Self harm, Should i stop seeing Camhs?

Former Member

I'm coming up to 15 and female
I've been self harming for around 3-4 years (Not badly)
I got caught up in an online relationship not long ago and didnt come of my computer (because his time zone was diffrent)
He helped me threw depresstion (I was refered to camhs by this point)
I only went one sesstion and refused 1 to 1 after a year we broke up ( we was togeather for 2 years) I started to self harm bad on my thighs so that my mum/family couldnt see i made the mistake of cutting my arms the first time around.
I chose to be reffered to camhs AGAIN! ive been 3 sesstions so far but my mums not keen on me going due to my past sister who also went because of OCD. she was almost sectioned out of my whole family ive been the one to be left out my mum isnt very understanding and made me feel like a wierdo when she found out the first time now she dosent really care at all i've started cutting for no reason just knowing that a little bit more of my lifes gone each time i cut. and its not my fault if i died from blood loss cause it wasnt my intention atleast thats what they'd think. But my real quetion is should i stop going camhs 1 to 1 as i dont feel its helping i find myself repeating over and over again (btw i got bullied for 2 years in school i got blinded in 1 eye from glue but the school did nothing i ended up getting kicked out for punching and girl because it wasnt prevoke apprantly) But yeh

Thank you

Former Member

Ultimately it's completely down to you but I would suggest giving it a little bit more time to get to know your camhs worker more, etc. It really does depend on where you're at right now though and exactly how you feel towards everything. How about some sort of pros and cons list or something?

I'm really sorry to hear about how tough things have been and are now for you *hug*

Former Member

Like butterfly said, this has to be your decision to make. If you feel that CAHMS isn't helpful then do you want to go? Or do you feel like its not helpful because they are bringing up memories that you don't want to think about? If its the second one, that's all part of therapy unfortunately. I know its awful to think about bad things that have happened in your life but it will help in the long run
Hope things get better for you :hugs:

Former Member

Just to add to stuff that has been said - could your mum have a meeting (or another meeting) with your CAMHS worker? Perhaps that would ease her worries and make it feel easier for you to go?

Aurora

Hello there Eminim,

Warm welcomes to TheSite.org message boards :wave: Just to echo people above, as you're under 18, CAMHS are likely to do a reasonable test thing, before you discharge yourself, to see if you are 'well' enough, so to say, to be discharged. You've taken a massive step by reaching out, and getting some support in place, were proud of you. However, it's worth keeping in mind, that your parents can continue to make you go if they're worried, etc, due to your age.

You said something about CAMHS not being helpful, often it takes time before CAMHS actually becomes helpful, it could be down to the experience of the worker you've been placed with, I found a change of therapist to be beneficial, and the support has to work both ways, you have to be just as engaging, and willing. How long have you been with your current CAMHS service, have the sessions been over months, or three weeks?

Often, when an individual hasn't been in your situation, it can be difficult to understand, for example parents, and they jump to all sorts of conclusions, I agree with YellowSeaHorse, it might be worth getting your mum to attend a meeting, I managed to get another worker involved to talk to my parents, and help them understand why I behaved the way I did.

Do you look after your self harm? - Do let us know how you're getting on, and do keep reaching out to us.

Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart

Former Member

My mum had a meeting with my Camhs worker when i was reffered but after she tried to interegate me over everything i said and continued to get mad if i didnt tell her i dont feel as if she even wants me talking to Camhs

Former Member

Thank you , Like i said to yellowseahorse when i fist got reffered to CAMHS she had a meeting with her and me but then i had some alont time with her after i got home she asked alot of quetions and got kinda mad about it.
My sesstions are every 2 weeks ive one been to 3 so far but ive been with the same People for over 2 years
As of my age she dosent want me going anyways
and i feel as if when my sesstions are over ill just go bk down again.
As i've been self harming for so long i do look after my cuts very well as i've got abit of ocd when it comes to it.
Thank you again

Former Member

It's not so much the memories i just feel as if they're not going to help much and if they do once the sesstions are over ill just go back to stage one again!
Thank you x

Former Member

Hi Eminim it's Crazykiss here. Welcome to the site and I hope u can get to know u more through the chat rooms and messaging boards once u become firmilar with it. If u need any help by using the site then u can always ask me by send me a PM

I'm sorry to have heard about ur situation and its very brave of u to open up about this to a complete new audience as its not easy. Congratulate urself for doing that.

I hear what ur saying about the 1 to 1 session Chams. Only I can't be very help with knowing what Chams does as I've never been to a session with them or know anything about them but I'm glad ur seeking some help to deal with the problem u are suffering with at the moment. Remember that there is always someone who u can talk to and if its not Chams or ur mum then u should confide in a good friend or a other family member u can trust, so never feel like ur own ur own.

