seeing a lad behind my mums back

Former Member

Iam seeing a lad behind my mums back she judges everyone I go out with me. I dont know should tell her or not.

iam worried just in case she

? judges them
? say something that make me finishes them (wich I have beause of her)
? trust her knowing

hes got

? a good job
? makes me happy
? trust him
? we not rushing into things
? caring

what do I do to help me feel comferble talking to my mum about it with out her judging
or iam I being sly not saying something to her and tell her iam going out with him

Former Member

Hey Heather,

Would you feel able to actually let your mum know how she makes you feel when it comes to your relationships? Honesty really is the best policy and being able to sit down with your mum and have an open conversation with her about this would be a really mature approach.

I remember my mum and my ex had a terrible argument once and for days I was completely torn with the situation so I decided to go to my mums and have a chat with her and explain how I was feeling about it. The next day they sorted their differences out for my sake.

Maybe if you feel able to sit down with your mum and let her know exactly how you're feeling, she may put your feelings and your happiness before her own because this is your life? From the things you've said before, am I right in thinking you and your mum have a pretty close relationship?

From the way you've described this guy, it doesn't sound like there's any real reason for anyone to judge him. The most important thing is that you're happy so if he makes you happy then go for it. Whether your mum likes it or not, it's completely your decision.

I'm sorry I don't have any tips on how to make telling your mum seem easier, I think this is just one of those things you simply have to bite the bullet with. I'm certainly aware that's easier said than done though. Maybe you'd find it easier telling her over the phone if you decide you definitely can't do it face to face?

I hope this gets sorted soon for you *hug*

Former Member

butterfly123 wrote: »

Hey Heather,

Would you feel able to actually let your mum know how she makes you feel when it comes to your relationships? Honesty really is the best policy and being able to sit down with your mum and have an open conversation with her about this would be a really mature approach.

I remember my mum and my ex had a terrible argument once and for days I was completely torn with the situation so I decided to go to my mums and have a chat with her and explain how I was feeling about it. The next day they sorted their differences out for my sake.

Maybe if you feel able to sit down with your mum and let her know exactly how you're feeling, she may put your feelings and your happiness before her own because this is your life? From the things you've said before, am I right in thinking you and your mum have a pretty close relationship?

From the way you've described this guy, it doesn't sound like there's any real reason for anyone to judge him. The most important thing is that you're happy so if he makes you happy then go for it. Whether your mum likes it or not, it's completely your decision.

I'm sorry I don't have any tips on how to make telling your mum seem easier, I think this is just one of those things you simply have to bite the bullet with. I'm certainly aware that's easier said than done though. Maybe you'd find it easier telling her over the phone if you decide you definitely can't do it face to face?

I hope this gets sorted soon for you *hug*

Thanks for ur reply I will iam going to wait gor a good time to do it

Former Member

Hey Heather,

Just wanted to check in to see how things were and if you had found the right time to speak to your mum?

Let us know if we can help with any more advice!

Former Member

butterfly123 wrote: »

Hey Heather,

Would you feel able to actually let your mum know how she makes you feel when it comes to your relationships? Honesty really is the best policy and being able to sit down with your mum and have an open conversation with her about this would be a really mature approach.

I remember my mum and my ex had a terrible argument once and for days I was completely torn with the situation so I decided to go to my mums and have a chat with her and explain how I was feeling about it. The next day they sorted their differences out for my sake.

Maybe if you feel able to sit down with your mum and let her know exactly how you're feeling, she may put your feelings and your happiness before her own because this is your life? From the things you've said before, am I right in thinking you and your mum have a pretty close relationship?

From the way you've described this guy, it doesn't sound like there's any real reason for anyone to judge him. The most important thing is that you're happy so if he makes you happy then go for it. Whether your mum likes it or not, it's completely your decision.

I'm sorry I don't have any tips on how to make telling your mum seem easier, I think this is just one of those things you simply have to bite the bullet with. I'm certainly aware that's easier said than done though. Maybe you'd find it easier telling her over the phone if you decide you definitely can't do it face to face?

I hope this gets sorted soon for you *hug*

Where butterfly when u need her :*(

Its gone wrong I told my mum last night and she went really funny with me asking me lots of questions and that I want to end the relationship with him but I dont I love him

Former Member

Hi Heather *hug*

So sorry things didn't go so well with your mum - were you able to tell her how she makes you feel when she reacts like this, as butterfly123 suggested?

As you expected she didn't react in the best way...and of course it's upsetting as it clearly matters to you what she thinks. However it's also important to note what you said earlier;

*Heather* wrote: »

hes got

? a good job
? makes me happy
? trust him
? we not rushing into things
? caring

What is it about him that your mum didn't like and made you want to end it?