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Would you be offended?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you were presented with this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000FC1PRKpc_redir=1414049893&robot_redir=1

My lovely MrRiot isn't bad in bed by any means, but a large part of the problem is that he doesn't try that often or put that much effort into it. My pleasure in the sack has taken a huge back seat an I feel for my birthday this should be my present to him. But I realise it could be an ego basher.

What's the general consensus on it?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Link is dead, but I can assume what it is. That just screams passive-aggressive to me. How about I give you, "10 ways to lose weight" for your birthday? "Oh no, baby, it's not cause you're fat... It's just... you know... can't hurt if you... get back into the shape that you had when we first met, maybe?" If you are unsatisfied how thinks work (not just specifically the bedroom) bring it up in a non-accusatory way and see if he is interested to help you out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On making the same assumptions as the guys above...

    I think it's a bad idea. I mean have you even had a chat about what you would like to be different? If you've never had a conversation then how is he meant to know? And some book won't tell him what you like. I really believe that honest and frequent conversation about sex is the best way to have a good sex life.

    I once bought an ex a book on positions, but I think that was different as it was something we had already discussed... We both wanted to branch out and stop the awkward googling beforehand :naughty:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or... maybe introducing something kinky into the relationship to spice it up. Make him get the fire again. Guys are physical creatures. Be creative have fun. :)

    Me personally. If I saw other dudes checking out my girl that would make me competitive and id try harder to please her. Especially in the bedroom. Remind him of what he's got. Next time your out wear something sexy and just bat your eye at another dude just enough to get him to check you out in front of your bf. Make him remember what he has. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's the book she comes first. It specially talks about cunnilingus amongst other things which don't involve penetration

    We have had this conversation every time he doesn't want to have sex/every time he wants to have sex but doesn't have much time (so much so I have banned sex without foreplay) since then we haven't had sex. We are often pushed for time or are looking after his son so don't have many opportunities but I have spoken to him about it and he blames it on being tired/stressed etc which is why he wants to do quick, but I've told him he may as well take a wank for all the enjoyment I get from a very quick before work thing. Tbh his libido has taken a tumble but I can't remember the last time he actually put effort into sex. I guess this book would me pushing the point of him putting more effort because he used to and it was great but now he's too tired or stressed.

    Xxshyguyxx - he really wouldn't appreciate that, a lot of his previous gfs have cheated on him and I'm not about to do anything that would cause him to think I would
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not only do I think we would be offended, it would only push him farther away from enjoying giving oral. Maybe he just doesn't like it? The only way to find out and a solution is by further talking about it. It sounds like he is giving excuses, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Giving him the book will only make him resent you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok... I wonder if I can look at it in a different way. What things do guys find romantic? We were a bit hungover and we actually did things we haven't done for months so I think things are now changing, but heck I know how hard it is to keep to romance and have a decent sex life when you have kids! Any ideas? I may get the version for women because it's always good to brush up on technique I guess.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    It sounds like time pressures are a real problem for you guys at the moment. Would you be able to arrange some time separate from everything that you both know is for intimate time together? It can be exciting to have a date like that to look forward to. You could even let him know about a few things that you'd like to do so he's thinking about them in advance.

    How's MrRiot about talking sex? The "I really loved it when you did that, could we do that again this weekend?" route can be a good one, as can "I've been fantasising about us doing things, I'd really love to try this with you". They both make it personal and complimentary to him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We were going to have a date on Saturday but he has flu and I've been kept in over night in hospital after having a scan so that's out of the window :(

    He's not very good at talking dirty at all. I might keep trying I think he's just a little shy when it comes to it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think there's a difference between talking about sex and 'talking dirty'
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