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Cant stop liking the bad egg

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Help me please I can't keep away from a serious bad egg. Two and a hf years ago I got involved with this guy seemed ok at first but turned out he was seeing me living with another woman and seeing his ex at same time. He's a compulsive liar and alcohol. Whenever he's caught cheating by woman he is with she always thinks its the other woman.


Only with her I've been told for money and what he can get. He's been told numerous times to keep away from me and doesn't and last dealing I had with him he said wasn't interssted and that we weren't even talking. Yet saw him on Friday he made a beeline till his gf ce in an

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does not sound like he is harassing you. Don't push the responsibility to ignore each other onto him. Don't talk to him, don't contact him, block his number, delete him from facebook and ignore him if you run into him on the streets. If you can't do that, then I really don't know what you actually want.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Jacobsgel it's Crazykiss here, Nice to meet u. You need to stay well clear of this guy. If he has been warned by the police or any other offertie then he has to obey that as he's breaking the law by trying to talk to u. If this happens again keep reporting untill someone is able to help u. I suppose the police are looking into this matter and sorting it out anyway but u should keep reporting if he isn't getting the message. You are exactly right when u said he's obessed and won't stop untill he gets a fix. Don't stoop to his level and ignore him as u are doing. I don't what the guy is really about as u have only said he's a womanizer and alcoholic but nothing about how old he is or what does he want from these women who are suppose to be his girlfriends. Don't worry about the other women involved in this as that's not ur problem. If they wanna keep getting used by him then let them carry on as they clearly don't have any respect for themselves and enjoy being u and go out there and meet people where u may find someone who is just like u and appreciates u for who u are. Keep getting the support, make time for urself now and again and spend time with close friends and family who care about u as they are the most important people u should listen to. Don't even think about him or try getting in contact with him. Your gonna look the stupid one and I hope u dont go back to him as u deserve a lot better. Keep postive and stay happy and then u will see how much u don't miss him anymore. Don't let him twist u round his little finger. Your better then that. Hope that helps :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    Hi Jacobsgel it's Crazykiss here, Nice to meet u. You need to stay well clear of this guy. If he has been warned by the police or any other offertie then he has to obey that as he's breaking the law by trying to talk to u. If this happens again keep reporting untill someone is able to help u. I suppose the police are looking into this matter and sorting it out anyway but u should keep reporting if he isn't getting the message. You are exactly right when u said he's obessed and won't stop untill he gets a fix. Don't stoop to his level and ignore him as u are doing. I don't what the guy is really about as u have only said he's a womanizer and alcoholic but nothing about how old he is or what does he want from these women who are suppose to be his girlfriends. Don't worry about the other women involved in this as that's not ur problem. If they wanna keep getting used by him then let them carry on as they clearly don't have any respect for themselves and enjoy being u and go out there and meet people where u may find someone who is just like u and appreciates u for who u are. Keep getting the support, make time for urself now and again and spend time with close friends and family who care about u as they are the most important people u should listen to. Don't even think about him or try getting in contact with him. Your gonna look the stupid one and I hope u dont go back to him as u deserve a lot better. Keep postive and stay happy and then u will see how much u don't miss him anymore. Don't let him twist u round his little finger. Your better then that. Hope that helps :)

    He hasn't been told by police just mates. Last time I contacted him hf said he wasn't interested yet see him fri and makes beeline for me. The woman he's with is an awful lot older than him and have been told on occasssions he's known to have stole from her. I feel jealous as she has him yet know deep down he isn't worth having as he doesn't work either
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think u may need to tell the police as he's been warned so many times however it's not helping that u secreatly wanna get back with him and meet up with him. Gonna keep using u all the time. Do u want that? What is up with u feeling envy about the other woman ad u think he's got her and he's not interested in u. Only interested in himself. The woman is being used just as much as u are. I think he's got u and the woman to believe that ur the only ones for him and he's laughing at ur every expensive. The sooner ur realise that the quicker ur move far away from him. I know there's feelings still there but why is there and why he's only using u to get what he wants. Stop giving in to him and just move on from him. Your friends want u to and so does everyone else. Your meet someone who's alot better for u. You need to give urself time on order to move on from him and so with contacting him or meeting up with him then u have to block that out straight away. Not ur problem anymore, if he wants to get drunk and sleep around let him do that. You deserve better then that trash! Don't reply back to him anymore ok.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    He hasn't been told by police just mates. Last time I contacted him hf said he wasn't interested yet see him fri and makes beeline for me. The woman he's with is an awful lot older than him and have been told on occasssions he's known to have stole from her. I feel jealous as she has him yet know deep down he isn't worth having as he doesn't work either

    I have a suggestion for you: Don't contact him.