The decision has to got to be down to u at the end of the day. If u feel like u are putting in all the effort into these sessions and going regularly to improve then there's not much more u can do. Though I just think that maybe u need to go to another session in a fortnights time and see for urself wether this is right for u or not and if u still think that it's not helping u then u will have to speak to ur mentor about this who takes up the sessions with u. Could be a number of things, could be that u need something more then just a one off session, that nothing is helping u there so u need a more hands on approuch, could just be the service and how well it's treated u with the likes of the equaliy act and customer service background or simply whoever is teaching u to begin with might have a effect on u for any reason. Whatever it is what's making u unhappy u need to next to speak to ur mentor about this and nor ur mum as its got to be decision as ur the one what needs the help and go from there to see what they suggest.


In the mean time u should still go to the next session as promised and bring it up whilst ur there or maybe say it just before u start but if I was u I wo Ulf bring it up just before u leave so that u know exactly what ur gonna do next time wether it will be sticking to the clasess or getting transferred to another service which may benefit u more then the're service. At the end of the day this has got to be about what's right for u and I don't feel like for u this is the right thing for u right now and ot could just be u need longer term support or more of a open and public enviromemt where u can meet people in the same situation as u not thinking that ur on ur own.

I dont know wether u have heard about this site before but it's called The Surgery and its a bit like The Site but different. They are always on air Sunday night's from 9.00pm on Radio One who speak to young people like urself and others on here about theirr problems and needing a support network for them to go and talk to what help them to make the first step in getting help. They try to be as helpful as they can only they dont know everything about ur situation just like the site so all they can do is try and help and give u some support services u can get in touch with in the mean time.

They have a doctor on board so if it's from having a nasty cold to not feeling like urself there's no excuse but to have a doctor on hand. You can ring them by The Surgery number to speak to them on the radio or call the helpline number after in which u can speak to someone straight away any time of day or night.

There will always be someone over on the end of the phone and visting the advice pages on the radio one page can be useful to in finding helpline numbers for u to access or some advice ur not sure about. It's up to u on what u wanna do to seem help but I find this helps me when I have a problem, I just listen to the station and comment on my thoughts after the show on the advice pages.

So please could u get back in touch with us on here so we can keep up to date on what's going on and if there's been a change of plan but I wish u the best with the support ur receiving right now and if there's any problems then u could always come back on here and talk further.

Nice to get to know and hopefully see u soon.

Take care Eminim,

Hugs and Kisses,

Crazykiss.

Former Member

Hi Crazykiss,
I have very low confidence so i dont think joining a group with help i just feel as if i cant really talk to people face to face even with my CAMHS worker i cant look her in the eyes i find it very diffcult because of past bullying has drained me.
I will defiantly Check that website out but i will not be able to talk to them as like i said before lack of confidence
About the changing Services is there any other services that actually help in a long term way? if so i would appreciate that x
I've got my next sesstion this thursday so i will definantly bring it up! x
Thank you xxxx

Former Member

I think :hugs: are in order here. Sounds like you've been through a lot

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Former Member

There also childline.org.uk that you could turn to if you wish. You can either call them on 0800 1111, have a 1-2-1 chat with a counsellor online or send them an email. There's also message boards a bit similar to the ones we have here

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Former Member

I'm sorry to hear that u can't confide in anyone at the moment due to lack of confidence. That's understandable. There any way u could write ur thoughts down on a bit of paper or send them an email to ur advicer? That way u wouldn't have to talk to them and ur feelings would already be written down. I know u have to go back to the session on Thursday but is there anyway u could get someone to come along with u and wait untill u have finished? That way u wouldn't have to face it alone. You got to be honest and true about ur feelings cuz it's u what needs the right help not anyone else! Could u maybe do that? Think that's the best way forward.

Becki has a point. There is always ChildLine to ring to speak to someone in confidence but maybe talking to someone still wouldn't help u. Best to speak to someone u know I think. There's good advice on here through the site boards. Th st something u could consider Eminim?

Were always here of u wanna talk bit u should feel scared to talk to someone like a family member or a good friend. I'm not sure if I know any other services what can help with the support u need. I'm not sure what kind of support u need help with but I can give u some organisations who could help and try and listen to u. What that be ok?

Let me know what u wanna do

Former Member

Family and friends are out of the equation they dont believe in cousilling/help they're very old fastioned and as for my friends i have no true ones that i can speak to with out them blurting it out which would make the situation worser i know im a pain in the butt when it comes to this but i have no one by my side at this moment in time.

That's oky with me, i think at this moment in time anything will atleast help a little bit

Thank you x

Former Member

Maybe speaking to someone other then a friend or a family might give u a bit more confidence in urself to open up to people a bit more. Have u spoken to childline before? They maybe to help u and they are completely confidential so don't worry about that. If u don't like speaking to people over the phone u can speak to them by using the chat service like this one on the site. They will appreciate u for coming to speak to them so don't think ur gonna be a waste of space as that's what they are there for. Would u try that Eminim?

Atleast u do have ur family there for u even if u don't really get on. Hopefully there is someone u get on with in ur family so I'm not worried about u having absolutely no one. You said about not having many friends, what do u get up to in ur spare time? I don't know if u work or go to college?

