Home Health & Wellbeing
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

My mental health is a mess

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
After an eight month hospital admission, I am finally discharged. That is the good news. Unfortunately, there is also bad news.

In my opinion, the entire admission was awful and a complete waste of everyone's time - the consultant psychiatrist made life difficult and slowly twisted the nursing staff against me. Therefore I lost faith in them and could not trust them. Consequently, I progressively deteriorated and am now in a really bad state and feel stuck.

The consultant psychiatrist on the ward never liked me from the moment I was there. He has always held the opinion that as I am articulate and more intelligent than average, I cannot have any mental health problem. He once told me that there is no way I can possibly feel anxiety because "people with six A*s don't have problems". I seriously doubt his competence. He would also deliberately provoke and upset me for no good reason other than personal gratification. He was rude and inconsistent and has made life hell for many of his patients.

I am turning 18 soon, and my care is being transferred to the adult services. I was relieved about this as I feel like it is my last chance to actually get better, or at least get to a point where I can function properly. The problem is that the consultant psychiatrist has told the adult services that I don't need their help - I am fine and people should not "waste their time" on me.

Now it feels as though my last chance at recovery has been ruined. In truth, I am not fine. I want help and I think I need help, but I find it very difficult because of previous experiences with mental health services.

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that I am not functioning properly at all. In short, my life is governed by anxiety and voices. I cannot leave the house any more; my college work is left incomplete; sometimes I get so stressed and anxious that I am physically sick; the voices bully me in to doing what they want or prevent me from doing basic tasks, such as getting a glass of water.

It seems as though my world revolves around my cat. I spend hours checking her for signs of injury or illness, I hand feed her to reduce the chances of her choking and I feed her when I am upset. It is not good for either of us, but I get so concerned that I feel as though I can't not do it.

All in all, life sucks right now and I don't know where to start. I can't work out if I have let things go to far to be able to sort it out. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Accipiter :wave:

    It is great news that you are now out of hospital, how does it feel being back at home?
    You did well to keep on going when you were finding it tough with the hospital staff specifically with the consultant.

    It is important that you do access the adult services now you will be turning 18 and the consultant can not stop you from doing that. Have you thought about speaking to your G.P or do you think it's a no go? You maybe able to do a self referral?

    You haven't let things go too far as you are on here talking to us so you have recognised you still need help no matter what and that's a good step to take.

    You know you can speak to us on here on the boards and we are always here to support you :heart:

    purple_rain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You shouldn't have to feel on ur own in all of this. There job is to try and make u feel better and with that comes support and postivity. Accessing the adult services again and telling them that u had a bad experience before but now would like to put that behind u will make them aware that u want help and going there will make them listen to u and try and help u for now on. Would this be a good move for u or are u still unsure? How are u feeling in urself at the moment? You could try speaking to ur GP again and get them to refer u to the service. This has to be ur choice but I think it would be good if u spoke to ur GP first and made them aware that u can't suffer on ur own anymore. Having a mental illness can effect anyone at any age or any ability so for him to say that u don't have one and ur only trying to make out u suffer with anxiety etc is beyond and I think personally he should be sacked! Your doing a good job by telling ur story on here but theres always someone to listen at the other and. Don't feel nerves to talk to me as I am happy to assit u with ur problem. Never feel alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Accipiter :wave:

    It is great news that you are now out of hospital, how does it feel being back at home?
    You did well to keep on going when you were finding it tough with the hospital staff specifically with the consultant.

    It is important that you do access the adult services now you will be turning 18 and the consultant can not stop you from doing that. Have you thought about speaking to your G.P or do you think it's a no go? You maybe able to do a self referral?

    You haven't let things go too far as you are on here talking to us so you have recognised you still need help no matter what and that's a good step to take.

    You know you can speak to us on here on the boards and we are always here to support you :heart:

    purple_rain

    Hi, thanks for your reply.

    Being at home again is great. Hospitals really are not pleasant places to be and being free from it takes a huge weight off my shoulders!

    The problem with seeing a GP is leaving the house - at the moment I cannot go outside, or even answer the door or phone, unless it is a family member. On a really bad day, I can't even go downstairs, so I don't think it would be possible to see a GP.

