If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
I can't understand relationships
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've dated the same person on and off all the way through secondary school and have feelings for him now yet I don't feel like I want a relationship, I never get it, I want to but I can't. I am young yes but everyone around me understands the concept perfectly, my life is ruined because of this reason. I rushed into doing something slightly sexual with someone older than me because I thought that way I'd get it. But now all that's left is the fear of it getting around school. What should I do?
0
Comments
Welcome to the boards :wave:
It must be hard to feel you rushed into doing something sexual and are now worried about people finding out - but try not to worry too much as it's unlikely people will find out - and the important thing to remember is to try not to do something you feel uncomfortable doing again, unless you really want to.
Can you clarify what it is about relationships you feel unsure about?
It seems you did have some kind of relationship with this on off boyfriend so perhaps you know more about relationships than you think :yes: but perhaps you are just not ready to be in one? A relationship doesn't have to be sexual either, it can just be two people caring about each other.
Don't be too hard on yourself - relationships are hard, take time, need patience, compromise and commitment - so it's ok if you feel you don't want to be in one.
Is there anyone you can speak to about your worries?
Do let us know how you get on *hug*
Try not to worry about anything relating to others. People shouldn't find out about any of your sexual experiences, but even if they do then they have no right to judge you if that was what you felt was right for you at the time. Is there anyone really close to you that you can talk to about it, as it may be nice to have someone to sound this off and realise that maybe it isn't perceived in the way you thought it would be at all by other people when they know about what happened?