There's an article on the site about how to make friends and it could help u later on when u do go out and meet new people. That something u can look at? They have good advice on different subjects but if it don't really help u then there are other services u can try out instead.

Hope that helps and I'm here if u ever wanna talk.

Former Member

I havent tried Childline, Im pretty scared if i say the wrong thing they might tell my parents i feel as if i cant speak my mind to alot of people because of the consicounces.
I dont have that many family members all togeather and my real dad left when i was coming up to 1, All my mum really cares about is money and smoking im greatful for what i have but atm i have no one at all that i can trust to speak to its hard.
I dont work or go college i pretty much stay inside in my room.
I'll look at that now
Thank you x

Former Member

I'm sorry to hear that. You sound like a really nice person by the way and I'm sure if u gained a bit more confidence and believed in itself a bit more u could get a better life for itself and be happy. Sometimes it can be heard when u make a change in it life cuz it so use to doing the same thing. Have u looked at any courses online u might be interested in doing? What do u like to? That way u can get an idea where u want to be in life. The careers advice website is very good to look at it options and explore the world of work. Have u been on there website?

Not good either that u don't have anyone to talk to and that again can effect ur confidence. Childline is there to listen and help u through what it going through, they don't judge or break confidentiality unless someone like u is in danger or something so they can't say nothing to anyone about u ringing them just to chat. That sound better? Trust I know.

I suppose if u got urself looking at different courses u may be able to get help in enroling. You can go into it local college website and find our when the next courses start. So even if u don't feel like starting now u can wait till the next one. You should have a look and see u can send them an email and say it interested in whatever u wanna do and u would like to find out more and see if u could come to an opening day there. That way u won't be indoors all the time as that must be really boring for u and having ur mum isn't easy either. Would u do that? Remember there's the careers advice two and not just on starting up a course but looking for work and helping u with it cvs
and covering letters etc. You can either take a online quiz to see what job is right for u, so as for u not knowing what u would like to do u could maybe start taking the quiz and get to know which job u would work best in.

I'm here if there's anything else I can do but I do think u should try that for itself and tell me how u got on. I'm here if u wanna talk

Former Member

Hey Eminim,

Welcome to TheSite :wave:

First off, we're on your side. It's really brave to post here and I'm glad you found us Talking things through somewhere like this can help you over time to figure out what to do for the best. People here are always willing to offer their advice and suggestions and to just listen when you need to vent.

You mention you find it really hard to talk to your CAHMS worker or even look her in the eye, your confidence is low and you've been bullied in the past. It's really understandable that you feel nervous to trust people - all of these experiences have an impact and it will take a bit of time to build your confidence back up.

Sorry to hear that your family and friends aren't supportive, that must feel quite isolating?

Time by ourselves can be good but if we spend too much time on our own then it can be easy to get wrapped up in our own thoughts and lose perspective on things. Do you have any hobbies or interests that could get you out of the house a bit? It might help to build your confidence too?

I wonder, have you ever spoken to your mum to see if she can allow you a bit more space with needing to know about the appointments? It can't be easy if she doesn't really want you going, or maybe your worker could talk to her about it? It could be that it's holding you back a bit as you're worried about your mum finding out everything that you say?

Let us know how the meeting with your CAHMS worker goes today *hug*

Former Member

Hey! Thank you xxx
It's very isolating considering i only get to vent out every 2 weeks and still then i watch what i say i cant really speak my mind as i said before.
I like doing Poetry and Art but after my teachers saying i was rubbish it put me off of it alot so i havent really got a hobbie now i dont really spend much time out the house.
Because i see my Camhs worker every 2 weeks on the same day she always knowns so i dont really have that freedom
The meeting went oky i took everyones advice and told her that it wasnt really helping me she said to give it some more time as we didnt know each other that well and if it didnt work after all they really offer is family councilling which my mum etc dont agree in so im just going to stick with this and see if it helps anymore if at all.

Thank you again xxx

Former Member

That's good to know Eminim. I can understand u feel like this as u haven't gone out the house to do something what u can put it mind two but now u got something u will like to do shows that the time maybe right for u. You just need a bit more confidence in itself, there's ways u can do that like as it gonna do is join a club. May feel nerves at first but everyone will be in the same boat and feel the same way as u.

You do what u want to do and what u enjoy the most as that's what matters in life, as long as ur happy. Teachers can sometimes say the wrong things when they forget how it comes out. Dont listen it art teacher ok, u can do improve ur art skills if u really wanted to. Art can be fun and that's what art is all about and u need to have a passion for it which u do have so don't let others stop u from doing anything.

That's really good to hear that ur still sticking to the appointments with ur advicer. They do have a point and that is trying it out first before stopping before u begun. You never know u could get on with him or her really well and things may seem to improve. How did it go on Thursday? Today? Yh I think focusing on urself is more important right now then anything else.

Keep up the good work