    You want to meet up, he says no, and when he approaches you, you complain about it. This is your own issue. If you can't accept advice that actually solves your problem then don't post here. That's like complaining this cake makes you fat, yet you don't put down the fork and keep shoveling it into yourself.

    I don't even know what you expect? People just telling you what an ass he is so you can feel better about yourself? Okay, well then. He is an ass and does not deserve you, even though he would be SO much better off with you, because you are an amazing person.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I have a suggestion for you: Don't contact him.

    You want to meet up, he says no, and when he approaches you, you complain about it. This is your own issue. If you can't accept advice that actually solves your problem then don't post here. I don't even know what you expect? People just telling you what an ass he is so you can feel better about yourself?

    I haven't his no anymore it's a case of them stupid things called feelings. He doesn't want me yet constantly makes beeline for me ��
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    I haven't his no anymore it's a case of them stupid things called feelings. He doesn't want me yet constantly makes beeline for me ��

    Yes, now comes the part where you ignore him. If you don't know what's good for you (eschewing this person 100%) then really there is absolutely nothing you can complain about. You are an obsessive person. This is the same guy you are posting about for years now. If you can't help yourself, nobody can. Learn to be more assertive and don't let people walk over you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    I think u may need to tell the police as he's been warned so many times however it's not helping that u secreatly wanna get back with him and meet up with him. Gonna keep using u all the time. Do u want that? What is up with u feeling envy about the other woman ad u think he's got her and he's not interested in u. Only interested in himself. The woman is being used just as much as u are. I think he's got u and the woman to believe that ur the only ones for him and he's laughing at ur every expensive. The sooner ur realise that the quicker ur move far away from him. I know there's feelings still there but why is there and why he's only using u to get what he wants. Stop giving in to him and just move on from him. Your friends want u to and so does everyone else. Your meet someone who's alot better for u. You need to give urself time on order to move on from him and so with contacting him or meeting up with him then u have to block that out straight away. Not ur problem anymore, if he wants to get drunk and sleep around let him do that. You deserve better then that trash! Don't reply back to him anymore ok.

    I think it is that she gets to go home with him and I don't pathetic I know. When he gets caught out she always justifies it as its the womans fault. She even contacts the pub of he doesn't go home
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Yes, now comes the part where you ignore him. If you don't know what's good for you (eschewing this person 100%) then really there is absolutely nothing you can complain about. You are an obsessive person. This is the same guy you are posting about for years now. If you can't help yourself, nobody can. Learn to be more assertive and don't let people walk over you.

    I should do this but I can be a soft person... Yet I know he's bad :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    I think u may need to tell the police as he's been warned so many times

    No, this is not a matter for the police. This guy is not harassing her. She can't keep away from him herself, but wishes she could.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    I should do this but I can be a soft person... Yet I know he's bad :(

    THEN JUST DO IT! Do you have no dignity or respect for yourself? If someone fucks me over I am ANGRY and resent that person and go no-contact asap. I have a modicum of pride and don't let other people use me like a toy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    THEN JUST DO IT! Do you have no dignity or respect for yourself? If someone fucks me over I am ANGRY and go no-contact with that person, because I have a modicum of pride and resent that person.

