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harm & feelings

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Comments

  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Poppy,

    I'm glad you gave posting ago, were here if you need a chat lovely *hug*s!

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Poppy
    Whats up?

    We are here if you need some support.

    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like the others have said, the boards are here if you wanna talk about anything that might be on your mind or worrying you

    Hope you're okay :heart:

    Sent by Sony Xperia
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Poppy,

    What's up? Would you like to chat?

    We are a non judgemental group so give us a try and we will try and help/give advice if we can :)


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is unrelated to my original post.
    I am quite unwell so haven't been as aware as usual and my mum has seen some of my self harm. Luckily she only saw the harm on the bottom of my legs which doesn't look like usual harm or what I see as usual so I managed to get away with pretending I'm not sure what they are but that they've been there for a while so they're nothing to worry about.
    So I should be calmer that I got away with it but now I'm worrying because this particular coping method is what I do the most because it's easier and it's probably the safest of all but now I can't do it. I'm also worrying because whenever I'm this poorly I usually end up in hospital because I cause myself to dehydrate because I don't even try and manage fluid. My stomach is painful already. I'm at the point where there's nothing at all in my system but I'm still being sick so it's just really painful.
    If I end up in hospital then there's no doubt that people will see most of my self harm because I know the routine now. I know where they check, where they put drips, where they take blood from for tests and so on.
    Being so unwell is also making my mental health worse.

    I feel like this is the last straw. Trying to fight this illness is taking twice as much energy and twice as much effort than usual and I haven't got enough energy or effort to do it. I literally can't even get out of bed, I can't even do any of the usual things I'd do to cope. I don't have any idea how I'm supposed to do all of this at once.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi poppy,

    It sounds like you're worried about what will happen if, without much warning, you find yourself in a situation (perhaps in hospital) where the staff are likely to see evidence of your self harm. I can also sense there is a bit of a battle going on here in your head - part of you wants to fight and part of your is just exhausted from trying and lost at how to cope as it all feels pretty big?

    Does that sounds right?

    I wonder, what would it have been like for you to be honest with your mum when she spotted some some evidence of your harm recently? Is this something you've ever been able to talk to her about before?

    The thing is with self harm is that at some point it's likely that you'll need to open up about it. It's understandably a very scary thing to do because of all the potential for bad reactions and consequences that see you back in hospital or out of control in some way. However, it's the best way to finally get the support that you 100% deserve.

    It might help to have a think about what you would like to share or say to anyone in hospital if you do find yourself in this situation so that you can at least be a little prepared?

    Finally I just wanted to mention how mental and physical health are ever so closely linked. A healthy body can lead to a healthy mind and visa versa but somewhere along the way you have to allow yourself the care that you would give to others in your situation.

    Let us know how you're getting on *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you. Mum knew about self harm in the past but that was not by choice and I was angry.
    If I'm ever in forced hospital situation I will hide and I will stay hidden for as long as I want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want to do something 'bad' now without having to care about how other people will feel. I cannot deal with these overwhelming feelings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh Hun,I'm sorry to hear that.What's the matter?xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Poppy1 wrote: »
    I want to do something 'bad' now without having to care about how other people will feel. I cannot deal with these overwhelming feelings.

    Sounds like you're having a difficult wave of emotions - has anything helped in the past to help you ride this out? As Angelface says, if it helps to tell us what's going on for you then we're here to listen. Has something happened today that you'd like to talk about?

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am scared of everything. Too much and too little. It is all coming together in the worst way. I cannot be brave.
  • Cat88Cat88 Posts: 377 Listening Ear
    Hi Poppy.

    Please don't be scared, we are all here for you. Is there anything in particular that has set off how you feel today? We're always here to listen and support as much as we can, and I assure you you definitely are brave.
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