Home Health & Wellbeing

completely hopeless

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
My Mum died of Cancer 2 days ago. I've never seen a dead body before but I couldn't stop crying. I feel like a part of my childhood is just gone.

I don't really have any real friends. My aunties just disowned me and all I really have is my Dad. Can't say I'm close to my Brother. I have Aspergers which makes life difficult as it and barely anyone understands how much it affects me. I've also got dyslexia, dyspraxia, attention deficit disorder, joint hyper-mobility, bipolar, insomnia and a have really bad anxiety so life pretty much sucks. I can't even get an extension on my dissertation, I leave Uni in a bit and got to get a job.

This is the bare bones of it I can't explain the complexity of my family or the situation I'm in cus I'd be going on hours. I'm more alone than ever, life feels like a chore I don't know if I can handle it now. I don't really want to wake up anymore I wish I could just not exist but as the body is made to survive I don't know how to kill myself. Even if I was I would feel bad for whoever found me cus it would traumatise them for life. I come from a horrible home town and I can't relate or talk to anybody. I never thought I'd be resorting to a site for help but that's how desperate I've become. I've been on 40mg Citalapram for months and I don't feel any better. I can't even explain how shit this feels but if anyone's got any advice please share it because I can't stand feeling like this.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Tazer101 welcome to the boards :wave:

    I am sorry to hear about your mum, it must be very hard for you at the moment dealing with your loss *hug*

    I have noticed you said you can't get an extension on your dissertation, is there a reason why? You should be able to if you explain the reasons why you need to extend it and you maybe able to get a note of your doctor to prove it.

    I wouldn't worry about getting a job just yet as you need to focus on yourself a bit as you are going through a lot at the mo.

    You mentioned the meds that you are on and that you don't feel it's helping, maybe you could see your G.P and talk about how you feel especially as you are having to deal with the loss of your mum, they may refer you to some professional help. Also in time when you are ready there is support around grievance.

    You are not alone as we are here to support you.

    purple_rain
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