    He's always fucking people over just hate feeling jealous of woman he's with even if he's just using her
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    He's always fucking people over just hate feeling jealous of woman he's with even if he's just using her

    This sounds so pathological that I can seriously offer nothing except that you should admit yourself to some form of cognitive therapy. If you can't do what's right for you then what do you hope to gain from this thread? You are not considering those things people are suggesting anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jacobgal, You shouldn't have to need to feel like this. That girl is only being used by him at the end of the day! Not ur problem. Your gonna look stupid if u go back to him. The girl realises that he has u aswell but it's clear that u don't wanna be used like this anymore. Is it cuz u think she will have him all to herself and that she's won him? Don't think that. They wont last. Guys like that will never settle down. You got out of the right. Your friends keep warning him off u but it don't help when u go back to him. You need to stay away from him and StruggleS I know she hasn't got the police involved but if things are carrying on the way they are then she's got no choice but to report him for harassing her. You may think he's not but he is cuz he's not staying away from her warned by her friends. The police need to get involved. You don't have to go to them but I think the way things are going isn't doing any favours. You need to move on and so does the other woman and then none of u will have him as he's trash. Stop letting people walk all over u and gain some assertiveness. There maybe be more info about assertiveness on the site website so in the mean time have a look at that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    Jacobgal, You shouldn't have to need to feel like this. That girl is only being used by him at the end of the day! Not ur problem. Your gonna look stupid if u go back to him.

    I just want to let you know that jacobs_gal is returning to TheSite every couple months for several years now posting about this exact problem. People have exhaustively advised for everything and anything for a very long time. Just in case you too dislike typing huge walls of text for deaf ears and blind eyes. Also I am StrubbleS not StruggleS, also he is not harassing her. He is committing no felony by running into her in public and talking to her. It doesn't matter what friends say. SHE herself is NOT telling him to back off and leave her alone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    Jacobgal, You shouldn't have to need to feel like this. That girl is only being used by him at the end of the day! Not ur problem. Your gonna look stupid if u go back to him. The girl realises that he has u aswell but it's clear that u don't wanna be used like this anymore. Is it cuz u think she will have him all to herself and that she's won him? Don't think that. They wont last. Guys like that will never settle down. You got out of the right. Your friends keep warning him off u but it don't help when u go back to him. You need to stay away from him and StruggleS I know she hasn't got the police involved but if things are carrying on the way they are then she's got no choice but to report him for harassing her. You may think he's not but he is cuz he's not staying away from her warned by her friends. The police need to get involved. You don't have to go to them but I think the way things are going isn't doing any favours. You need to move on and so does the other woman and then none of u will have him as he's trash. Stop letting people walk all over u and gain some assertiveness. There maybe be more info about assertiveness on the site website so in the mean time have a look at that.

    The other women he's living with she don't trust him thou she says he's on a thin line but she constantly takes him bk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe talking to a counsellor will help u get things off ur chest if u have no one to turn to who is helping. You need to stay commitment to the councilling if u want this to work and ready to move on but time will tell. Can't say one minuite ur moving on and the next u want him back. That final choice relays on u. Would say this to anyone else if they were in this situation which they may well be but we can only help u move forward so u realise how we realise how bad an influence is and the sooner u deal with this the better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well that's her problem not urs. That woman looks like the stupid one and u maybe two if u don't get ur act together. That guy is using u both so take our advice and go with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubblesS I know that she is going after him but if her friends have warned him that what choice does she have. The police have to be involved. Something needs to be done and yes I know how to spell so I don't need reminding. Either she moves on from this for good with our advice or she takes it in the matter of her own hands.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    StrubblesS I know that she is going after him but if her friends have warned him that what choice does she have. The police have to be involved. Something needs to be done and yes I know how to spell so I don't need reminding. Either she moves on from this for good with our advice or she takes it in the matter of her own hands.

    I do find it hard regarding him its like the button you're told not to press and feel why her not me but I know it's cause I haven't got my own place etc... She said he always mentions when he sees me out why is he doin that... All I know is people have told me he likes vulnerable women etc
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    I do find it hard regarding him its like the button you're told not to press and feel why her not me but I know it's cause I haven't got my own place etc... She said he always mentions when he sees me out why is he doin that... All I know is people have told me he likes vulnerable women etc

    Do you know what I do when there is a button in front of me that I shall not press? I tell you what you do. You sit in front of it, stare at it, and bite your lip as the red glow of the button entrances you, while you say to yourself, "nooo, don't press it... ohhh its so beautiful... no, i pressed it before and it sucked... but its so pretty... nooo dont presssss."

    I leave the room. Talk to friends, get to know new people. I work out, I study. I read. I do things in my life that keep me occupied from pressing the button, until I forget about the button and until the button has no more relevance in my life and until there is not a bit of urge to actually press the button anymore.

