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Unsure and confused.

*BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical PosterPosts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
Hey.

Sorry for posting another thread, my 'mixed feelings' thread is getting long now I don't like keep bringing it up. I have lots going on at the minute and I don't know what to do.

I have been unhappy at work for a while and I have sent my CV off to other places. I wanted to be pro active about it all, and so far it has helped but knowing I have to go back to work on Tuesday is really upsetting me, and stressing me out. I feel like I can't enjoy my weekend. I have raised my worries with staff at my job but things don't seem to change.

I am just seen as a joke, I am never taken seriously and my work place isn't professional. I just feel like I can't fulfil my potential there. I have worked there for 6 years. I have gained a lot of skills and knowledge during my time there. I just think now is the time to move on.. One example is.. When I say something it either gets ignored or people talk over me, which means that I can't get my ideas heard. Somebody is always better than me. I understand that people have their own strengths and weaknesses but it just feels like I am never good enough. For so long I was treated differently because I have mental health problems and a learning disability and I thought all that was put behind me now, but clearly not. I don't upset people so why do they want to upset me on a daily basis. I want my voice to be heard and for things to change but the truth is the manager is never there and everyone is too busy being best friends and clicky with each other that they don't care what they say or do.

Another thing that I get told a lot is 'your just taking it personally' I know that I can take things to heart but when it comes to my job and people are just being rude it's not me taking them personally.

Since all this stuff with work has been going on, I haven't felt very good with my mental health, and it has taken a dip in recovery. I have been crying a lot and haven't wanted to really talk to anybody. I cried at work and then cried again when I got home on Thursday and Friday.

I am scared that my mental health is going to start to affect my job, and that isn't what I want. I still have a job and I am still passionate about working with the children. But I am just not happy at my workplace.

I have relapsed quite a lot recently and I am finding it hard to get back up and carry on.

I don't know what to do for the best.

I wish I could be different, and people could be nicer to me, I hate the person I have become.
" And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Banana Monkey,

    I'm really sorry to hear that you aren't doing so well and that you are struggling a bit with your job. You spend a lot of your time at work and so it is important to feel happy and comfortable in your job. If you don't feel like that then you are doing the right thing in looking for something different.

    Why do you feel that nobody takes you seriously at work? Do you feel because of your mental health issues people are treating you differently? If so have you spoken to them to explain what it is like for you and how the way they treat you makes you feel?

    Is there anyone at work who you could speak to about this? If not your manager then perhaps a colleague, friend or maybe your doctor?

    Like you say you have learnt a lot from the job and you shouldn't overlook the progress you have made and your abilities in the workplace.

    Purple_ Rain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww u nearly made me cry when I read that u goiing threw a lot at the moment :*( maybe u coulld right it down or something big hugs xxxx
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
    Hi Banana Monkey,

    I'm really sorry to hear that you aren't doing so well and that you are struggling a bit with your job. You spend a lot of your time at work and so it is important to feel happy and comfortable in your job. If you don't feel like that then you are doing the right thing in looking for something different.

    Why do you feel that nobody takes you seriously at work? Do you feel because of your mental health issues people are treating you differently? If so have you spoken to them to explain what it is like for you and how the way they treat you makes you feel?

    Is there anyone at work who you could speak to about this? If not your manager then perhaps a colleague, friend or maybe your doctor?

    Like you say you have learnt a lot from the job and you shouldn't overlook the progress you have made and your abilities in the workplace.

    Purple_ Rain

    Hi, Thank you for your reply.

    I have thought about it some more and in my heart I really don't want to leave. I am just so unsure of what to do now for the best.

    I have talked to people at work, my manager, deputy manager/room leader but nothing ever changes. I am coming that close to just going to my doctor and getting myself signed off. I know that isn't practical and the problems with work will still be there. I am going away in June, for a week so I am hoping that will help clear my head a bit.

    I can say things at work and they get ignored my ideas are never good enough, or even if I just say something about a random topic maybe, like what I did on the weekend, like what others say somebody will speak louder over me. I think cos of my mental health and having a learning disability people just see me as 'the person with things wrong with her' They don't see me as a member of staff. When I speak to them to explain what they say upsets me, I get told that I am taking it personally. I don't think I am very liked at work to be honest.

    I just want to be able to enjoy work, and life. I haven't enjoyed my weekend cos all I have been thinking about is work.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
    Aww u nearly made me cry when I read that u goiing threw a lot at the moment :*( maybe u coulld right it down or something big hugs xxxx

    Aw thank you Heather. I wrote it all down in my thread and it did help
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
    Really struggling with things right now.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 Mega Poster
    Thinking about moving on is a really good, and brave step to take in this situation. Everyone will, at some point in their career, feel like they've reached a kind of ceiling with their current role, if they stay in it too long - perhaps this is what's happened here?

    From what you've said and you've told me in the past, it sounds like you aren't getting either the stretching tasks you need to advance, or even support for the day to day tasks you undertake. Are there any posts in your local area you could apply for? That might be a good step :)
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
    The thing is on actually thinking about it, all nurseries are gonna be the same and I have always said I wont go and work in another nursery. I don't know what I want to do.

    I don't know if I want to move onto something different. When I emailed my CV out I did it cos I was so angry and wanted to leave but I have had time to think, ruined my weekend but I have had a think.

    I feel so low tonight thinking about everything. :(
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi BananaMonkey :wave:

    It is hard knowing what is the best thing to do but in time you will know what the answer is and I think what plugitin is spot on about how people reach a certain point in their career and know when to change jobs. I understand where you are coming from as I was in your position with my job a while ago and I made a decision to move on as it was the best thing for me.

    I think getting away for a while is a good thing so it will be a good time to think and to switch off from work. Where are you going?

    purple_rain
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,221 The Mix Elder
    Yeah I guess.

    I am going to Puerto Rico :)
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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