Homosexual versus Hetrosexual desires

Former Member

Hello everyone

Im new to the site so i hope i've posted in the right place. I should have titled this homosexual versus hetrosexual desires I seem to have both.

I'm a male 32 and have previously identified as "straight." Although i have slept with one man and enjoyed it.

I am often overwhelmed by my desire for man to man intimacy and the need to pleasure another man and also to be penetrated. I dont know whether the way forward is to explore it. The difficulty is that when i see myself in an LTR id hope it was with a woman. This conflicts with my idea of being straight.

It is a little bit confusing for me at the minute and quite stressful. I have started seeing a therapist with whom i'll be exploring these issues. I am hoping to find clarity. So it would be great to discuss these issues with ppl who understand - if there's anyone out there!

Former Member

Hi there Sensualsoul32 :wave:

I'm really pleased you have found TheSite, it's a great community and supportive space to talk about stuff. :yes:

I was reading your post and what's clear is that you do seem to be going through a very challenging and confusing time in terms of your sexual orientation. You mentioned in your post that you had previously had a sexual encounter with a guy, and that you enjoyed this; I wonder, have you had a relationship with a guy in the past, or was this a purely physical thing? How would you feel about having a relationship with a guy, is that something you would consider - as you mentioned that you could only really see yourself in an LTR with a woman?

Sexuality can be something that takes a while to understand, and it's important to remember that it's just one aspect of who you are. Here are TheSite we have some great articles that you might like to have a read through, such as exploring your sexuality as well as bisexuality, which you might find helpful. http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/sexuality/exploring-your-sexuality-3353.html
http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/sexuality/bi-curious-3349.html

It can be a very confusing time, and it's natural that you are feeling conflicted. It might be an idea to consider contacting the Lesbian & Gay Switchboard on 020 7837 7324, to talk to someone who can identify with your situation and offer your further support and advice.

Being honest with yourself and about what you like sexually is important, and it sounds like you are taking the right steps by sharing how you feel with us.

Former Member

Thankyou Tamsinjo The articles have been interesting to read thanks.

I couldnt really see myself in a relationship with a guy - it is purley a physical thing.

Former Member

I have been somewhat the same position - I've slept with a few women, even had short term relationships but I have wanted to have a biological family of my own and I don't think IVF is morally right plus I happened to fall in love with a guy again and I'm ok with that. If you still feel you then need to act upon those desired when coupled up there comes the problem!

Former Member

Thanks Miss Riot. Yes it's this potential problems that worries me!