Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Worried about making love...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello, I'm hoping someone could give me some advice.

First of all, my boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now. I love him so much and he means everything to me.

He wants to make love to me and take away my virginity but the problem I'm very scared. I am scared of the pain and how it is going to be.

We have been trying but I always tell him to stop because of the pain. We have tried lube and foreplay but it just doesn't seem to be working.

I know I want to make love to him and let him take it from me but I just can't get past the fear of it all. I have anxiety to, which doesn't help the situation.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, thank you :)

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try more foreplay. Does any kind of insertion hurt? Like a finger or a tampon too? Or just if it stretches you out?

    If it's the first, it's bad news and you should see a doctor (could be Vaginismus), if it's the latter you just need more foreplay. also you should be at ease. Being tense and nervous is not helping. Maybe don't start out with the mindset that you're going to have sex, but just lie naked next to each other/kiss/touch each other for a considerable amount of time. You should be relaxed and then where you are good and ready, go for it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would add to StrubbleS suggestions - oral sex is a good place to start as well. It's something you can do to each other at the same time and it's more about sharing the moment rather than actual penetration and you can work up to that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The best thing to do is always take your time & enjoy yourself.

    You should never rush into anything, you should never feel pressured into doing anything you're not comfortable with, & when the time is right you will know.
Sign In or Register to comment.