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Guilt at plans to leave

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So some of you might know that I would like to leave my job and am in the process of starting to look. I've just been offered a trip to London though so spend time with important colleagues, shown roundplaces and taken out for lunch as I know its important for then to do this for our team.

I feel guilty now though that this time, effort and money will be a bit me a waste. Its not for another 4 weeks and I would like to go but then not want to piss people off if I resign in a few weeks or months when they've given me a special opportunity.

Should I feel bad or just go and not worry?


  • AndyAndy Deactivated Posts: 185 Helping Hand
    Hi Lexi,

    It's certainly natural that you are maybe worrying about feeling a bit guilty and maybe wasting time.

    Like you say, it's a good opportunity, but at the moment, you're still in that job. Yes, you may be looking for new jobs in the near future - but that's not for your current work to know until you get a new job secured.

    Would you feel that this trip would be something you would want to do if you weren't feeling like leaving?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its definately helpful for my job, to know more how the product works and build relationships with colleagues but its just not something im interested in
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I'd say that you've got to keep giving this job your best, or at least a respectable effort while you're still there. Yes, you're not planning on staying forever - but you can't live on the whatifs and the maybes on a permanent basis.

    From what you've described it doesn't sound like a monster sized investment on the companies part - so I would t worry about it potentially being a waste. And you never know, you might see some different angles within the current company that could give you ideas for other jobs, either with them or a different company. I'd make the most of the opportunity.
  • Cat88Cat88 Posts: 377 Listening Ear
    Hi Lexi. As other have said I think make the most of it. Obviously I very much hope you find something new quickly, but if that doesn't happen then you will still wnat to be doing as well as possible at your current role.

    In addition, any experience/learnings you gain are just more for your CV and interviews :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone, of course im going to go, I just know if it was me id be a bit peeved if i organised this for someone and they left soon after
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So this morning the team were discussing the challenges for the next bit of the year and one that came up was team knowledge retention as everyone moves around alot.

    My team leader then agreed and then said in a jokey but actually serious way 'No one is allowed to leave, if you have any plans to please tell me'.

    This onlys adds to the guilt Im already feeling (i have an interview next week) and Im not planning on telling her until im handing my notice in as i dont think it will help at all, only probably put pressure on me to find a job. I have to give 4 weeks notice, surely this is the time for them to make plans for my leaving, not months in advance when i might not get a job for ages.

    She does sound quite reasonable but i know she'd have a mini freakout if i told her i was leaving so i also dont wanna start that. Should i not worry about what she said and just tell her when im handing my notice in?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is just part of working life. It's probably normal to feel some guilt especially if you're in a tight group, but don't let it consume your life - ultimately the notice period is all you are required to do, you don't need to be guilted into saying you're looking elsewhere, and you certainly shouldn't feel bad about continuing with your normal work and whatever travel/extras they assign to you in the mean time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, I really dont see how it will help anything other than me suddenly pressured to leave. At least if she doesnt know i can continue on like nothing is happening
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, sorry to drag this up again.

    Ive just re-read the thread and it has made me feel better but would like some reassurance.

    Im still looking for a new role (anxiously waiting to hear back on a job application) but my responsibilities have been stepped up at work a bit, additional training involved etc. I just really don?t want to disappoint anyone if/when i turn around and say im leaving, especially when theyve put their faith and trust in me.

    I keep also getting asked about next years plans and career development. i just nod and smile along so as not to put my job at risk and so no one really knows how bad i hate it here and that i don?t really want to develop my career further here. I think it will come as a shock when i hand my notice in, not like my last job where my boss said she has been expecting it all along.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lexi99
    Sorry to hear that this is still an issue for you...
    As others have said on here, I think it's natural for you to feel an element of guilt about your thoughts of leaving your work place. We spend so much time at work that we do become attached on some level even if we don't actually want to!
    However, try to think about yourself in say 1 or 5 years time - will you really be worrying about leaving this work place then? Think about making the right career decisions for you and as long as you are amicable and pleasant to people around you during the process - you will have done nothing wrong.

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