in and let you know that you're not wasting anyone's time when you reach out for help - on the flip side, people can feel there time isn't put to best use if there's a sense that something bad could have been prevented if the person needing help had the confidence to recognise they truly deserved it earlier. I hear what you're saying about being 'not one to go...' and so I'm wondering if you're able to say a bit more about that - are you aware of what it is holding you back from continuing to seek help?
I know that many people (including myself at times) can feel that needing to seek help is a weakness, but really that's our self-conscious, vulnerable thoughts taking over. Choosing to take control of a situation and accepting help where needed is actually one of the greatest strengths any human can display.
Finally, I just wanted to remind you (as I'm sure this might be something people have told you in the past) that relapse is a perfectly natural part of recovery and no drugs worker worth their salt (deserving of respect) will try and deny this or try and make out that they weren't expecting to need to provide you with some ongoing encouragement and motivation to stick the the plan agreed.
Please do keep talking to us about this let us know how you're feeling if you can.
If you want somewhere to talk without any level of suggestion then Samaritans is always a good option for that too
Also agree with butterfly about keeping others close.
You say,
It takes strength and self-awareness to admit that. If you feel afraid to admit it to your mum or sister then perhaps you could just make a plan to do something together as a distraction this week? Isolating yourself is likely to make you feel worse. The simple company of others can often be a fantastic support.
Is there anything else that has helped in the past when the urges have been this strong?
Well done for reaching out here, whilst we can see that you are vulnerable we don't believe that it's a weakness to speak up. Other charities that provide support also have this belief so if you need it then as Helen mentioned, contacting Samaritans is a good option to get things off your chest and they wont pass on anything that you say.
Let us know how you're getting on .