Advice needed- abortion aftermath

Former Member

When I like a guy, I text a lot, it’s part of who I am and I find reasons to text that person constantly. I recently met a guy that I like, we slept together and he told me that he liked me quite a lot but wasn’t interested in anything more because we live so far apart. Yet he made quite a lot of effort to meet up with me, text me and ask me questions about myself, it was going really well.
I then found out I was pregnant with his baby and we both decided an abortion was the right thing, he was really kind and supportive at first and assured me nothing would change. Yet he never text me while I was having the process, he hasn’t seemed keen to see me again and he never replies to my text anymore. I keep trying and have still text him a lot.
I feel really disappointed, hurt and a bit confused by this and am unsure whether I should say or do. Should I say something or leave it and forget him completely?

BubblesGoesBoo

i would try speak to him, even if it's just to help you get past it ...

Former Member

Thank you.

BubblesGoesBoo

No problem Hope things work out soon

Former Member

Hi there welshgirl1990,

Welcome to the boards :wave:

It sounds like this has really upset you, and understandably so. Already going through an abortion can be really scary and bring about mixed feelings and emotions - and on top of that you have to deal with him being distant.

It does seem quite unfair that he made it seem like he would be there supporting you, and wasn't. It could be that this experience has affected him too and he needs time - however not replying to your messages isn't helping :no:

You say you are already messaging him, so perhaps there isn't many more options to get through to him. Have you been able to speak to someone close to you about what happened? Perhaps at the moment you need to count on your other friends, as he seems quite unreliable *hug*

Perhaps in time he will get back to you and taking a step back from him could help you? Feeling the upset and frustration of him not replying could maybe things feel worse.

Do let us know how you get on *hug*

Former Member

Thank you, that was really helpful.

I have spoken to him and he is having problems at home, which I appreciate but his little regard for me still hurt, but at least he apologised.

I've spoken to a few friends and I just have to acknowledged that he;s never going to give me the support I wanted, and it's done.

Bunnie

Hi there

Unfortunately people deal with things in different ways but they don't always consider the impact it will have on others.

It can't have been easy for either of you but with a good group of friends, you'll get through it. It sounds to me that he doesn't know how to handle the whole experience, but if you've tried reaching out to him it's probably best to concentrate on you and how you feel rather than holding out for his support.

I hope you feel better soon xx

Former Member

Thanks bunnie, your completely right.

I guess I'm having two problems to really because I'm also upset over how he treated me but I'm also upset over the fact that the relationship is now not going anywhere. Any tips on how to get over a "crush" because I guess that's whats now happening.

Former Member

Hi Welshgirl1990
It is understandable that you are upset over the way he is treating you. He may have had family issues but the abortion was also his responsibility and he was not supportive. Do you still love him? Because it seems that the relationship is not going anywhere and he makes you upset. If you do then talk to him, tell him how he has made you feel. Otherwise find someone who can give you the sort of support you value when you need someone to be there for you.