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Bail conditions in relation to domestic assault- urgent advice needed
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Last night my boyfriend was taken into custody for domestic and sexual assault. He was having some form of psychotic break which ended nastily and when I attempted to call an ambulance for him to be taken into hospital, I was taken in instead for head/eye injuries and the police were called. My issue is the fact I do not wish to press charges, nor do I think it would be good for either of us if he were to be released on bail conditions (whereby I cannot contact him and he can't contact me). He has a very poor relationship with his family and his pregnant ex. It has resulted in him ending up in hospital for attempting to take his own life because he couldn't deal with the situation. I'm worried because the bail conditions will force him to move back to his family and his abusive ex. Additionally, I have been going through a really tough time and he has been my only form of support, so the thought of losing him when I've already lost so much has made me consider taking my own life as well. If he is banned from seeing me it means I will not be receiving enough income to pay my rent so I will also face homelessness if he cannot contact me so I really don't know what to do.
I was wondering if any one has had any experience of this and whether there are steps I could take to ensure he is released without bail conditions because I honestly don't think I can cope with the stress of this and I'd rather die than live without him.
I was wondering if any one has had any experience of this and whether there are steps I could take to ensure he is released without bail conditions because I honestly don't think I can cope with the stress of this and I'd rather die than live without him.
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Comments
I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend's psychosis has led to you being sexually assaulted. This must be a confusing and upsetting time for the both of you and it's understandable that the police are keen to keep you safe, despite the fact that you're not wishing to press charges. Your situation is complex and it sounds like you're relying on each other in different ways, both emotionally and financially which further complicates things.
It sounds like you could both do with support outside of your relationship to ease this dependency on one another an also so that you feel less responsible. Are you both currently getting any professional support? Over the coming days and week's the impact of these events may well start to sink in and it's important that you have someone to talk to.
So I'm going to suggest some links for emotional support around sexual assault and also some links to where you should be able to get some advice around the legal side of things.
You can use this search tool to find the sexual assault referral centre in your area: http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Rape-and-sexual-assault-referral-centres/LocationSearch/364
You can also contact the free, 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or contact Rape Crisis. They are specialists in this area and will be able to refer you to the relevant contacts in order to work through your next steps.
If you are experiencing suicidal feelings yourself then we'd suggest speaking to your GP as a first port of call, you can also contact Samaritans for a listening ear at any time of the day or night via phone, email or text: http://www.samaritans.org/
Let us know how you get on with these suggestions *hug*