    Well, he obviously likes vulnerable women, because women who stand up for themselves don't give him a second thought. The woman he is involved mainly has to keep tabs on him (contact the pub) and shit. You think that's fun to her? Sitting at home wondering if he comes back? She knows she sits on the thinner branch and he holds all the cards. No woman with a modicum of self-respect lets herself be played by such a fool. And as to why he mentions you to her: because he is emotionally abusive and wants the other woman to know that if she does not play along he can just go over to the next one (you).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Do you know what I do when there is a button in front of me that I shall not press? I tell you what you do. You sit in front of it, stare at it, and bite your lip as the red glow of the button entrances you, while you say to yourself, "nooo, don't press it... ohhh its so beautiful... no, i pressed it before and it sucked... but its so pretty... nooo dont presssss."

    I leave the room. Talk to friends, get to know new people. I work out, I study. I read. I do things in my life that keep me occupied from pressing the button, until I forget about the button and until the button has no more relevance in my life and until there is not a bit of urge to actually press the button anymore.

    Well, he obviously likes vulnerable women, because women who stand up for themselves don't give him a second thought. The woman he is involved mainly has to keep tabs on him (contact the pub) and shit. You think that's fun to her? Sitting at home wondering if he comes back? She knows she sits on the thinner branch and he holds all the cards. No woman with a modicum of self-respect lets herself be played by such a fool. And as to why he mentions you to her: because he is emotionally abusive and wants the other woman to know that if she does not play along he can just go over to the next one (you).

    I kinda thought that's why he mentions me it is a lil strange. She's quite big and is quite a bit older so I assume she just puts up the way he is find it hard she puts up with it but I guess I can talk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He goes for vunerable women (you) because he knows he can snap his fingers and they/you go running. He says jump, you ask how high. Is that really how you wanna be treated? Or want to be with someone who not only is a serial cheater but treats his other women (i say women because they're not girlfriends) like crap? If i like a guy and find out he was a shit to his exes id steer clear
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    He goes for vunerable women (you) because he knows he can snap his fingers and they/you go running. He says jump, you ask how high. Is that really how you wanna be treated? Or want to be with someone who not only is a serial cheater but treats his other women (i say women because they're not girlfriends) like crap? If i like a guy and find out he was a shit to his exes id steer clear

    He's still living with the one but she was stood there in pub and he was making eyes at me so not good dont know what's ip with me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is what I said before! Not worth bothering with! I said he's only there to get hos fix which is doing correctly as u women are falling for it. That's why u are all kidding irseves that this guy likes u. Of course he doesnt and u know that! The reason why u are upset Jacobgal is because u thought the guy who u onced loved and adored would do something like this. You said u wrent sure from the start so why did u get with him when u had a feeling that he was being sli all along. In a way it's ur own fault that u went there but u can't change the past now. Everything happens for a reason. You need to understand now that what u got involved in hasn't done u any favours and u need to get out before something bad happens. Not good that ur still seeing him when u have told ur friends to tell him to leave u alone. How can u move on as ur saying when u still got contact with him. That's what I don't understand. Can only do so much in making u realise that he is a loser but don't believe us what are saying. You have to make ur mind up with what ur gonna do as it's not good going round in complete circles over and over again. Knows that ur vulnerable as u keep going back to him. That's why ur not moving on. I think u still want him and ur gonna move on untill u do what we have said and block all contact with him. Don't see we didn't warn u. You have to do this for u.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's nothing more to say. Only u can do this for urself. You can keep going back to him knowing he's using u and not realising how horrible of a guy he is or start making him aware that ur n it putting up with him no more and u gonna move on starting from today and blocking all contact from him. You will then know that moving on from him will make u not want him back once u start making those steps. It's good that u got people to talk to and who care about u but they can only try and make u see sense for u to make that first step. YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAY!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    There's nothing more to say. Only u can do this for urself. You can keep going back to him knowing he's using u and not realising how horrible of a guy he is or start making him aware that ur n it putting up with him no more and u gonna move on starting from today and blocking all contact from him. You will then know that moving on from him will make u not want him back once u start making those steps. It's good that u got people to talk to and who care about u but they can only try and make u see sense for u to make that first step. YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAY!!!

    Are u saying he doesnt like the one he is living with either?
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