My job is bringing me down and I don't know what to do...

Former Member

Hey guys... It's been ages since I posted on here but I'm hoping someone can help.
I work full time, and have done since I left uni in 2nd yr, over a year ago. I fully intend to go back to studying, but I want to do something different now. My ucas was declined for this year because it was late, and I'm living in a house with my boyfriend, who is a student, so I work full time to pay my rent/ other bills.
My first job since moving away from home was in a shop and was great, but they started cutting my hours, and because there was no contract, there was nothing I could do. So I applied elsewhere and started my current job in a fast food restraunt last November. I hate it. I get stressed out really easily because of other staff members, and the management are unorganised and altogether poor. I like one of the managers, but one of the assistant managers and one of the supervisors think that because of their positions they don't have to work, and that their job is to just make sure I do everything. And they aren't even polite about it. Even if they make a mistake, it's always my fault somehow. I always seem to get the majority of lousy shifts, that noone else wants.
I just hate it.
It's bringing me down far too much. I've suffered from depression for 7 years now, I've been on and off antidepressants for 4 years (my dr wouldnt prescribe them until I turned 18). I had it all under control for the last year though, I've mostly stayed off the pills. Now all those feelings and urges are coming back and I feel overwhelmed, but also upset that I tried so hard and a shitty job broke me again. If I've had a particularly bad day, like today, I'll buy a bottle or two of wine and drink it alone. Which, I'm guessing, isn't healthy at all. I'm genuinely afraid of becoming reliant on alcohol.
I've been applying for other jobs, but haven't recieved any replies. I need my job, I literally can't afford to leave, but I feel that I will just get worse and worse if I stay. I'm starting college in September so I can leave then, or at least work there less, but until then I don't know what to do.
Any advice?

**helen**

Hi there Liquid confidence, welcome back to TheSite

I've moved your thread over to the work board as it felt like it was getting a little lost over in health. I can see how both topics are completely relevant though. :thumb:

Work consumes much of our time, so when it's not going well, it's understandable there's a big impact on our mental health. In your case, it's not just a casual dislike - you've told us you really hate it and are being treated poorly by managers. This is a really tough situation to be in, so its positive you've posted here.

You mention you've been applying for other jobs but without success. Can you tell us a bit more about that - what kind of roles have you been applying for and how have you been approaching it?

I also wondered if you've tried any temping agencies? Or tried taking your CV to other more appealing shops/food places?

It's really promising that you're starting college in September - what are you studying? Could there be some relevant work experience opportunities worth exploring?

You mentioned having been on and off antidepressants for some time. It sounds like at this point going to see a doctor again to assess things for you right now might be worth exploring. If this is something you struggle with, then you might find the online tool DocReady helpful in planning what you'll say when you go.

You also mention drinking alone at home. You've mentioned living with a boyfriend and I was wondering if this is something he's aware of or that you've talked about? It might be that finding things to do together in the evening could break the habit? I'm not going to assume that you have a problem at the moment, but certainly the fact you've mentioned suggests it's a worry.

Would be good to hear your thoughts on some of these things.

Former Member

Hey, thanks for the reply.

I've been applying for jobs that I have previous experience in, for example bar work, retail and grocery shops and cafes. I apply for them when they're advertised online etc. I've only been called to one interview in the past 6 months, but I know y CV is good and my references are excellent
It's disheartening.

I'm hoping to study health and social care, so I can go on to uni and study nursing. I've looked at working in a care home, and even volunteering, but most of the relevant positions require experience.

My boyfriend has only recently found out about me drinking, and I have stopped. He's really supportive and understanding of my situation. He's works too though, and most days when I'm finished work, he's starting his so I am alone at home a lot.

I'm definitely going to go to the doctor. I've been putting it off for so long.

**helen**

Hey again

I can see why you feel disheartened on the job front as it sounds like you're being pretty pro-active and feel confident about your CV. Have you made it known to friends and family you're looking explicitly? One option could be to make it known on social media (e.g. facebook or even just drop a few people an email) that you're hunting and would appreciate people to forward you things/recommend you if something comes up. You never know, it might open a door or two.

Health and Social Care course sounds really positive and going into nursing is really admirable. Once you start that there will hopefully be scope for placements which is where you'll be able to get your first experience. Is this mentioned in the course outline at all? If it's not then it's something your tutors should be able to help you with.

I'm so pleased to hear that your boyfriend is really supportive - that's great to hear. Being home alone isn't always joyful though and sounds like there's plenty of time for you to get your thoughts tied in knots. Have you ever visited our live chat room? You're welcome to check it out whenever - 4 nights to choose from at the mo Monday/Wed/Thurs/Sunday

Let us know how you get on at the docs.

Take care,
H

Former Member

You say a lot of the care type jobs you look at require experience - have you ever tried applying for them? They're sometimes difficult roles to fill, so they might be willing to take someone without experience. It could be disheartening to get turned down by more places - but if you know it's long shot in the first place then maybe that might not be so much of an issue. How well that would work would depend on what the demand is like for carers in your area, in a lot of areas they're really short but may or may not apply to you.

Being home alone sucks, especially if you haven't got much to do. I learnt to knit, which was just about within my brain power in the evening and gave me something to do that was actually really satisfying as I started to progress (and by progress, I mean get 2 rows on a set of needles). Do you have any hobbies or interests outside of work and your boyfriend? I have found having something else like that a complete godsend at patches when I've hated my job.

Former Member

Hi.

As scary monster said a lot of care work has to start somewhere it may not be the best option but have you looked into agencies I've worker with agencies in the care sector for two years and have never been short of work, many will take you without relevant experience. It's worth having a look into liquid confidence, care homes sometimes want experience but agencies also do shifts in care homes I've done several over the years as well as in prisons, psych units and hospitals occasionally as they have a wide variety on offer. Agency may not be what you're looking for and some people say you don't work but show potential and you'll get given plenty. Could be worth a look at as you could keep your current job and do a bit of agency work part time to see if can get the hours.





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