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I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I would really like to have someone else's opinion on this situation who doesn't know me or my ex boyfriend, because obviously my friends and family are opinionated on this topic.

I was with my ex boyfriend officially for 20 months, however we were dating for 4 months, so our relationship lasted officially for two years, he was my first committed and serious boyfriend, we got together when we were 16&17 and broke up when we were 18&19 - I was the one to call of the relationship in June last year, this was an attempt to shock him and make him realise that he had changed and turned into a different person to the one who I fell in love with, he would keep me awake all night when I stayed over at his even though I had work the next day, he would shout and swear at me, so initially I thought it would be a good idea.

Fast toward to august, I went to Italy with my best friend for two weeks and still had communication with my ex boyfriend, when I came home we met up for the first time since breaking up, it was really emotional obviously and we didn't want to say goodbye to one another, so we decided that we obviously still loved each other and therefore we should try again. Now fast forward to October, he asked me out on a date and I freaked and panicked about it as I was worried about what other people would think, I said 'let me think about it', two days later he got with another girl who he met out one night, they then started seeing each other and then got into a relationship.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, the Christmas just gone was our first one apart for three years, so Christmas Eve I sent him a message on twitter because at this point we were still secretly talking, anyway this message simply said 'I'll miss you this christmas, it won't be the same without you' i unfollowed him as I didn't think he would respond as our relationship was quite on and off also, however he went down my tweets and favourited them all and unblocked me on Facebook to send me a message saying that I should call him to have a general conversation but no one needed to know about it. I rang him and we were on the phone for 2 hours, it was as though nothing had even changed between us, he asked me what I thought of his new girlfriend however. He said that even though he had had a few drinks, he wasn't drunk, he said that he still loved me and he thinks about me all of the time, he's using Laura to get over me and when he's with her, he thinks of me. The phone call had to end because Laura was getting suspicious and she then said she thinks I'm trying to interfere with their relationship (this is what he said). However even though telling me we weren't going to talk again, Christmas Day he spoke to me and sent a photo of him with his friends, it was as though we were spending it together.

Early hours Boxing Day he text me saying that I needed to go to his house, he wanted to see me, now I couldn't leave my house at 2AM to travel half an hour without telling my parents, so I said no I couldn't. To this day, we haven't spoken since. He is still with Laura and they claim to be in love, but I can't move on because I still believe he loves me and that Laura is a rebound which he can't get out of as he feels bad for doing this to her. I feel as though I need to speak to him to get closure on this as it's been going on for too long, I'm left behind crying and feeling sad about everything. However, there is no way of communication as he has blocked my number, twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I'm worried that if I went to his house, Laura would be there or he would shout at me and be angry. What do I do? I really hope someone replies as this has been going on for too long now and I really need to know what to do.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey bmcguire :),

    I can understand how you seem to be struggling with your ex boyfriend; seems like you really liked him. Considering its your first relationship as well ? one can totally relate and understand where you are coming from *hug* I imagine it must be quite frustrating with the mixed signals :chin: you seem to have gotten from him in the past with the calls whilst he was with his girlfriend. Getting over a loved one (especially if they seem to ?have moved on so quickly?) isn?t an easy process.

    Have you had a chance to think through your relationship - both the good and the bad aspects of it? This might provide perspective on what you are willing to compromise and tolerate in future relationship. You said you ended it because you felt he had become a different person. Do you think he's still that person? Would the same thing happen again?

    You might also find this article on TheSite very insightful; accepting it's over (http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/accepting-its-over-3185.html). It might also be of interest to think through if you actually miss him or miss being in a relationship (some people love being in love - which in itself is a great thing but caution need to applied in certain instances).

    How about you consider doing something for yourself? Rather than waiting for him to get in touch with you - go out and socialise, meet some more people as this would help take your mind off him. You could also meet new guys as well. What do you enjoy doing?

    I understand this must be difficult for you and your fiends + family are bound to have that somewhat biased view because they care. Go out with your (girl)friends, have a laugh, let your hair down, try not to stress or obsess too much about things.

    Let us know how you get on *hug*.

    Stay safe

    :wave:
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