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how many is too many?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
the post about a girlfriend's past reminded me of the conversation i had with my boyfriend about our previous partners...

in the past 4 years i've had sex with 9 people, and in the past 7 years he's had sex with 8 people (i'm including him and he's including me in those numbers).

i felt weird because i've slept with more people in less time (but then he's done a lot of stuff with a LOT of people but not gone all the way with them, and i was in pretty serious relationships with most of the people i slept with, though admittedly not all)... anyway, most of my friends are virgins/ only slept with 1 person, so i really don't know what the 'normal' number is, and how far off it I am...

how many partners have people here had? what do you think the normal range is?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    amadee, comparisons with number of partners is never a good place to go because you're never comparing apples to apples. there is no such thing as a "normal" number of partners for an age bracket.

    people fall in love and take lovers at different paces. i have a friend who's been married 5 years to the first and only person he's ever slept with and a friend that has a quota on the number of women he sleeps with per month. ( <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt; )

    i know this may sound a bit hokey, but what do numbers matter if you're in love? it's who the person is now that's important. and if he's willing to remain monogamous and dedicated to you that's all that matters.

    i mean talking about this topic with your bf is important, but don't let it get in the way of ur relationship.

    live for now is what i'm saying.

    good luck amadee <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;


    [This message has been edited by Calvin (edited 31-05-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What Calvin said! Nice advice, Dude!
    Marvin
    "And then she asked me, 'Do I look alright?' And I say 'Yes, you look wonderful tonight.'"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    numbers don't matter, you're right, and it's not getting in the way of our relationship at all. we're both totally ok with what we've done. i guess i'm more curious than anything...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've had six in two years, including the partner i'm with now, two of which were holiday flings, where i live, thats a really samll number, most of the girls round here have slept with a lot of people <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt; so really i'm seen as a bit virginal! Little do they know!! hahahahah!!
    I thoud I saw a puddycat, I did, I did see a puddycat!!
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    ive only had 2 in.... oh hang on, in the past year. to the day! argh lol... thats scary. that's also ever btw. i dont think anyone thinks badly of me for this, i mean most of my friends at school and stuff havent even had a boyfriend or have just got off with people as dares and stuff, let alone slept with them. so god knows how they see me, but theyre not really my friends as such so it doesnt bother me anyway.
    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    ~ the late, great Douglas Adams
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's like too much garlic.

    Some people think any is evil,

    Others can't get enough.

    To the first I say "bring out the branston",

    To the second I say make sure you take precautions -- eat lots of parsley and mint.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've had 5 and i'm 16.

    I feel that i am way ahead of myself and have promised to slow down.
    : Ross @ Ross Project :
    : www.rossproject.co.uk :

    : a weblog :
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've got a 14y.o girl friend who has had 6 or 7, i think. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; she's had four in the last 12 months, 5 in that last two years.
    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in the past year and a half I have had four partners, only one of them serious b/f.

    To be honest with you i would not think there is a proper number of people.

    it depends on who you are and your personality.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont see any problem with sleeping with people who you genuinely feel for, no matter how many that is (within reason!). people who wear it like a badge - the 'another notch on the bedpost' type - are the ones who are in the wrong. so, its all good clean fun <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; so long as nobody gets boastful.

    p.s. FYI, zero in 17 years, so im not speakin from experience <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think Calvin is right (again?). Numbers don't matter, as long as you have been cautious and that he wears rubber.

    Enjoy it, just remember that it isn't a competition and there is no prize at the Pearly Gates.


    "So raise your fists and march around
    Don't dare take what you need
    I'll jail and bury those committed
    And smother the rest in greed"
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