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Looking for some help - alcoholism

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I wasn't quite sure where to put this post, but I'll explain why. My mother has struggled with drinking problems to varying degrees over the years, however it crosses over with depression/severe OCD and she sees it as a coping mechanism.

She's a very difficult drunk to live with; extremely aggressive, hateful, violent, manipulative...basically everything that she isn't when sober. Her problems essentially took away my childhood, it reached a stage where I was having to bathe her, dress her and feed her from as early as 9 years old right up until my late teens when I moved away from home to go to uni. By this point things had gone too far and she put herself in serious risk health-wise and was told by doctors that if she didn't stop drinking, she'd die. After many relapses, she eventually stopped completely and went a few years without touching a drop.

This year back in February her mental health took a turn for the worst again and her depression took more of a hold on her than ever before. She's always been adamant that she won't take anti-depressants and of course they can't be forced upon her, she has to decide for herself that she wants help. It's been a downward spiral since then and three days ago she started drinking again which both my dad and I are just absolutely devastated about, it feels as if she never stopped at all and is the exact same way she always was.

I just can't go back to that again, I've felt ill these past few days reliving all of those horrible memories and just don't know what to do. Her behaviour is so erratic and genuinely scary that we feel completely trapped because we never know what she'll do to herself or us next. She threatens to kill herself fairly often, she even threatens us. We don't know who can help or what kind of help there even is, I can't help but feel she needs to be somewhere for a while where she can be monitored and given professional help that we just can't give her, but in the past despite her being in contact with medical professionals several times because of all this we were always told that because her problems are worsened by drinking she must stop that first before she'll be offered serious help for her other issues.

She's my mum and I love her of course, but it breaks my heart to see the difference in her when she's been drinking and I can't live like that again, my dad and I are just at a loss and she's showing no signs of remorse or desire to stop again. This is the first forum I've really come across where it seems like someone may be able to offer some advice...so if anyone has any, I'd really appreciate it.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you heard of Al Anon? It might be worth checking if there's one local to you - you and your dad might find them very helpful.
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