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Should I get back in touch with an old friend?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,

I am not sure what I should do and it would be great if I could get some advice on the situation.

I met this guy at a drama convention back in October 2012. We hit it off and we had a lot in common. We kept in touch via facebook and skype chats.

I didn't have many friends that year so I got attached to him (not romantically). After 6 months I felt he was becoming needy and relied on me to help him with his problems while he went out and had a fantastic time with his friends at home.

I felt a little used so I deleted him from facebook. The last time we messaged each other was August 2013.

He has recently sent me a message saying hi and saying he would like to talk to me again.

Do you guys think I should be forgiving and message him? After all he was my friend and he helped me when no one else in my year wanted to be my friend. Should I ignore him and not write back? I'm confused.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If u want to keep in contact depends on how u feel about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not go for it? It's not like you owe him anything. If it turns out he just needs someone for his problems, or just looks for a fuck or something you can decline and put it to hiatus again.

    Basically, you don't know how it's gonna be. So the most logical thing I'd say is go for it and see if it's positive to you. If it's negative to you, you can just quit again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Vintage :wave:

    From what you say, it sound's like you and your friend were great support for each other in a quite a lonely time. It sounds like your friend had a lot of needs and came to rely on you a bit too much. It can be hard to find the strenght to always be there for someone who is having a difficult time. I wonder if you ever spoke to him about how you felt?

    If you feel like you want to start up the friendship again, then go for it. It might be that he is in a much better and secure place, and won't be as dependent on you as he has been previously. It's your decision about whether you want to open the door to him again, but I'm sure you will make the right choice for you. :)

    Hope this helps! :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Vintage :wave:

    Whether you choose to start up your friendship or not is a completely personal choice.

    However you did mention that you had alot in common with this guy.

    It seems that at the time you were both probably going through a lot and were able to support each other during a time of need.

    So although you felt a little used he probably just felt you were someone he trusted to confide in about his problems.

    It may be worth considering that almost a year has passed now so you never know what is going on with him. A lot can happen in a year.

    He might be in completely different place than before and genuinely just want to have you as a friend.

    It may just be a good chance to reconnect with someone you had a lot in common with and if not then you are not obligated to continue a friendship with him.

    Hope this helps!:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its worth messaging him back and telling him u felt since the last time u spoke to him and why u deleted him as a friend. This guy maybe wondering what he's done wrong so it's worth having an open discussion with him and deciding wether to continue being friends or not. I think as he has spoken to u to u then it sounds like to me that he wants u as a friend again and needs u back in his life cuz u two got on so well. At the end of the day u were the one what stopped talking to him so it's only mature of u u get ur feelings across to him by getting back in touch again. You never know u two could be friends again in a week's time and feel different to how u was feeling before. I think u should give him another chance but that's for u to decide wether he's worth it or not. Do u think he may have a crush on u if he confided in u when he was desprete for u to help him with his problems? Could be he thought of u mire as a friend. You should talk to him again and see what happens. In the mean time u should try and get to know more people in ur drama group so ur mind don't revolve around him.
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