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Friendship or relationship

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have this friend that I really like but I'm not sure if they are feelings for just a friend or whether it is like a proper relationship. Help!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you feel like you want physical contact with him? Kiss him? see him in various states of undress? If you are not sure I'd wager they are feelings that surpass the friendship level. Spend more time with him and see how you feel about it. If you are surer about your feelings bring it up with him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think about wether ur feelings are strong for him and if they are go about spending more time with him and come out with it in the best way possible not trying to scare him. Worth asking after if he feels the same but give him to say that to u before u jump in there. I would carry on meeting up with him and speaking to him when u got chance and see what happens. If ur still stuck on ur feelings then I would write a list down on all the things that u like about him and see wether there are a lot of qualities u like about him first so u know how u feel. Good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think I should mention this friend is a girl... I didn't think I was lesbian hence my confusion

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And she has a boyfriend. It's all very complicated. Me and this friends are very close so maybe it's just a close friendship

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in a similar situation to this a while back but honestly every person is different, however, if she has a boyfriend I'd really not recommend getting involved or trying for a relationship because it will only end in people getting hurt. I think a lot of the time when you're close with someone and you've spent a lot of time with them there are going to be some kind of feelings there, whether that be feelings towards a relationship or just a friendship.
    I'd really think it through if you're going to act on it and make sure you're sure of the nature of the feelings you've got..


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't know that as I thought u and him were close and there wasn't anyone else involved. Tuesday is right. You have to think very carefully on how to go about things. Will u want to go ahead and lose ur friendship with this guy cuz of ur feelings getting in the way when u know he has someone? I don't know but it's got to be ur choice. You have to be warned that if u do try things out with him then u have to prepare for the worse when thus girl finds out that u like him. Sometimes u can't help ur feelings but I think u need to keep spending a bit of time with him to see wether ur feelings are really strong because if u think they are but they arnt then why go there? Make sure u think about this first.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's a girl!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tues wrote: »
    I was in a similar situation to this a while back but honestly every person is different, however, if she has a boyfriend I'd really not recommend getting involved or trying for a relationship because it will only end in people getting hurt. I think a lot of the time when you're close with someone and you've spent a lot of time with them there are going to be some kind of feelings there, whether that be feelings towards a relationship or just a friendship.
    I'd really think it through if you're going to act on it and make sure you're sure of the nature of the feelings you've got..


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    I know that she is straight so won't do anything. I thought I was straight but clearly not... Very confused

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you a 100% know she is straight only then there is no point in bringing your feelings up to her I think. If you are in agony, because you have feelings for her, which she clearly does not reciprocate you might have to consider taking some space from her. You should probably figure out first what these feelings are about, if you really dig girls, or if it's just craving affection from whoever, because you are lonely or something.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't think I was lesbian. Not got anything against lesbian women or gay men by the way

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I didn't think I was lesbian. Not got anything against lesbian women or gay men by the way

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    Just because you may have feelings for a girl doesn't mean you're a lesbian.. But I know what you mean.
    If you know she's 100% straight and she has a boyfriend it's more than likely that the outcome won't be the one you want and you'll end up getting hurt, if you do choose to act on it, really think it through first


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I didn't think I was lesbian. Not got anything against lesbian women or gay men by the way

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    Yea, well there is a point in time in every person's life where there is a revelation about one's sexuality. But that does not mean you are a lesbian yet. Also sexuality from straight to gay is a continuum not a 3 point slide (gay, straight, bi). Some people are kinda attracted to their own gender or can find them stunning, but not have sexual interest in them. Many people need to actually have a gay experience to realize they are in fact not so gay as they initially believed.

    Bottom line: Your confused feelings right now don't have to mean you are lesbian at all. Not that it would be a bad thing, but just saying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh ok. I think Tuesday is right though. May not be bi and as she's got a bf then that tells it all but u don't really wanna go in there an confess ur true feelings for her as she may not feel the same. I don't want u to get hurt so I would just think about it first before u doing anything drastic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Friendship or relationship
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    Oh ok. I think Tuesday is right though. May not be bi and as she's got a bf then that tells it all but u don't really wanna go in there an confess ur true feelings for her as she may not feel the same. I don't want u to get hurt so I would just think about it first before u doing anything drastic.

    *Tues not Tuesday please.
    If you want to express your feelings though and you feel it's something you need to do, I guess you don't know how it'll turn out and there's always a chance it could turn out well, but then it seems like a bigger chance the response will be negative, but you've said yourself that it could just be a really close friendship. Whatever you decide to do becki I hope it works out for you :)


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't need this!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do u think is right BeckI. If I was u I would think about it first cuz u don't wanna go in there all guns blaxin do u? I'm glad that u find someone what makes u smile. I'm here if u wanna talk :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi BeckiBoo,

    Everyone has made some really great points.

    This is a very close friend who friendship you clearly value and don’t want to lose.

    The fact she has a boyfriend also complicates the situation even more.

    Its never really a good idea to pursue someone in a relationship as the potential for heartbreak for you is probably more and it could possibly complicate the relationship with her boyfriend.

    As her close friend you don’t want to be the one cause issues in her relationship.

    It seems to me that this may be more about your confusion over sexuality rather than actually having feelings for your friend specifically.

    Why not have a read of the following article on the site which might help you out.
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