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Scared of going home

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been at university for six months now and its been something I really needed, since being here I went home for two weeks and stayed inside most of the time. This time however I'm heading back for two weeks and will be working most of the time. Its doesn't seem too bad I realise that but what I am scared of is seeing my ex-girlfriend, we broke up just under a year ago but I really liked her and its been a slow process getting over it (but I have made progress).

Seeing her will stir up so many memories, let alone being in the house and area. Is there anything I can do to make me less scared? or how to handle it better if I do see her?

Sorry I know this is pretty stupid.


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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Febox,

    Good to hear from you again :)

    This doesn't sound stupid at all. The thought of seeing a significant ex is often really daunting, especially after a painful break-up. It's understandable that you're worried all the old thoughts and feelings will come back again if you see her.

    It's easy to build up this kind of thing in our minds. Sometimes the more we think about what could happen, the scarier it can be. But often we just don't know how we'll react to seeing an ex until it happens, and usually it's not as bad as we'd imagined. It might be hard, but it might actually be okay. Until we're in that situation, it's hard to know.

    You said you've made progress, and that going away to uni has been helpful - that's really positive! Remember that whatever happens, you can't lose that progress. Nothing can change what you have achieved :) The last six months have clearly been a good time for you, and you'll be headed back there afterwards. Then you've got two more years to look forward to!

    What kind of work will you be doing when you're home? Will that take you somewhere that you might meet her? If you go out (in the evenings for example) are there any friends you could go with so that you're not alone? Maybe keeping busy could help keep the memories at bay..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm going to be working back where I used to work, just your typical flipping burgers kind of job for a little extra cash. I shouldn't really see her while I'm there, but I might see on the way to/from work, I had done once or twice before. She lives a few towns over but where I live is the closest for decent shops etc so ventures over there time to time.

    As for evenings, the only place I'd be going is the local pub that I go to every now and then, once again, if there's a pub she'll be at, that's the one. I'm even more worried about the fact that if she is there, she'll either a) be there with someone and I really don't want to see that or 2) try to speak to me :/
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