    Thanks again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    You shouldn't have to feel on ur own in all of this. There job is to try and make u feel better and with that comes support and postivity. Accessing the adult services again and telling them that u had a bad experience before but now would like to put that behind u will make them aware that u want help and going there will make them listen to u and try and help u for now on. Would this be a good move for u or are u still unsure? How are u feeling in urself at the moment? You could try speaking to ur GP again and get them to refer u to the service. This has to be ur choice but I think it would be good if u spoke to ur GP first and made them aware that u can't suffer on ur own anymore. Having a mental illness can effect anyone at any age or any ability so for him to say that u don't have one and ur only trying to make out u suffer with anxiety etc is beyond and I think personally he should be sacked! Your doing a good job by telling ur story on here but theres always someone to listen at the other and. Don't feel nerves to talk to me as I am happy to assit u with ur problem. Never feel alone.

    Thanks for replying.

    I would like to give the adult services a shot, but my confidence and trust is damaged severely, and I have great difficulty trusting even family members at the moment, so I do have some doubts.

    I'm feeling rubbish in myself - everything is kind of muddled and I feel as though I am in an almost permanent state of anxiety, which is not ideal.

    I too would love to see him sacked; I am unfortunately not the only one to have felt the force of his mind games.

    I would go to the GP, but I can't leave the house at the moment, so I am rather stuck.

    Thanks for your help
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As u arnt in the right frame of mind at the moment I would put that to aside untill u can start rebuilding back ur life by taking small easy steps. Making a cup of tea is one, putting the washing on, making ur bed and so on can be a good way to start off small and build up very slowly once u have achieved a job in hand.

    I would suggest not to go out if that's how u feel not even being able to see anyone unless it's someone u can honestly trust then maybe u can let them in and make u a cup of tea and chat about ur problem but for now I would take each day and it comes and try those small steps that I have suggested.

    Will be difficult but I know u have the determination and reason why ur doing this. I don't know with seeing ur GP wether they can speak to u over the internet like ur doing now by talking to me. Just sending them a message about how ur feeling will tackle ur nerves so u won't have to see them untill ur ready which may take a month or six months etc.

    Are u taking at the moment to help u? I suppose u are and that's great to see cuz u realise u have a problem what won't go away. So can see that u are progressing in the right direction it's just now talking to someone about it which is the next step. Your talking to us which is great but having someone u know very well is s bonus.

    You should send them an email and get them to come round on ur own. Untill u start getting back to ur social life with talking to a family member u will then think that ur not on ur own and have some always no matter when it is.

    I agree totally with that doctor being sacked but its good that ur not there anymore and I wish that someone did something sooner to prevent it from happening. They know what's he's like now so hopefully the manager will do something about it. You should get the same fair treatment as anyone else and for them to look at u thinking u got issues which its looked at in a judge mental way is beyond me to know that they take their patients seriously.

    They can't stop u from accessing there services unless u came back so so many times when the problem has already been addressed and u are feeling better. That isn't u and if ur still feeling like this then the problem hasn't gone away so they have to accept u back in.

    I would speak to ur GP first after u have had sometime to think then get him or her to refer u back to them but have someone else helping u with us care. We are always here when u need us and we won't judge or bully u into doing anything. This has to come from u. Keep up the good work Accipiter :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your help, Crazykiss.

    I'm feeling worse than ever - there are massive problems at home which are really stressing me out, which makes the voices and anxiety worse, plus the problems that were there already.

    Earlier I opened the front door because I thought it was my mum, but it wasn't, and I got into a bad state: my heart went all weird, I was sweating and shaking and then I was sick. I've cleaned myself up, had a shower, etc, but now I feel like a complete idiot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's stressing u out at home? :( I can't imagine what ur going through right now but it not on ur own as u have someone here to talk to anytime. Do u know where the voices are coming from? and how long ago it started coming? There could be a psychology reason to why ur feeling like this. Once u know what it could be or if u don't then I would keep a diary of when it's happening and how offen. You can then have a record to what's going on around u and the best way to deal with the problem. Everything else like family issues will then start be adressed. I dont know wether speaking to ur mum would help but it can help to try and sort things out at home to move forward. Good to see that u can talk to us on here so u have made a reasonable first step but please talk to someone when u feel again like this and by the way ur not at all an idiot. You had the guts to open the door what some people can't do easily but u did so that's a very postive move in u. I would feel the same if it was someone I didn't know. The worse is over now and u have ur mum back so ur are safe. Please try not to worry. I'm here to talk.
Sign In or Register to comment.